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05-31-2009, 05:21 PM | #1 | |||
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My 89 year old year, dementia ridden Grandma passed away a couple of days ago. It was best for her and the family that it wasn't prolonged.
I feel guilty because I can't be at her service tomorrow. I'm physically not up for the 1000 mile trip to PA. Worst of all, I realized that I have her wedding ring that I am positive that she would've wanted to be buried with. During the confusion after my mom's death last year my Dad gave my sister and me my mom's jewelry. Somehow I ended up with my Gram's ring because my mom had been keeping it because of Gram's dementia. My Aunt was trying to find it a few months ago when I figured out that the extra gold band in mom's stuff was the missing band. I planned on having my son take it with him to PA when he visits next month. My Dad didn't want me to mail it. Now I wish I had. I know that my Aunt is probably torn up about this, I don't want to call her right now because it will just upset her more. I understand, logically, this isn't my fault. Guilt sucks. I feel like it's something I should have thought of soon enough to overnight mail it. I just needed to say this out loud, so to speak.
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05-31-2009, 06:07 PM | #2 | |||
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Senior Member
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I am sorry for your loss.
Honor her memory tomorrow and for all the rest of your life. I do not think your grandmother cared that the wedding ring was not on her finger. Maybe, just maybe, the ring is supposed to be a loving remembrance to be passed to you or another member of your family. Things can happen for a good reason. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | AfterMyNap (05-31-2009), braingonebad (06-01-2009), hollym (06-01-2009), Jodylee (06-01-2009), Twinkletoes (05-31-2009) |
05-31-2009, 06:14 PM | #3 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma.
I agree with Cyn.....things happen for good reasons sometimes. Maybe you were supposed to keep this ring with you. I know you can't help second guessing yourself sometimes but at least you know where the ring is.....and you know that your Grandma knows it's safe - in good hands.
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Jodylee (06-01-2009), Twinkletoes (05-31-2009) |
05-31-2009, 06:29 PM | #4 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Joellelee, I'm so sorry about your dear grandmother's passing.
I can't help but agree with Kitty and Aarcyn -- I hope you get to keep it as a way to remember her.
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Rochelle . . I've lost my mind ... and I don't miss it! LIFE HAS NO REMOTE -- GET UP AND CHANGE IT YOURSELF! |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Jodylee (06-01-2009) |
05-31-2009, 06:57 PM | #5 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Sorry to hear about your loss, Joellelee.
What about FedEx'ing it? Cherie
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Jodylee (06-01-2009) |
05-31-2009, 07:40 PM | #6 | |||
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Elder
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I am sorry for your loss, but have to agree. I think Grandma would be upset if you dragged yourself 1000 miles and got sick. I am sure she would prefer that you wear, love and cherish that ring instead of seeing it be buried and gone. This way she can live on in your heart with a reminder. Grandma are good at things like that.
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05-31-2009, 08:04 PM | #7 | |||
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Senior Member
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I'm sorry for your loss. (((hugs)))
Don't feel guilty about not being able to go when you are not feeling up to it. Just make it a day of rememberance. I do agree with what others have written about the ring. Maybe you still have it for a reason - to have something of her to hold onto and pass on through the years. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Jodylee (06-01-2009) |
05-31-2009, 08:13 PM | #8 | |||
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In Remembrance
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I am so sorry for yor loss..
The others are right, I think God may have wanted you to keep this ring as a rememberance of DG.
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Jodylee (06-01-2009) |
05-31-2009, 09:01 PM | #9 | |||
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Wise Elder
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Sorry for your loss, J. Cyn has the right idea, it's only stuff, the memories belong to the living.
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—Cindy For every day I choose to play, I set aside a day to pay. —AMN "Sometimes plastic wrap just won't cling, no matter how much money you put in the meter." —From the Book of True Wizdom Last edited by AfterMyNap; 06-01-2009 at 03:41 PM. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Jodylee (06-01-2009) |
06-01-2009, 06:27 AM | #10 | |||
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Senior Member
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Thanks to all of you . I'm going to wear it today. We wore the same ring size.
As usual, you've made me feel much better about it all .
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Multiple Sclerosis-Dx May 2007 . |
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