[LosingHope]

I really hate feeling like an "invalid" and I've done my best to not impose on friends and family when I'm laid up, especially considering that, after surgery in two weeks, I'll have little choice but to impose on them a lot.
But I've come to realize that, while everyone is quick to say "Let me know if you need anything!" or "I'll be happy to help however I can," none of them really mean it. You want to know if someone will really help you out? Ask them to mow the lawn, or help you restrain your dog for her arthritis injection and ear medication. Or ask them to pick up some groceries for you when they are picking up theirs - you'll be amazed the excuses you get "Oh, my husband's doing the shopping and he won't get the right things for you," "I know I said I'd call but I forgot and I just went shopping and I won't be back on that side of town for ages! Sorry!" or "Oooh, I would, but we've planned to spend the whole weekend just relaxing at the house and I'd hate for you to have to wait, so maybe you should call someone else..."
It's like everyone wants to get credit for making the offer, but no one wants to make good on it. I wish they wouldn't even offer if they aren't sincere. Any one know how this feels?

[brmr19]

I totally know that. You really find out who your true friends are when you have time of need. I had numerous people offer to help out, but I already knew the ones I could count on. I am very lucky to have a great relationship with some of my siblings and a couple of close friends that are more like family. I have always offered help to others, and I never back tracked on my offer.

[Jomar]

Nothing worse than fair weather friends...

[nospam]

Originally Posted by LosingHope

It's like everyone wants to get credit for making the offer, but no one wants to make good on it.

Bingo, its like a reflex people have when they don't know anything else to say.

[heybro]

Vent anytime!

[Laur3d]

I'm so sorry! I know exactly what you mean. I unfortunately have lost a 7 year friendship during this. It's challenging bc they don't understand you physically and medically are unable. These people are not worth the stress- which will just cause you more pain too! I then had good acquaintance who has become one of my best friends. I had a stick shift, which my mother who flew in for help couldn't drive. My "new" friend traded me cars for two weeks so we could get to appt and such. The cream of the crop will rise, and it just sucks no one really gets it. Hopefully they never have to go through something so debilitating.