[Kitty]

One of my friends (and I use that term loosely) did me a "favor" as she put it.

She asked me if I'd go out with a friend of her boyfriend's. Only problem with this is......she told him I'd go before checking with me!!

Now this friend of mine has been with the same boyfriend for over 20 years. They've never married but they may as well be. I don't know why they haven't.....but it's working like it is now so I guess they figure why fix what's not broken.

Anyway, back to this "favor". I'm sure this man is very nice. She wouldn't fix me up with anyone who didn't pass her rigorous Quality Control checklist. Oh, and she said she told him about my "issue" and he said not to worry. "Issue"??? Is that what it's called now?

What is making me so fuming mad is that she basically set this whole thing up before asking me if I wanted to participate. And I don't!

I'm not "man-bashing" here but I just don't have the emotional energy to attempt this again. I've been let down one too many times and I just don't want to go through it again. My wall is up. I don't think anything can knock it down at this point. Whatever does will be a powerful force that has some divine intervention attached.

She cannot understand why I'm not excited about this. She is convinced that I'll feel better if I just "get out more" as she puts it. I've tried to explain things to her but it's like talking to a brick wall. She asked me "what am I supposed to tell him now?". I suggested the truth.

Any suggestions for me? I know she means well but she is about as far removed from my reality as it gets. She has no clue what my life is like now. Deep down I know her intentions are good. She just goes about things the wrong way.

I have a knot in my stomach now and it's making me mad that other people can have this kind of effect on me. I know I don't have to do anything I don't want to. How can she make me feel so guilty about something I had no part in??

I think I need to change my phone number..........

[Blessings2You]

You probably feel guilty (not that you should) because you truly believe she is well-intentioned.

One of my wise old friends has a saying: "God bless well-meaning people. And God **** well-meaning people." I know what she means.

Can you contact the guy yourself? Give him the "Look, it's nothing personal, my friend means well, blah blah blah" speech?

[Dejibo]

NOT FAIR!

Tell your friend your "issue" is acting up, and requiring that you be given PRIOR warning before being commited to actions of any kind.

Its nice to get out and meet new people, but not if you feel forced, or insulted into it. The tone will be set all wrong. Tell your friend that your "issue" requires that YOU be in charge of YOUR schedule, and you cannot allow others to make such plans for you.

I hope you are able to tell her how you feel.

[Kitty]

I've calmed down a bit since writing that post. I'm still mad, though.

You have to know this girl in order to really understand what I mean about how she is. She's one of those people who you know means well but whenever they try to be "helpful" it always comes out wrong.

She had the most dramatic reaction of anyone (even me) when I got my dx. You'd have thought they told me I was going to grow a third arm. I ended up consoling her.

I'm still trying to decide how to gracefully decline this invitation.

[Twinkletoes]

I don't blame you for being upset.

Why must you be "graceful" when declining this "invitation?"

[Blessings2You]

Because she's classy