NeuroTalk Support Groups - Empty nest is filling up again, for a little while.

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- - Empty nest is filling up again, for a little while. (https://www.neurotalk.org/the-stumble-inn/65050-empty-nest-filling-little.html)

Yeah, Sally. Thanks. Right now, I feel like I need all the empathy I can get.

She's a good kid, with a good heart, and usually makes good decisions. But, we also had the issue of senioritis and major attitude problems last year, and she's at the age where parents are just stupid. She never did stupid things, like partying, or whatever, and she was very active in the church youth group and considered a leader there by both the youth sponsors and her peers, but she was sure hard to live with at home.

I've been told that, by the time she turns 21, we'll be smarter. I hope so, but I have trouble imagining that our intelligence will increase in her eyes in 2 short years.

Tonight, she wondered if I wanted to go rent a video with her. I was in the middle of watching a decent movie on TV, but I didn't want to turn her down, so I said yes. But, I wondered if she'd go pick out something herself. (She doesn't ever want to rent anything I suggest anyways.) But, no, she didn't want to do it then.

So, I just made a quick about-switch, and said, OK let's go. So, we rented a couple of videos (ones that she chose, of course) and watched one tonight.

I just treasure whatever time that she wants to spend with me, especially when she initiates it, because often, other times, we butt heads.

~ Faith

Wow Faith that is a little to far.

Here I am upset that I moved to Kentucky before my daughter did.

But it would only take 10 hrs. to go to see her not the otherside of the
world.

I hope for your sake that they decide to stay in the good ole USA.

Jappy :)

Yeah, Jappy. USA is unlikely; they are talking more about Winnipeg (in Canada). But, even that (18 hrs), would be closer than Asia. And, Winnipeg could kind of be on the way when we go to see my Dad in Saskatoon (also in Canada).

~ Faith

You just keep staying calm about it. My mom never was judgemental with my decisions at that age and I grew much closer to her over time and more dependent on her from afar. I moved from Oregon to Pennsylvania for a guy when I was 19 (sound familiar?). He turned out to be the wrong guy, but I found the right one when I was here, so it all worked out and I've been married to him for nearly 17 years.

I always felt like I could call her and lean on her and we truly were closer than we ever were when I lived nearer. I called her probably nearly every day until the last couple of years of her life when she just couldn't accept my illness and I felt so abandoned. That was when there was real distance between us.

I guess my big point is that you are doing the right thing by supporting and not judging. She will trust you and get closer to you through this. Even if she is living 10 hours away or on the other side of the world, she will still be close to you. I really miss that about my mom. For so many years, I could just pick up the phone anytime and be with her. That wouldn't have been possible if she had come across as harsh or judgemental about my "bad" choice to move out here for a guy who turned out to be a jerk. She was there for me when that went bad and there for me again when I found Mike and things were good. Oh how I miss her....

Thanks, Holly. You always give good advice.

Unfortunately, even my support is often misinterpreted. I think she's just so sure that I won't be supportive, she has preconceptions about what I'm thinking and saying. But, I'll keep trying.

Our good times and bad are pretty interspersed. Some days, she pushes me out of the room and locks the door, when I thought I was saying positive things.

And, other times, she invites me to do Christmas baking with her (in Dec.), or watch a video together. I hardly know what to expect.

I'm still waiting for the time when parents "get smarter". :)

~ Faith

Let her keep thinking. That little voice in her head that she thinks is Mom's...might just be her own woman's intuition kicking in.

She might be scared inside too. Pushing you away...she may think moving away will easier. Kid logic. :rolleyes:

It's heartbreaking when daughters move away. I am very close to my daughter that moved to NJ. It's been 3 years. I miss her so much, but I am extremly proud of her and what she has accomplished there. Plus I love her BF like he is my own son.

Mega :hug: Fatih. Plus some prayers to top it off.