[tshadow]

This AM, I was at the end of my rope. 6 1/2 years of constant pain does have its' moments of just utter despair, and well, hopelessness...

So today I called on one of us, a TOSer from this board, and she was able to share some new treatments she was trying, and she didn't get mad at me when my voice cracked and I shared that I was "at the end of my rope." She knew what I meant - neither of us, and I think this is true of all us, because we are such hard workers and Type A's, we wouldn't really harm ourselves to that point, but sometimes, it sure feels scary...

And we are so fortunate to have this board, so that we can call eachother at those critical times, and share thoughts and feelings that outsiders just can't appreciate as much.

So I'm "ok" tonight...crisis feelings passed, thanks to my friend whom I have never met in person, but I feel so close to after years of sharing this illness, ideas, strengths, possible theories as to what we might do next to cure ourselves, doctors' info., kid stuff / parenting while sick, and so much more.

I wish all of you on the board could have a TOS meeting (as we used to in OC) and meet eachother in person. We are all such GREAT people. I've said this before, I am always so surprised to see how talented, attractive, and generous the group is. And it helps so much to see the TOS in others, as within minutes, you can visually see - "oh, this person is so much like me, I am not alone in this illness / injury / disease / syndrome." It helps take away ALL of those doctors' mean comments that so many of us have suffered.

Thanks, sweet friend, you know who you are.

Don't hesitate to reach out when / if you need another TOSer!