Wow you have a lot on your plate my dear!! Keep your cool as I said and just take your breaks and pace pace pace!!

I hope you enjoy all your events and things are wonderful for you and your family!!

great idea on your butterflies!! I suggested them to my g/f and she loved the idea!!!!

take care
much love and many hugs,
Victoria

The butterflies were such a hit we are going to order more. It was such an experience to watch them from the first to last stages. I really did get attached to them!

Thing have been going well here. We had a little "discussion" the other day and he has been much better. We went out on a "date night" last night and had alot of fun. I think stress is just a major issue. I also, kind of turned the tables on him that I was in charge. He had been trying to make me feel inferiour(?) and I let him know that that was not happening.

Just trying to be happy like everyone else!

Hope everyone is having good weather. We have had rain in NJ for years!

Thanks, Linda

Hey linda,

just been reading through your situation and everyones kind response. Just thought i would give you a little view of my childhood in what sounds like a similar situation.

I grew up amongst parents at war - some children, like myself get very involved in ALL of the disputes and would almost say that i felt it was my duty to sort out my mum's arguments for her...think this was my coping mechanism. My younger brother on the other hand, only got involved if there was any physical violence - he did not want to talk about it, hear about it etc....i think that this was his coping mechanism. So im thinking with your daughter that she is similar to my brother in the way she is dealing with it. I do think that me getting involved so much has had a long lasting affect on my relationship with my dad - my brother seems to have a slightly better relationship with him as he kept his distance from it all.....

not sure which is best, but i do know that i suffered a lot of inner turmoil over the years due to my heavy involvement in my parents arguments. Who knows my brother may have too but just doesnt talk about it. But i havent turned out to be a fairly well rounded 27 year old and apart from the tos im content with my life.

My father sounds very similar to your husband and my mum lost all her friends over the early years of my childhood - she has no self worth and i do worry for her a lot when things arent good. But this is a burden i must bear as she is my mum. This topped with TOS pain must make life very, very hard to deal with so my thoughts are with you.

I wish you all the very best and you really need to get that counselling - go without him if - showing him you are not afraid to seek out help, may even loosen his controlling behaviour as you are regaining the control!!

Tracey,
If I didn't know better, I'd think you and I grew up in the same house....When I read Linda's original post it sent chills through me- because it was SO familiar (my dad, not my husband). I just didn't know if I should reply or not. But, I can say without a doubt that psychological/emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse and it can effect a person long after the abuse stops or after you're away from the abuser. I could write a book on this subject...

Good advice and comforting words from you both. I have seen my share of abuse in my younger years.

I came to realize that maybe it wasn't as bad as many, many others have it. I looked and found a lot of good out of both parents and hung on to those thoughts and then understood that part of my life/chapters were over and the rest of the book was for me to write. I left it all, good and bad, in those chapter and turned the page to a new chapter/new beginning.

My father passed on in 2006. We were there with him but there was distance. Wouldn't have been anywhere else just wished things had been different. I lay it at his feet now and go on writing my own book of life...

(Broken Wings)