Tam,

You know you're right - I TRIED so darn hard to answer those questions!
WHY? Because I guess I'm still type A when it comes down to it - even though it works against me. And I feel SO bad when I mentally blank out on things that used to be right there, come easy for me - that's worse for me in some ways than the physical limitations cause there ARE ways to work around the physical limitations, with assistance.

But how do you get around sudden blank spaces where words just won't come, or saying a completely wrong word for the one you intended? Or the attention span of a 4 year-old? Fatigue so heavy you have no motivation to do anything, even with friends, cause it sounds like too much bother? I have almost no short-term memory ability, it's just shot. I used to always be the navigator, I had such great directional ability - can't do it now, can't "see the way" anymore. And the more I try to do these things, the worse it is - my head just aches trying to do what used to come easy.

The physical disability and pain are not easier, but somehow more acceptable, I guess, as a result of a injury or illness. These other changes are more frightening to me, because they are changes to the person INSIDE the physical body, and I worry about what they mean. I am NOT the same person I was, and not just physically, but mentally as well. And that has NEVER really been addressed. It's not just meds either, as these changes were evident after the injury when I went off all pain meds for several months. Along with the balance problems, vision blurring, gallbladder problems and re-curring kidney/bladder issues;these last three conveniently appeared after injury but "aren't related to it" - vision and gallbladder are age-related even though I had NO problems prior. I just don't buy it, as I was always so healthy and had great vision.

The BIG frustration is, of course, that there is no Dr who takes a whole body view and tries to figure out what is going wrong with the entire SYSTEM, but each looks only at their niche specialty, so the puzzle remains in pieces, and never gets put together. Grrrr! Dr Welby, where are you now??

Will know more Friday I hope. I do see Dr tomorrow, will ask about the testing, sleep problems, and progression of left-side TOS pain and atrophy.

beth

Finz - I did take a pillow to rest my arm onas I knew it would be at least 2 hours. Dr Togut wd be happy with that! Took my meds before I came, and I did drive myself. He noted particularly I was on Oxycontin, which wd disqualify me from a lot of employment I believe. I did have major pain in the trap triggerpoints and splitting headache after the mental workout, believe me. Will be sure to ask Dr tomorrow to document that, as well as the delayed effects - I didn't get to mention that. Thanks!