DD19 is home from New Orleans! She has really enjoyed it there. Just about got to meet Brad Pitt. He has an organization called "Make it Right" that does similar stuff that DD's organization (MDS) is doing -- rebuilding homes, etc. His organization is building a home right next door to one that DD has often worked on, and he was actually there one day. He came over and met all the volunteers at the MDS house and shook their hand, but DD was at a different house that day.

DD has a new BF (boyfriend). She just broke up with one in November that she'd been seeing since this fall, due to her leaving and them choosing to not try to do the long distance relationship thing.

She hasn't dated a lot. She had one long-term boyfriend when she was 15-1/2 through 17 (for a year and a half), and the BF was only the second.

However, less than a month later, she now has a 23 y.o. boyfriend. He was also a volunteer there, he is from Canada, and he's already invited her to be his date at his cousin's wedding, which will be in Winnipeg in August. Sounds like she plans to try the long distance relationship thing with this guy. Not sure what I think of all this -- seems kind of serious already for such a short time knowing each other. But, I keep reminding myself that she is an adult. Age 19 just doesn't sound very adult yet, to me, especially to be seeing a 23 y.o. But, I guess 4 years isn't as big a deal at their ages as it would've been when they were in high school.

Here's a link to my previous post, about my empty nest.

Quote:

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/sh...hlight=orleans

After Christmas, MDS is sending her to a project in Texas to work on rebuilding homes that were also hit by hurricanes there.

~ Faith

She sounds like a very mature young lady, one that you should be very proud of! Enjoy your time with her.

I'm so glad to hear that your DD is home so that you have someone to keep you company, have lots of fun with her and do some nice things!!

I agree with Doydie that she sounds like a very mature women and what a great thing she is doing by helping re-build homes for people!! I really hope that the relationship with her boyfriend will work out - I know you are worried about her but like you said, she is an adult now and has to make these choices for herself. All you can really do is look out for her and be there to comfort her if things don't work out - that is all anyone can ask of you!

I had a so-called "friend" that was 12 and she was dating a 16 year old. The school had words with her mum but she said it was OK and that she trusted her - she is one of those parents that thinks her daughter is an angel when the truth is, she is pretty naughty and way more mature than she is. She is 13 now (the same age as me) and is still going out with the boy who is 17. I fell out with her a few months ago as she didn't understand my illness and was being pretty nasty and my mums glad in a way as she didn't really want me hanging around with her. I am so glad that your daughter isn't in this situation!

Take care and spend some nice, quality time with your DD!

Enjoy your time with your daughter Faith!

Ali --

How nice to hear the perspective of someone closer to DD's generation than to mine!

Yes, in many ways, DD is mature. Her friends look up to her as a leader, as did the youth pastor and youth sponsors from our church. She has always been passionate about donating time to causes that move her.

In spite of that, though, we have found things to knock heads about. She had a difficult/superior attitude during her year of "senioritis" the last year of high school. I was grateful that none of the choices that she made that I disagreed with that year put her in any danger.

I am hopeful that the time she is home, prior to going back to serve some more with MDS will be a positive time for all of us.

About the new BF -- I am hopeful that DD19 doesn't get hurt, and doesn't get too serious too fast, etc. You make a good point about a 12 y.o. dating a 16 y.o. being a more scary situation, in terms of the 12 y.o. being too "mature" for her age. I'm sorry, though, that she has been nasty to you; it is difficult to lose a friend.

~ Faith

Hey nice time of year to have a child back in the home....if you ever feel too empty remember...I siad I have five I can share..hehehehe

just teasing...yesterday I had to pull a all day at work...I was there 7am-330pm...then had to work 5-11pm...so it wasnt worth the trip home to turn back around....I was almost in tears when telling hubby that I wont be home...as I was thinking of not seeing the little ones...all day!!

anyhow glad your DD will be home...and you will have some time before Texas...wow I am pround of the work she is doing!! Is that something voluntary...?? and does she work then on side for money...or is it a school thing?? curious...as mine get older hehe...hgusss,sarah

Sarah -- Oh, that would be so hard, to have to work a double shift like that, with little ones at home. I was always fortunate that I was able to work just part time when my kids were growing up. Although I loved my job, I also loved my days off. I'd wake up in the morning, on a day that I wouldn't have to go to work, and I'd think -- YES! -- I get to stay home with my kids today. It was a really nice balance for me. I don't think I would've been so thrilled every morning if I was a full time stay at home home mom.

