Hey nice time of year to have a child back in the home....if you ever feel too empty remember...I siad I have five I can share..hehehehe

just teasing...yesterday I had to pull a all day at work...I was there 7am-330pm...then had to work 5-11pm...so it wasnt worth the trip home to turn back around....I was almost in tears when telling hubby that I wont be home...as I was thinking of not seeing the little ones...all day!!

anyhow glad your DD will be home...and you will have some time before Texas...wow I am pround of the work she is doing!! Is that something voluntary...?? and does she work then on side for money...or is it a school thing?? curious...as mine get older hehe...hgusss,sarah

Sarah -- Oh, that would be so hard, to have to work a double shift like that, with little ones at home. I was always fortunate that I was able to work just part time when my kids were growing up. Although I loved my job, I also loved my days off. I'd wake up in the morning, on a day that I wouldn't have to go to work, and I'd think -- YES! -- I get to stay home with my kids today. It was a really nice balance for me. I don't think I would've been so thrilled every morning if I was a full time stay at home home mom.

About your question. DD graduated from HS in May. She is currently volunteering through a church agency (Mennonite Disaster Service). They have long term volunteers (a months or more -- she plans to stay 7 months) and short term volunteers (Less than a month -- often just a week or two). Lots of youth groups and senior citizens choose to do the short term volunteer work. Some people work as cooks, etc, instead of home building.

They provide a small monthly allowance, I believe, and transportation to the project (they paid to fly her there, and to fly her home for Christmas), housing and meals. She has to provide her own health insurance, but most of her support is provided, in return for her volunteer work.

You can find out more about them, if you want, by googling "Mennonite Disaster Service". Many service and mission agencies require that volunteer raise their own support through donations from friends and family. We felt fortunate that we didn't need to do that with MDS.

My husband and I, before we were married (and, again, after) volunteered through "Mennonite Voluntary Service". That's how we met. And, back in 1959-1960, my mom volunteered through them too. So, DD is the third generation in my family to do voluntary service work. Yes, Sarah, I am very proud of her.

PM me, or email me if you want more info. You don't have to be Mennonite to volunteer with either of them.

~ Faith

I'm glad she's back to spend time with you. I know how worried you were that you were going to lose her, so this is wonderful news!

You know you can't protect her from everything, especially being hurt. But you'll never grow out of being concerned. I still am for my 26 year old and all the things she's going and has gone through. You just have to trust them to make the right decisions at the right time and that if they don't, you have to trust that they will be able to weather the storm the best way possible. Sort of the same way God trusts his children to live their lives.

23 and 19 isn't bad. I had a few thoughts about my daughter 26 and her now hubby 33. He's almost as close to my age as he is to my daughter's age. But it's ok--numbers, when they're adults, don't mean that much--especially when you're talking less than a 10 year difference.

Enjoy your time with her. She sounds like she's doing very well there and has adjusted quite nicely.

Update on DD, empty nest, new BF, etc.:

DD will be home for about another week. Then she'll leave for TX. She says that the project there will be only roofing, and that it should be complete by the end of February. Then, MDS will send her somewhere else, location as yet unknown. She was home for almost a month; hard to believe it's almost over.

Relationship with new BF is even more serious than I realized.

Yes; she's planning to be his date at a wedding in Canada in August. She is also planning to take some time off in March to go visit him and to visit colleges up there. She's known for 2 years that she planned to attend college in Indiana. Is accepted; has all her financial aid (academic and other scholarships) in place (except that we still have to fill out the FAFSA again, for federal $).

She knew this guy for 28 days, dated him for 2 weeks, and is ready to consider changing plans that she's had for 2 years.

Seems like a nice guy. I don't have a problem with the relationship in general, or with him, specifically, at all. My concern is more that she will think through what she really wants to do, and make a decision that she won't regret down the road.

i dont' think that he's trying to influence her, but because he's older, and she's "head over heels", she appears to me to be very vulnerable to his suggestions, even when he is not trying to push her.

