[Peg24]

The other day a young girl asked me how it felt being old.
I was taken aback, for I do not think of myself as old. Upon seeing my
reaction, she was immediately embarrassed, but I explained that it was an
interesting question, and I would ponder it, and let her know.

Old Age, I have decided, must be a gift.

I am now, probably for the first time in my life, the person I have always
wanted to be. Oh, not my body! I sometimes despair over my body, the
wrinkles, the rolls,
the baggy eyes, and the sagging butt. And often I am in shock by that
older
person that I see in my mirror (who looks like my mother!), but I don't
agonize over those things for long.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, my loving
family
for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I believe I have become more kind
to
myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.
I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my
bed,
or for buying that silly flower arrangement that I didn't need, but looks so
great on my piano. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be
extravagant.
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they
understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4
AM
and sleep until noon?

I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60&70's and 80's, and if

I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love , I will.

I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging
body,
and I will dive into the waves like I did as a teenager if I choose to, despite the
pitying
glances from the jet set.

They, too, will get older.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as
well forgotten. I do though, eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not
break
when you lose someone you love, or when a child suffers, or even when
somebody's
beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength
and
understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile
and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to be living long enough to have my hair turning gray (even though I color it),
and
to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.

So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could
turn
silver.

As I get older, I see it is easier to be more positive. You care less about what
other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the
right
to be wrong.

So, to answer her question, I think I like getting older. It has set me free. I like
the person I have become.
I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not
waste
time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I
shall eat dessert every single day. (If I feel like it)



Peggy