So my DH and I went out to Lake Minnetonka for a lovely 3 hour dinner cruise as an activity for DH's job. It was a super nice, sunny evening and I was really looking forward to enjoying the "three hour cruise, three hour cruise" ....and then this guy fires up a big ol' stinky cigar before we even leave the docking area - YUCK! I was doing a good job of ignoring the stench as best I could, but when it was 45 minutes later...the smoke still swirling around the 20 or so people sitting on the back open-air deck, when it was announced that the dinner buffet was ready for us.

So I'm not one to need to be called twice for dinner, so we went downstairs to fill our plates, and then we went back upstairs to the deck to eat with the group we had been sitting with. Well the guy with the cigar kept puffing away and never went down for a plate. Well, I am very sensitive to strong odors and cannot tolerate them very well, and the smoke was getting really overwhelming and actually nauseating. Since it had now been about 1 hour into the cruise, and I wanted to eat my food..... so I got up my nerve and walked over to the man and asked him very politely if he would be so kind to extinguish his cigar, at least while we are eating our meals? He looks at me, and then looks at his cigar...puts it back into his mouth, looks at me again and says "well, yup....in about a 1/2 hour, 45 minutes" I was quite frankly shocked! I really am not one to be so forward or assertive, however I got up the nerve to stand up for my rights, Dammit! Obviously it back-fired!

I never did see the guy go down for dinner. I did manage to eat some of my dinner, but really did not feel so well. I just hate being so sensitive! Sitting inside was not an option since it was way too hot in there, sitting up in the front of the boat was out, since there were no places to sit. It was a big bummer.

The cigar was finally smoked down to nothing by about 8:50...just in time for the boat to dock at 9:05pm! I wish the smoking ban would include any area in which people gather.......

What would you have done?

I guess I'd have asked him exactly the same way that you did, and then when he didn't comply... my DH would have one over to him and told him, rather than asked him, to put it out while people ate.

By then I'd have been so embarrassed I'd have taken my plate and headed back inside and eaten in the heat anyway, just so I didn't have to put up with the stench.

That's just me, but everyone is different and I know others will have handled it differently.

I'd have tossed him overboard.

I wish my DH would have gone up to the guy too, however he avoids confontation like it's the plague!

Was there anyone in charge of the dinner cruise? An employee of the company or someone who was hired to oversee the event? They might have been able to convince the man to put out the cigar.

He sounds like an arrogant, ignorant person who likes to push others around. If I'd had the nerve I'd have grabbed it out of his mouth and put it in a glass of water!

Oh dear, this is one of those cases where my friends and family get mortified at the moment and end up telling the story hundreds of times.

I would have stood up, demanded the attention of the entire party and would have conducted a show of hands as to whether anyone else was nauseated by the neanderthal's obviously poor breeding. If I got a good response, I'd have continued with an open floor inviting suggestions to correct the problem.

I would have ended with a loud "all in favor of..." using any of the most abusive suggestions generated by the discussion. In other words, I would have shifted virtually the entire party's negative attention on the one man.

It was probably your DH's company president!

Politely ask him from my wheelchair, eyes all innocent (c'mon. I grew up with guys) "Is that stink you or the cigar?" (Guys don't punch little women in wheelchair, do they?)

I would have found someone who was with the management, and asked that they MOVE HIM, to a more secluded area of the boat, as to offend as few people as possible. If he didnt come for the dinner, did he just come to puff his cigar in a public space?

Now that you are home, I would WRITE a nasty letter to the company that sponsored the tour, and tell them that you had a horrible time, and NONE of their employees bothered to help this man find a better place to be. That you felt trapped, and saturated so much by the smoke that you were not able to enjoy your meal, and went home green, and nauseous. I would ask for either a refund, or a replacement tour. Make sure you tell them which one would satistfy your needs.

Me? I am a loud mouth, and have NO issue with standing up for myself. I would have told the man what an *** he was, and baited him into becoming aggressive. Then the staff would have had no choice but to deal with him. Cigars STINK on their best day, make me nauseous on their worst. Why should YOUR seat be less valueable than his? Why should HIS comfort come before yours? If he wasnt eating, was he an employee? Was he the security man? if so I would eat that place alive. Uncalled for, and I would make a large stink. bigger than any cigar can make, thats for sure.

Man smoking a cigar? um, no, havent seen him in a while...I did hear a splash about a mile back though, perhaps he went for a swim? (smile innocently)

I would have vomited all over his shoes..

Maybe if by going to management they would have brought out a table and chairs for you in a quiet non smoked filled area and you would have had a romantic private dinner cruise!