[tshadow]

This AM, I was at the end of my rope. 6 1/2 years of constant pain does have its' moments of just utter despair, and well, hopelessness...

So today I called on one of us, a TOSer from this board, and she was able to share some new treatments she was trying, and she didn't get mad at me when my voice cracked and I shared that I was "at the end of my rope." She knew what I meant - neither of us, and I think this is true of all us, because we are such hard workers and Type A's, we wouldn't really harm ourselves to that point, but sometimes, it sure feels scary...

And we are so fortunate to have this board, so that we can call eachother at those critical times, and share thoughts and feelings that outsiders just can't appreciate as much.

So I'm "ok" tonight...crisis feelings passed, thanks to my friend whom I have never met in person, but I feel so close to after years of sharing this illness, ideas, strengths, possible theories as to what we might do next to cure ourselves, doctors' info., kid stuff / parenting while sick, and so much more.

I wish all of you on the board could have a TOS meeting (as we used to in OC) and meet eachother in person. We are all such GREAT people. I've said this before, I am always so surprised to see how talented, attractive, and generous the group is. And it helps so much to see the TOS in others, as within minutes, you can visually see - "oh, this person is so much like me, I am not alone in this illness / injury / disease / syndrome." It helps take away ALL of those doctors' mean comments that so many of us have suffered.

Thanks, sweet friend, you know who you are.

Don't hesitate to reach out when / if you need another TOSer!

[gibbrn]

dear Tam,
oh i am so glad you reached out to someone and did not go as far as I did in my end of my rope feelings. I am glad you spoke to a fellow toser who helped and understood....I too am amazed at our strength when we put our hearts and heads together.......we ARE an amazing group of people.
I feel your pain and send love and prayers your way!

much love and many hugs,
Victoria:g rouphug:

[tshadow]

And on top of all

YOU"RE PRETTY#######

[gibbrn]

hey Tam,

hope you are feeling better today
I am thinking of you...esp today had my weekly visit with my psychologist.
she told me about a site called happiness.com and it is to try to make you....come on you can guess.....yeah yeah happier!! I have not been yet but she says it is great and I am gonna check it out tomorrow if i have the time. I think you are supposed to go everyday and do things....like a 15 min exercise....not sure but anyhow may be ALL of us should be doing it as I'm sure with pain we could all use a little more happiness instead of the female doggyness....

You are in my prayers and know you are loved!!! Marc still remembers you as the lady who called in the airport!! Cali visit 2007!! Thanks again for that!!!!!

love and hugs,
Victoria

[olecyn]

Thats what is ALL about.

Put ur right foot in, right foot out & shake it all about. Ok, I'm being silly. Victoria & I are in bed together tonight.

On a serious note Tam, your smart & I'm happy to hear you reached out. This is the place where all dreams come true just like DIsneyland. We meet all kinds of people & friendships forever. Links to NT on website is coming. If I can get them to make this weeks changes.

I've gotta get off, my hands are so swollen, throbbing & in pain. Geesh....

[gibbrn]

you are a naughty girl...that will be taken out of context....well so long as a few people laugh so much the better!!!! Made us laugh.....
the story goes......Cyndy and I were both in our OWN beds, hers where she lives in the the place I'd love to live...and me in my freezing cold Calgary, AB Canada bed......just at the same time emailing back and forth so I quickly said...he we're in bed together.... Just so she'd laugh!!!

love to you all,
v

[LinJane]

I have stayed away from this site for a while now due to a few factors. I believe I felt if I ignored what was happening to me it would go away. If I talked about it it would make it more real than I wanted. Foremost I am a mother of 4, owner of a business that I must be active in, and deal with a home where I do not get much help.

I have now been diagnosed with RSD and told I need Ketamine infusions. My husbands first reaction was very supportive. That lasted 1, maybe 2 days. He fired my office personel and I now work full time. As you all know, getting out of bed is a challenge each morning. I am tired of my husband's reaction to the amount of pain meds I NEED to get up each day, get kids off to school, do laundry and go to work. He is diabetic and having issues of his own. But, when I get up at six and he sleeps until noon, it does not make for a happy day.

I really appreciate being able to come back to this site. I know you are all there for the same reason. To support each other and offer any insite to how to deal with this monster.

I guess I need to go on the RSD site also now to get some info but I hope I will always be welcome here also.

Thanks, and I wish all a pain free day!! Linda

[Curious]

I am so sad to read this Linda.

Gentle gentle

You are welcome everywhere on NT.

I so know what it's like to have spouse that doesn't understand pain. All you can do is try and educate and then just take care of yourself. Delegate as much as you can. When he doesn't have clean underwear..he'll get the hint.