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-   -   Horrific slander and hate in PM's (https://www.neurotalk.org/thoracic-outlet-syndrome/24995-horrific-slander-hate-pms.html)

johannakat 07-31-2007 09:14 PM

Neurotalk has been so good to me!!!!
 
This IS a very supportive, caring special place. I feel lucky every day to be able to come here for the support and understanding that makes me feel like I am not crazy or alone. I try to offer as much as I take, though I am not sure I succeed in that.

I hope very much that it stays that way. Judgment, harassment, and attack do not belong here-either public or in PM. If we feel very strongly that someone is on the wrong path, we can let them know, we can even let them know with strong words...but always in a CARING SUPPORTIVE way. (advice from the heart, as Victoria would say)

The most important thing I have learned by being injured is COMPASSION for fellow humans. I am amazed that SO MANY people struggle with problems and conditions even though they look "fine" to everyone else. Having the patience to practice this compassion by being kind to people is SO HARD when we, ourselves, feel so lousy each and every day- but for cryin' in the sink (Alison's phrase!)- we already fight the doctors, PT's, employers, lawyers, and insurance companies for proper treatment- we DEFINITELY should not be fighting amongst ourselves.

Every forum member should look inside themselves and examine their own personal reasons for being on this forum- it is a wonderful place for sharing support and information. If that is not your goal, perhaps you should look for another forum to frequent.

I love all of you, and look forward to many more thoughtful conversations about TOS and all that goes with it.

Johanna

DiMarie 07-31-2007 10:44 PM

My thought
 
Never put anything in a PM you do not feel comfortable placing on the forum to all to see.

IF you have a personality issue use the ignore feature.

But, remember, Vic especially in CA, Internet laws are very strong. A person in Canada sending harassing, slander, or threatening contacts via the Internet can face strong felony charges.

The U.S. is catching up. Stalking my the INternet is a Felony in PA.

BUT, I do think the ignore feature is not the answer for most cases. Personaility issues perhaps, but once personal contact is made or a threat it becomes a different story. This is a secondary action, taken from the public view, under the guise of anonymity and is criminal harassment.

I am not sure what NT guidlines are for slanderous thretening contact is but, at minimal the person is on radar, warned of future sanctions, by the second harassing contact an action utilized.
I guess Doc John gives a lot of credit to us to take care of things ourself or contact an moderator to help.....But moderators, really the ignore feature is only useful in a personality issue, not when further contacts are made.

I hope peace and the event is over and no more future problems for you.
Di

redjpwranglergirl 08-01-2007 12:21 AM

Honestly, and this is just MY opinion, and I'm not an advocate of bannings (especially after how "another place" was run), and I'm also not trying to tell anybody how NT should be run:D , but frankly, I think anybody who sends that kind of vicious, hateful stuff (and as DiMarie said, isn't willing to say it in an open forum) by PM should be banned- at least for a time period and if it happens the second time, you're outta here.....I suspect that the people who would do this probably want to sound all "sweety sweet" on the forum and want everybody to think that's how they really are when that's definitely not always the case.

Chemar 08-01-2007 06:43 AM

Rest assured we have taken care of this issue from the admin end

Although we always suggest that personal disputes be kept off the boards and taken to PM, that does NOT mean we will permit the NT private messaging system to be used for harassment or threats etc

The guidelines apply to PMs as well as posts AND emails sent via the NT system
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=1293

If anyone has received PMs or emails via the NT system that are threatening or harassing, or in anyway a violation of the Guidelines, they can forward them to us and we will investigate and if needed, act promptly with appropriate suspension or warning

Reporting posts or PMs to us is the fastest way to get action!

We usually prefer to keep admin issues off the boards, but as this matter has been open here, we are addressing it openly

I would also just like to remind everyone that even when you may not see responses from us on the board over issues, we ARE working on them! We just prefer to try to keep the forums running without disruption, and so tend to work these issues in the background, via PM.

I hope this assures everyone that we are ever watchful and alert here, and that we do take swift action when needed

gibbrn 08-01-2007 09:26 AM

Holy Smokes
 
You guys are all so amazing.....love and amazingly huge hugs to you all:grouphug: !!

