[gibbrn]

Ok guys need to vent hard core!!!

between our wsib...comp and insurance and doctors and the mess of being tossed out on my *** by my so called "family" (not even GOING THERE) and having to think about packing for our move to Calgary in two weeks ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

ok I am feeling the smoke coming out of my ears!!! I can't take the pain, the stress of regular life nevermind all the rubbish inbetween like comp and the docs.....I have had it up the top of my head not that I could put my damn hand there to show you where I am anyhow!!!! oh this had better get better after the move.

I can't take anything!!!!! little things make me blow my lid...ok so not me I can keeep it together in a hurricaine..not that I have had to well life wise yes, but what ya'll put up with in Fla...no way.....anyhow I feel so sorry for my guy....even got my nails put on never had fake ones...acrylic but love them and will never go to real nails never really had real ones anyhow....can't feel good might as well look good!!!!! LOL!!!!!!!!!!

Poor Marc (DH ...or soon to be why nails were done...) but not that he would want to be with me the total witch with a b that I a being to him....Everything is huge to me...ok need perspective but too much stress to get that back...shower in the am??? what is that go out and shop for groceries??? nope, clean...hhahahahhahahahahah damn life!!! too bad i love life this much and have good support and a guy with arms as wide as the world he holds me and I forget all, but he is so busy with projects two works to be published one a masters thesis and then work on top of the job in Calgary and dealing wiht the move.....

at least I set up our cable, phone, internet, gas, hydro and water for the move...so we won't have soggy icecream....priorities.....lol.....I can laugh, but not enough these days all little things set me off like a cannon!!!!!!!!

ok feeeling a little better now after this vent, just can't feel my face and my arm is like a burning hellish piece of meat that doesn't belong to me!!!!

love ya'll.....
thanks for listening(reading).....
love and hugs to all and by the way I am in need of some myself so am starting a collection please send them my way and I don't care if you can't get your arms around me just put your hand on my ....whatever decent part you can reach...lol. or forehead to forehead that actually is very soothing try it with someone.... love to you all,
Victoria
xo

[beth]

Victoria,

Consider yourself hugged (gently, of course!)!! And head-patted, back-rubbed, and "ahh-there'd", too! Here, have a Kleenex, wipe your eyes, and take a deep breath, girlfriend, ok? Feeling a tiny bit better, I hope??

That was the compassion, here's the wisdom: for the next several weeks, your mantra should be, "Remember, this too, shall pass!" Recite on getting up in the morning and repeat as necessary throughout the day whenever things start to fray your nerves of steel (er, Rubbermaid? Nylon? Jell-O? Whatever TOS'ers nerves are made of! LOL!)

You've seen that list of life stressors before haven't you, the one that rates the biggest life events and how much stress they place on people? You're dealing with several of them all at once, no wonder you're frazzled! Besides the chronic pain/workman's comp issues already on your plate, you've been living in less than an ideal situation for months, been verbally abused and thrown out of your home. You've had to move yourself without advance notice and little help, and before you soon-to-be-dh had planned on, when I assume some or most of his project madness would have been over, am I right? Now you face another move very soon and a wedding - it's enough to make anyone scream at the next "little thing" added to it, honestly!

So... the mantra thing! And look how far you've already come! Visualize the future when your soon-to-be dh really IS your DH!! (And projects are done!) When the move is completed and your great new life in Calgary is everything you dreamed! You have good reason to be excited! Refuse to let anyone rain on your parade!

OK, now the advice...didn't think you'd get by without that, did you? You need to make this more manageable - people who move have to be organized. TOS'ers who move have to be doubly so. At least we get out of heavy lifting Label a sheet of paper with the day of the week for each day remaining til the move, then make a list of all tasks remaining to be done 1) in Kingston and 2) in Calgary. Tell Marc he HAS to eat, and over a quick meal (deli? Chinese?), look over the list together. Try to prioritize by date, what tasks he will take on, which you can do, and which friends/relatives may assist with (helping load/unload moving van or unpack boxes, etc) Write each task on the day it needs to be done, along with who is going to do it (use blue for him, red for you, etc), then make a copy of these pages for him, maybe a third to post on the fridge or by the phone. Seeing each task crossed off as it is done will help you feel more in control.

Take time to give yourself a little TLC since Marc can't at the moment. Take a bubblebath - add some Epsom salts for those aching muscles. If you have errands to run, take a cappachino break. Break up cleaning or packing sessions with 15 minutes of floor time, either stretching and nerve glides or meditation to some soft, warm music. And surely you and Marc can come up with some interesting "payment" for each time you lose your grip - it ought to be fun just discussing the possibilities, doncha think??

