The Stumble Inn The place for social chat for our M.S. community. The Stumble Inn


advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-31-2009, 05:21 PM #1
Jodylee's Avatar
Jodylee Jodylee is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,365
15 yr Member
Jodylee Jodylee is offline
Senior Member
Jodylee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,365
15 yr Member
Default Guilt: that useless emotion

My 89 year old year, dementia ridden Grandma passed away a couple of days ago. It was best for her and the family that it wasn't prolonged.

I feel guilty because I can't be at her service tomorrow. I'm physically not up for the 1000 mile trip to PA.

Worst of all, I realized that I have her wedding ring that I am positive that she would've wanted to be buried with. During the confusion after my mom's death last year my Dad gave my sister and me my mom's jewelry.
Somehow I ended up with my Gram's ring because my mom had been keeping it because of Gram's dementia.

My Aunt was trying to find it a few months ago when I figured out that the extra gold band in mom's stuff was the missing band. I planned on having my son take it with him to PA when he visits next month. My Dad didn't want me to mail it. Now I wish I had.

I know that my Aunt is probably torn up about this, I don't want to call her right now because it will just upset her more.

I understand, logically, this isn't my fault. Guilt sucks. I feel like it's something I should have thought of soon enough to overnight mail it.

I just needed to say this out loud, so to speak.
__________________
Multiple Sclerosis-Dx May 2007

.
Jodylee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Aarcyn (05-31-2009), AZjanie (05-31-2009), braingonebad (06-01-2009), Dejibo (05-31-2009), SallyC (05-31-2009), soxmom (06-01-2009)

advertisement
Old 05-31-2009, 06:07 PM #2
Aarcyn's Avatar
Aarcyn Aarcyn is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 1,776
15 yr Member
Aarcyn Aarcyn is offline
Senior Member
Aarcyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 1,776
15 yr Member
Default

I am sorry for your loss.

Honor her memory tomorrow and for all the rest of your life. I do not think your grandmother cared that the wedding ring was not on her finger.

Maybe, just maybe, the ring is supposed to be a loving remembrance to be passed to you or another member of your family.

Things can happen for a good reason.
Aarcyn is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
AfterMyNap (05-31-2009), braingonebad (06-01-2009), hollym (06-01-2009), Jodylee (06-01-2009), Twinkletoes (05-31-2009)
Old 05-31-2009, 06:14 PM #3
Kitty's Avatar
Kitty Kitty is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Deep South
Posts: 21,576
15 yr Member
Kitty Kitty is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
Kitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Deep South
Posts: 21,576
15 yr Member
Default

I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma.

I agree with Cyn.....things happen for good reasons sometimes. Maybe you were supposed to keep this ring with you. I know you can't help second guessing yourself sometimes but at least you know where the ring is.....and you know that your Grandma knows it's safe - in good hands.
__________________
These forums are for mutual support and information sharing only. The forums are not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.
Kitty is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Jodylee (06-01-2009), Twinkletoes (05-31-2009)
Old 05-31-2009, 06:29 PM #4
Twinkletoes's Avatar
Twinkletoes Twinkletoes is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Beautiful central Utah
Posts: 4,611
15 yr Member
Twinkletoes Twinkletoes is offline
Grand Magnate
Twinkletoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Beautiful central Utah
Posts: 4,611
15 yr Member
Default

Joellelee, I'm so sorry about your dear grandmother's passing.

I can't help but agree with Kitty and Aarcyn -- I hope you get to keep it as a way to remember her.
__________________
Rochelle
.



.


I've lost my mind ... and I don't miss it!


LIFE HAS NO REMOTE -- GET UP AND CHANGE IT YOURSELF!
Twinkletoes is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Jodylee (06-01-2009)
Old 05-31-2009, 06:57 PM #5
lady_express_44's Avatar
lady_express_44 lady_express_44 is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 3,300
15 yr Member
lady_express_44 lady_express_44 is offline
Grand Magnate
lady_express_44's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 3,300
15 yr Member
Default

Sorry to hear about your loss, Joellelee.