They are talking about their relationship as permanent. Marriage, not immediately, but down the road. How can she know that, after 2 weeks???

She's usually got a good head on her shoulders. I'm just doing tons of praying that whatever she decides will be best for her. That she won't be unduly influenced by either me, or by BF. I'm doing whatever I can to help her in the application process for universities up there, so that those options can be available for her, should she decide that's what she wants to do.

I grew up in Canada; married an American, live in KS. I've been far away from my family for 25 years. Although I kind of think it's cool that she fell for a Canadian, I really don't wish to be far away from family for a second generation too.

Also, he's talking about eventually doing mission work in Thailand or India. Wow. That's further away than Winnipeg, huh? If DD marries this guy, and also feels called to do that, I wouldn't want to hold her back. But, it would be so hard to let her go.

~ Faith

Sheesh, Faith. You make me feel soooo glad that my DD graduated college, married, with babes of her own..

Yeah, Sally. Thanks. Right now, I feel like I need all the empathy I can get.

She's a good kid, with a good heart, and usually makes good decisions. But, we also had the issue of senioritis and major attitude problems last year, and she's at the age where parents are just stupid. She never did stupid things, like partying, or whatever, and she was very active in the church youth group and considered a leader there by both the youth sponsors and her peers, but she was sure hard to live with at home.

I've been told that, by the time she turns 21, we'll be smarter. I hope so, but I have trouble imagining that our intelligence will increase in her eyes in 2 short years.

Tonight, she wondered if I wanted to go rent a video with her. I was in the middle of watching a decent movie on TV, but I didn't want to turn her down, so I said yes. But, I wondered if she'd go pick out something herself. (She doesn't ever want to rent anything I suggest anyways.) But, no, she didn't want to do it then.

So, I just made a quick about-switch, and said, OK let's go. So, we rented a couple of videos (ones that she chose, of course) and watched one tonight.

I just treasure whatever time that she wants to spend with me, especially when she initiates it, because often, other times, we butt heads.

~ Faith

Wow Faith that is a little to far.

Here I am upset that I moved to Kentucky before my daughter did.

But it would only take 10 hrs. to go to see her not the otherside of the
world.

I hope for your sake that they decide to stay in the good ole USA.


Jappy

Yeah, Jappy. USA is unlikely; they are talking more about Winnipeg (in Canada). But, even that (18 hrs), would be closer than Asia. And, Winnipeg could kind of be on the way when we go to see my Dad in Saskatoon (also in Canada).

~ Faith

You just keep staying calm about it. My mom never was judgemental with my decisions at that age and I grew much closer to her over time and more dependent on her from afar. I moved from Oregon to Pennsylvania for a guy when I was 19 (sound familiar?). He turned out to be the wrong guy, but I found the right one when I was here, so it all worked out and I've been married to him for nearly 17 years.

I always felt like I could call her and lean on her and we truly were closer than we ever were when I lived nearer. I called her probably nearly every day until the last couple of years of her life when she just couldn't accept my illness and I felt so abandoned. That was when there was real distance between us.

I guess my big point is that you are doing the right thing by supporting and not judging. She will trust you and get closer to you through this. Even if she is living 10 hours away or on the other side of the world, she will still be close to you. I really miss that about my mom. For so many years, I could just pick up the phone anytime and be with her. That wouldn't have been possible if she had come across as harsh or judgemental about my "bad" choice to move out here for a guy who turned out to be a jerk. She was there for me when that went bad and there for me again when I found Mike and things were good. Oh how I miss her....

Thanks, Holly. You always give good advice.

Unfortunately, even my support is often misinterpreted. I think she's just so sure that I won't be supportive, she has preconceptions about what I'm thinking and saying. But, I'll keep trying.

Our good times and bad are pretty interspersed. Some days, she pushes me out of the room and locks the door, when I thought I was saying positive things.

And, other times, she invites me to do Christmas baking with her (in Dec.), or watch a video together. I hardly know what to expect.

I'm still waiting for the time when parents "get smarter".

~ Faith