[woodhaven]

All of my family is aware of this disease I have and the fact that I fall a lot and can be very moody. They have seen it when they come to visit. They know that this is the reason I very rarely leave home except for doctor appointments.

I agreed to go to a family members house for dinner and fell! They laughed and naturally I was hurt. I thanked them for the food and left, against their wishes. I have not heard from anyone since that night. Should I call and apologize for causing a problem or simply feel, their not understanding is their problem? Nothing or no one was hurt.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

[Curious]

You have zip to apologize for. Nada. You did nothing wrong.

They have the problem.

Next year include a write up about MS in your Christmas cards. Write on it I have this or something. Or bring them with you to the next gathering and staple them to foreheads.

[ali12]

WOW, I don't quite know what to say other than I am soo sorry!!!

I just can't believe that your family could be so cruel and just laugh at you when you fell - that is so not right and they should know better!! I couldn't and wouldn't just laugh at someone for falling over, especially if it was someone in my family!

I don't have MS but I do have a condition that is pretty similar in many ways. I tend to fall quite a lot also and my dad doesn't know much about what is the matter with me and sometimes he laughs and it REALLY annoys me and makes me feel like he doesn't care but usually, my mum says something to him and he will eventually apologize and say he didn't realise how bad that made me feel. My dad once told me that he thinks he is trying to "help" make me feel better after I have fallen by laughing and making light of it - I couldn't believe it when he said that and I was SO mad!! I told my mum what my dad said and she was so annoyed and had an argument with him and said that it was no laughing matter and was very serious.

My dad just doesn't understand what is the matter with me and I honestly don't think he ever will. He has only been to 3 hospital appointments with me and refuses to come and see my doctor as he says it hurts him too much seeing me suffer like this at my age (13) - I wish he would realise how he makes me feel by not coming and stop burying his head under the sand like an ostrich!!

I honestly can't believe that your family could be so cruel and do that to you - that is just soo wrong in many ways!! I can't imagine how you must feel at the moment!

If I was you, I wouldn't call your family and apologize because NON of what happened is your fault and they should realise that they are in the wrong and do something about it!! If you are having quite a lot of pain from the fall, I would call your relatives and say that you are hurting a lot and that you don't know what to do - my doctor told me to say that to my relatives as sometimes it can make them understand!

I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that! If you ever need someone to talk to, please know that I am here for you because I DO understand!

[Jodylee]

I think it depends on your family and your relationship with them. My family would laugh and I would laugh right along with them.

We are just that sort of family . BUT if that's not the case and they were being cruel on purpose; that's and entirely different situation.

[Blessings2You]

I have a close friend who laughs sometimes when I stumble, or flap my arms to keep my balance, or struggle to get my words to come out right.

The first time that happened I was mortally offended, but I realize now that it's more of a nervous reaction for her. Plus, I deal with my issues with humor, and some people just don't get it that it's okay for ME to poke fun at me, but not for YOU to poke fun at me.

Most of us here don't know enough about the relationship between you and your family members to offer much advice, other than in general.

I am most concerned, friend, that you fall a lot. Is there anything you can do beyond what you're already doing to try to reduce the number of falls? Do you use devices such as canes, walkers, or whatever?

[woodhaven]

Originally Posted by Blessings2You

I have a close friend who laughs sometimes when I stumble, or flap my arms to keep my balance, or struggle to get my words to come out right.

The first time that happened I was mortally offended, but I realize now that it's more of a nervous reaction for her. Plus, I deal with my issues with humor, and some people just don't get it that it's okay for ME to poke fun at me, but not for YOU to poke fun at me.

Most of us here don't know enough about the relationship between you and your family members to offer much advice, other than in general.

I am most concerned, friend, that you fall a lot. Is there anything you can do beyond what you're already doing to try to reduce the number of falls? Do you use devices such as canes, walkers, or whatever?

I do occasionally use a cane. I have several. But I am too vain and have too much pride to use the cane regularly, although I really should.

I fell again last night. My DW found me stretched out in the yard.

[Kitty]

I don't think you caused a problem. If they were offended by you falling then I think it's them who have the problem.

Like Joelle said, it all depends on your relationship with them. Had it been my family.....well, laughing would be totally expected and I'd have probably made a joke about it myself. But if they did it out of meanness or to be hurtful then that was wrong.

It sounds to me like they're not sure how to react to your leaving early that night and don't want to cause further hurt feelings by bringing it up again. Maybe they feel you were embarrassed enough and don't want to put you through anymore uncomfortableness. I don't know your family so Im just guessing.

Was this your side of the family or your wife's? And....if you're falling more often then that's a sign you need to keep your cane or whatever assistance you have for walking close by. I know it's not what you want to hear but to avoid injury you should always have something close by to help you keep your balance.

[Blessings2You]

Hmmmm. I had issues at first about how I would "look" using my cane, my rolling walker (Speed Buggy) or my trekking poles. I'm not sure how I thought I'd look: old, crippled, weak, silly...who knows?

I decided however I felt or looked with a device, it wouldn't be any worse than I'd look sprawled out in a parking lot or store waiting for the ambulance to get there.

As I said, I've been there, so I'm not making light of your feelings about it. But please don't wait until you end up in the hospital with a broken bone or worse!

[Jules A]

I'd consider writing them a note and tell them that you were just feeling especially sensitive that evening. My family would also laugh and its not out of disrespect but just the way we are and as others have said sometimes it is a nervous reaction.

I have learned to laugh at myself and that works for me and seems to lighten the mood. I can only imagine how embarrassed you felt but I would guess by leaving it might have made them feel really uncomfortable. Anyone can fall! Personally I'd let bygones be bygones and try again if you feel up for it and if not at least definitely clear the air.

Wish you well with whatever you decide. Hugs.

[woodhaven]

His wife writes:

Kitty - Had this been from my side of the family, they would have gotten an ear full at the time. But, alas, they are his sisters.

B2Y - I stay on him all the time about using the cane, but to no avail. Were it me, I would not care what anyone thought about my using a cane if it helped me to stay on my feet and not flat out on the pavement.

Curious - my thoughts exactly. He owes them nothing.

Ali12 - How did you get so smart in only 13 years?

Joellelee2000 - Thank You.