About your question. DD graduated from HS in May. She is currently volunteering through a church agency (Mennonite Disaster Service). They have long term volunteers (a months or more -- she plans to stay 7 months) and short term volunteers (Less than a month -- often just a week or two). Lots of youth groups and senior citizens choose to do the short term volunteer work. Some people work as cooks, etc, instead of home building.

They provide a small monthly allowance, I believe, and transportation to the project (they paid to fly her there, and to fly her home for Christmas), housing and meals. She has to provide her own health insurance, but most of her support is provided, in return for her volunteer work.

You can find out more about them, if you want, by googling "Mennonite Disaster Service". Many service and mission agencies require that volunteer raise their own support through donations from friends and family. We felt fortunate that we didn't need to do that with MDS.

My husband and I, before we were married (and, again, after) volunteered through "Mennonite Voluntary Service". That's how we met. And, back in 1959-1960, my mom volunteered through them too. So, DD is the third generation in my family to do voluntary service work. Yes, Sarah, I am very proud of her.

PM me, or email me if you want more info. You don't have to be Mennonite to volunteer with either of them.

~ Faith

I'm glad she's back to spend time with you. I know how worried you were that you were going to lose her, so this is wonderful news!

You know you can't protect her from everything, especially being hurt. But you'll never grow out of being concerned. I still am for my 26 year old and all the things she's going and has gone through. You just have to trust them to make the right decisions at the right time and that if they don't, you have to trust that they will be able to weather the storm the best way possible. Sort of the same way God trusts his children to live their lives.

23 and 19 isn't bad. I had a few thoughts about my daughter 26 and her now hubby 33. He's almost as close to my age as he is to my daughter's age. But it's ok--numbers, when they're adults, don't mean that much--especially when you're talking less than a 10 year difference.

Enjoy your time with her. She sounds like she's doing very well there and has adjusted quite nicely.

Update on DD, empty nest, new BF, etc.:

DD will be home for about another week. Then she'll leave for TX. She says that the project there will be only roofing, and that it should be complete by the end of February. Then, MDS will send her somewhere else, location as yet unknown. She was home for almost a month; hard to believe it's almost over.

Relationship with new BF is even more serious than I realized.

Yes; she's planning to be his date at a wedding in Canada in August. She is also planning to take some time off in March to go visit him and to visit colleges up there. She's known for 2 years that she planned to attend college in Indiana. Is accepted; has all her financial aid (academic and other scholarships) in place (except that we still have to fill out the FAFSA again, for federal $).

She knew this guy for 28 days, dated him for 2 weeks, and is ready to consider changing plans that she's had for 2 years.

Seems like a nice guy. I don't have a problem with the relationship in general, or with him, specifically, at all. My concern is more that she will think through what she really wants to do, and make a decision that she won't regret down the road.

i dont' think that he's trying to influence her, but because he's older, and she's "head over heels", she appears to me to be very vulnerable to his suggestions, even when he is not trying to push her.

They are talking about their relationship as permanent. Marriage, not immediately, but down the road. How can she know that, after 2 weeks???

She's usually got a good head on her shoulders. I'm just doing tons of praying that whatever she decides will be best for her. That she won't be unduly influenced by either me, or by BF. I'm doing whatever I can to help her in the application process for universities up there, so that those options can be available for her, should she decide that's what she wants to do.

I grew up in Canada; married an American, live in KS. I've been far away from my family for 25 years. Although I kind of think it's cool that she fell for a Canadian, I really don't wish to be far away from family for a second generation too.

Also, he's talking about eventually doing mission work in Thailand or India. Wow. That's further away than Winnipeg, huh? If DD marries this guy, and also feels called to do that, I wouldn't want to hold her back. But, it would be so hard to let her go.

~ Faith

Sheesh, Faith. You make me feel soooo glad that my DD graduated college, married, with babes of her own..