I am so glad i said something this is obviously an issue that needed to be discussed.

I am not really that hurt as I know that this is what it is....attempts to enrage some people......that being said I was courteous and straightforward and me....what else can I be!!!!LOL!!

but THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your support and your neverending knowlage for myself and others. We are an amazing group and will continue to be so no matter the circumstances!!!

love and hugs to all and to all a good day!!
Victoria:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

redjpwranglergirl 08-01-2007 04:55 PM

Oh Chemar, I wasn't implying that ya'll here at NT wouldn't do anything about this kind of thing- I knew you would- as opposed to how things were/are run at "another place"! Even though we all might not always agree on the different forums, things seem to run alot smoother here and be alot more "well-mannered" because it's been proven here, as far as I'm concerned, that along with treating us like intelligent adults, IF the mods/admin need to step in for whatever reason that "punishments" (and I use that only because I can't think of another word- brain dead I guess:D ) are meted out fairly and not by who you are or who you kiss up to- also, as is/was at "another place".

DiMarie 08-01-2007 10:36 PM

Stalking and harassment laws
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Chemar (Post 131129)
Rest assured we have taken care of this issue from the admin end

Although we always suggest that personal disputes be kept off the boards and taken to PM, that does NOT mean we will permit the NT private messaging system to be used for harassment or threats etc

The guidelines apply to PMs as well as posts AND emails sent via the NT system
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=1293

I hope this assures everyone that we are ever watchful and alert here, and that we do take swift action when needed

That is wonderful reassurance Chemar,
When you don;t stay up to date on how things can be handled at minimal we know that the PM can not be missused.

I know that the mods are reachable, take time to decide an appropriate action, but above all have been earning their wings keeping things under a watchful and unbiased eye of late on the forums...Must be the heat!.

I did want to point out to Victoria that because she is in Canada, if she receives the harassing or threatening Internet contact, that their jurisdiction is seriously criminal and through the IP the offender could have extremly serious repricussions for what they thought was speaking their peace.

Anti-bulling in Canada, especially in the US post Coluimbine is extremly serious.

There have been teens harassed that have gone into schools and shot classmates, and have taken their own lives.
Not only by IM's, PM's, cell phones and myspace pages that can harass poor unsuspecting victims.

We as parents have to be so aware what goes on with our teens anymore.

I know that in my employment, the thick men with PFA's against them, don't think it is a violation to sent a text message, as it is not a personal contact DUH!!!!
On idiot last week did not like how the support hearing went and text it to the wife with PFA!!!!
THANKS MS C
Dianne

phoebe 08-01-2007 10:45 PM

Victoria,
 
You've never said a word on this forum or obt that isn't positive, supportive to others and kind. You have also let us into your life and let us share ours with you. We love you. hugs... phoebe:)

LisaL-TOS 08-01-2007 11:42 PM

I rarely get here any more but from time to time, I will peek back in. :) Sorry this happened to you Victoria.

I received two hostile/nasty PM's on the old BT forum. I reported them to JL and the Mods there and nothing was done. Those same two people are now on this forum. Nothing surprises me anymore. I am immuned. Personally, I feel forums should be open and no PM's allowed.

Lisa

dreambeliever128 08-03-2007 09:32 AM

Hi everyone,
 
I was on the old braintalk forum for years and I saw a case where the law had to be brought in for threats of bodily harm. JL helped get it done.

I give credit to both forums for how they are being ran. It is not a competition of who runs the best forum. Some people are on both forums and many others along with chat rooms.

They are stuck in the home most of the day and have to have a way to reach out to people and this is their way. Even though they might have family and friends, people on these forums are walking in our shoes so therefore people come here to talk to people who have things in common.

I agree with DiMarie, warnings at time do nothing. Sometimes we have people on forums that are born with the bullying in them. That don't just go away without councelling. Bullys don't always go away after just one warning either. It's like they don't see that they are wrong at all so they proceed in what they think is right.

We do have some great people on this forum and I have seen a lot of support lately with what I delt with. People can read between the lines also and I sometimes wonder if the bullies see that.

I too am sorry that you delt with such issues and I hope it's not effecting your health anymore then what you are already dealing with.

Ada


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