What about FedEx'ing it?

Cherie
__________________
I am not a Neurologist, Physician, Nurse, or Hairdresser ... but I have learned that it is not such a great idea to give oneself a haircut after three margaritas
.
lady_express_44 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Jodylee (06-01-2009)
Old 05-31-2009, 07:40 PM #6
Dejibo's Avatar
Dejibo Dejibo is offline
Elder
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 7,332
15 yr Member
Dejibo Dejibo is offline
Elder
Dejibo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 7,332
15 yr Member
Default

I am sorry for your loss, but have to agree. I think Grandma would be upset if you dragged yourself 1000 miles and got sick. I am sure she would prefer that you wear, love and cherish that ring instead of seeing it be buried and gone. This way she can live on in your heart with a reminder. Grandma are good at things like that.
__________________
RRMS 3/26/07
.

Betaseron 5/18/07
.

Elevated LFTs Beta DC 7/07
Copaxone 8/7/07
.



.
Dejibo is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 05-31-2009, 08:04 PM #7
karousel's Avatar
karousel karousel is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Webster, NY
Posts: 1,956
15 yr Member
karousel karousel is offline
Senior Member
karousel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Webster, NY
Posts: 1,956
15 yr Member
Default

I'm sorry for your loss. (((hugs)))
Don't feel guilty about not being able to go when you are not feeling up to it. Just make it a day of rememberance. I do agree with what others have written about the ring. Maybe you still have it for a reason - to have something of her to hold onto and pass on through the years.
karousel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Jodylee (06-01-2009)
Old 05-31-2009, 08:13 PM #8
SallyC's Avatar
SallyC SallyC is offline
In Remembrance
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: SW Ohio
Posts: 17,844
15 yr Member
SallyC SallyC is offline
In Remembrance
SallyC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: SW Ohio
Posts: 17,844
15 yr Member
Default

I am so sorry for yor loss..

The others are right, I think God may have wanted you to keep this ring as a rememberance of DG.
__________________
~Love, Sally
.





"The best way out is always through". Robert Frost



~If The World Didn't Suck, We Would All Fall Off~
SallyC is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Jodylee (06-01-2009)
Old 05-31-2009, 09:01 PM #9
AfterMyNap's Avatar
AfterMyNap AfterMyNap is offline
Wise Elder
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here. Duh.
Posts: 9,213
15 yr Member
AfterMyNap AfterMyNap is offline
Wise Elder
AfterMyNap's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Right here. Duh.
Posts: 9,213
15 yr Member
Default

Sorry for your loss, J. Cyn has the right idea, it's only stuff, the memories belong to the living.
__________________
—Cindy

For every day I choose to play,
I set aside a day to pay.
—AMN


"Sometimes plastic wrap just won't cling, no matter how much money you put in the meter."

—From the Book of True Wizdom

Last edited by AfterMyNap; 06-01-2009 at 03:41 PM.
AfterMyNap is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Jodylee (06-01-2009)
Old 06-01-2009, 06:27 AM #10
Jodylee's Avatar
Jodylee Jodylee is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,365
15 yr Member
Jodylee Jodylee is offline
Senior Member
Jodylee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,365
15 yr Member
Default

Thanks to all of you . I'm going to wear it today. We wore the same ring size.

As usual, you've made me feel much better about it all .
__________________
Multiple Sclerosis-Dx May 2007

.
Jodylee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Aarcyn (06-01-2009), AfterMyNap (06-01-2009), Dejibo (06-01-2009), hollym (06-01-2009)
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Emotion and Pain? Hope15 Peripheral Neuropathy 17 03-06-2009 02:49 AM
Molecules of emotion.... bizi Bipolar Disorder 0 06-10-2007 01:09 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:49 PM.

Powered by vBulletin • Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.7.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

NeuroTalk Forums

Helping support those with neurological and related conditions.

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only,
and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment
provided by a qualified health care provider.


Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.