These things WILL get done. You WILL get moved. You WILL get married. WC and the Drs will NOT jump off a cliff, unfortunately. But we will still be here, and we will still love ya, sane or otherwise, LOL!

Many, many cyber-hugs,
beth

[Jomar]

Beth if I ever have to move will you help me organize??
awesome suggestions!

Victoria HUGS and more for you-

Beth said it so well I don't have anything to add.

[ocgirl]

{{{{{{Victoria}}}}}

[astern]

Poor, poor baby!!!!!

Everything I was going to say, Beth said already. But I will add... that getting married, and all the stress that comes with that, is enough to make the happiest of normal people go bonkers. But you have so much more on your plate being a TOSser and having a wonky family. You have to cut something loose. Even if it's just forcing your mind to (example) "not think about my parents". Just for today.

Yeah, I hate that feeling that I can't do anything. I get so down on myself. But as you pointed out yourself, look at what you CAN do... organizing a move, staying on top of the comp case without losing your mind or giving up, you ARE doing valuable things! And how lucky you are to have your DH's mile-wide hugs. Do anything possible to keep from being a b to him. Put yourself in time out, smack a stuffed animal around, scream into your pillow.

Love ya vic,
Anne

[gibbrn]

and it is because you guys all rock....thanks for the kind words and all the advice beth....sort of needed a kick in the pants and have nobody here to do it Marc is too busy....anyhow.....did the bubblebath last night felt better going to bed...still in pj's at 11 15, but will get that delt with when finished w/ bfst and email checking....have to get my hair and nails done....ok I know priorities but I figure if I make myself feel better then I can do things more effectively.??? Hope so. Plus I can vent to my hairdresser as well!!!! oh you guys are all the best with your hugs and love.....what would I do without ya'll.....

much love,
Victoira

[dawn3063]

I am so sorry for everything going on.. It seems like when it "Rains It Pours"
Many Hugs
Dawn

[anonymous_no_more]

g,
Enjoy the "stress" of "getting ready" for a new life.

If you can, try to let go of the hurt/anger towards those that did not support you when you needed it most.

I don't have much [to offer] when it comes to dealing with insane medico/legal systems, but that is also a reason to pull yourself out of that main "hornet's nest", so that you can see things with clearer eyes.

These kinds of dysfunctional relationships can occur in any "family", and when things take a turn for the worse, they cannot be counted on. It is nothing personal, sometimes, some people are just not capable of "support" or unconditional love, even when they are the people we think should be the ones to offer it (the people that gave us life).

It sounds like the "family" you are heading towards is the one to cling to. Walk away (from the old one) and don't look back.

Reward your love and kind heart to someone (your soon to be DH) who clearly will return that love in kind.

Walk away, don't turn back, and embrace what you are heading towards.

[gibbrn]

ok so offical move date is aprill 23!!!! AHHH aside from packing my crystal and my jewelery I think I will have someone do the packing after all I can still point my finger!!!! this goes here....that goes there.....lol
ok so have my hair and nails done tomorrow...can't get out of my pj's soon as there is a major prob with out hot water in the apt and not only does it look a lovely shade of brown....ok old pipe bits and iron and calcium....got it .....i did after all replumb my entire house when I lived in the country!!! it was crummy but fun!! all b4 injury of course imagine b eing upside down and turned sideways to get the brazing torch into the pipe after the flux goes on and the solder is in one hand and the pipe in the other....lit no less...ok......enough rant rant rant maybe I do need a psych consult!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyhow got some things delt with my car goes to Calgary thursday....groceries tonight or no food...lol!!!

called union, called comp.....got a nice little package from them to go for a non economic loss assesment, they know i am leaving on may 1 and now I have to wait 6-8 weeks for this thing I DONT THINK SO BUMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

more stress and frustration so only worry about packing the crystal, the Scotch and important jewelery.....those and of course dh are my priorities.....anything else...oh yeah my baby cat (10 y/old) still my baby.....needs vet before flying!!!!!

thanks again love ya'lll!!!!!
love and hugs,
Victoria

[Caladium]

I haven't been online in awhile, too busy with apts. and keeping up at home. I am not current with all that is going on, but want to take you up on your offer to send a hug your way! I am so sorry that there is so much happening right now for you; it does sound over whelming!

I think the others have said everything (and more!) that I could have thought of to suggest. I do think the mantra, and keeping your focus on the positives of what is ahead for you are great suggestions, and then the pampering ...ah yes...pampering... did anyone suggest chocolate???

Hang tite Darlin'! It really will pass...

Cala