I am so depressed.

My dad bought my mom a puppy yesterday. (friday) I had an allergic reaction to it (breathing issue) that my dad gave me a shot from an epi-pen for. No hives, so I dont know and dont think it was anaphylaxis.

We decided that maybe when he was at his breeder's home, they might have had cats around him a lot and might not have ever been bathed till we bought him. He was dirty enough that the water turned really dark when my aunt bathed him for us friday night.

Well, I started having the breathing problem again tonight (no more epi-pen) so my dad gave me an asthma inhaler. I've had some hits off of that tonight and it's helped some, but I still feel like I have problems breathing.

We're taking the puppy back tomorrow. Hopefully.

I just dont understand. I had dogs my entire life, and never had any allergy to them that I knew of. I suspected after my last dog died, since we got a puppy then, and I had an allergy reaction to that, and we decided to return that dog. We thought then, after that dog, that we might have acted too quicky, and thought that it was an allergy to shampoo he was bathed in, or that he'd been around cats. We bathed him with a hypoallergenic shampoo after we brought him home and I still had a reaction

But, I guess I am officially allergic to dogs. I just feel just like I did when TinyMonsters died 3yrs ago. I feel like my dog just died. I'm so disappointed that I have this stupid allergy. I LOVE dogs! I wanted to always have a dog. I guess I just cant do it. Cant even have a cat.

I think I'll go get a goldfish or something. Or I'll go crochet a dog or something. I'm so depressed about this. The puppy was so smart, and fun...and only TWO pounds! Who'd have thought that TWO pounds of puppy could set off such a big allergy in me.

I'm going to just go crawl into bed and cry. I guess I wont ever get another dog. No assistance dogs for me if I ever get so bad with my MS, I guess.

I feel bad for the puppy. He just seemed to latch onto us...especially me. I dont want to do this to him. But, if I cant breathe, I cant have a dog.

I'm going to go cry and hopefully sleep (if I can breathe) and feel like total pondscum for taking the puppy back.