Part Juan: "Serendipity"

(I can only write from my perspective, so if others want to chime in on how we met, please feel free. LOLOL)

on Sept 5th, 1998, I went and got a puter of my very own. I had been surfing on my friends' computers or webTV's and I was very envious of them.

On top of that, the time just always seem to go by so quickly and then you can hear them play the violins signaling that it is time for me to leave. I didn't wanted to wear out my welcome at my friends' places so I finally said to myself: enough's enough, I am going to get my own computer

*insert a silhoutte of a man with setting sun behind him with determination on his face and gritting his teeth while clenching his fist and there is a dude standing a little bit behind him dipping in his wallet with a grimace on his face. That would be moi...

I wanted to get an iMac, it's Bondi Blue (named after Australian's Bondi Beach) and one of the most beautiful things I had ever laid my eyes upon. I must have hugged it forever and cried in the middle of a crowded "Best Buy" when the store clerk "ahemed" behind me hinting that it was either get it or get the heckit outta there fake cough...

when the Mac sat on top of my dining room table (I didn't thought about buying a puter desk.....yet. Plus I didn't have a phone jack in my room at the time....YET...)The heavens opened up and I swore the angels sang in the background... it was a beauty...I wanted to pass out cigars to the whole neighborhood....

*sniff*sniff....OK where was I...

I set it up immediately with Earthlink and after the "ppfffffffffffffffffff...zzzzzzzzaaaaaaaaaahhh...d ing... ding...ding....sssssssszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......... "

I was on-line!! For the first time, in my own house!!

that awful annoying noise of my modem getting connected would become the noise that I looked forward to hearing the most on a daily basis...

the third thing that I did when I got on the internet, was to do a search on Tourette Syndrome.

Which was strange, actually...

I had gotten to a point in my life that I didn't even wanted to talk about Tourette Syndrome anymore....the daily reminder of whenever I'd get teased was enough for me.

I also had became "blinded" to it. Even though I had been helping a few kids in my area with in-service and maybe do a little bit of speeches here and there at their schools....

Even though I would inform myself with the latest researches from newsletters and such. TS just became something that I just didn't "see" anymore....

I think that was one of my first of transitions or metamorphasis that I needed into becoming who I am...

but still, it was a part of me for myself, that I DENIED(cause I was in transition) and I've always felt alone and that nobody really could understand what I was going through. I've only met two or three other adults with TS but both of them were reluctant to talk about it or even admit that they have TS. And the kids were simply too young for me to discuss my questions and problems with since they've already got so much challenges of their own...

So, there I was that night, on line...my first search was on Cyndi Crawford, but I must have typed in Crawdad for some reason and ended up learning a lot about crawfishes....so I would consider my second search crawfish...

then, I typed in Tourette Syndrome....

I followed the first link and it took me to the TSA website, which I was very familiar with, TSA the organization, that is. I'd never been on their websites but had been getting their newsletters (which DID mention that chatroom is available). I belonged to the foundation.

as I scrolled down their homepage, something grabbed my attention:

"Tourette Syndrom Chatroom"

Now, I kind of knew what a chatroom was and I'd heard a lot of bad stories about chatrooms already...but the curiosity got to the best of me
so I clicked on the link.

It then took me to the Massachusetts General Hospital's website and right into the Tourette Syndrome Chatroom...

there was a conversation going on already. So, I signed in and was immediately greeted with "hi, moi (I used a different name back then but will
just use "moi" here to avoid confusion)"

then it was followed by "LOL" (it was addressed to someone else, I am sure)

I then thought, wow...awesome, I am already being shown "Lots of Love (LOL)" How cool yet strange was that?

I typed a quick hi and LOL'ed back thinking, hey, one good lots of love deserves another...but then thought to myself, maybe this was why
they said chatrooms are dangerous..."LOL"

(I would later became notorious for using LOLOLOL because that is how I really am in real life... )

one of the names that was there that night was "Lara" (who's a member here)

I learned later that she's from Australia...I thought to myself,Australia? NEATO!!! I was talking to someone FROM Australia?? How awesome was that?

I was addicted immediately to the chatroom. I owned my little business back then and would stay on line all the time IN the chatroom besides work. I then
bought a used computer so I could get on line at work (the luxury of being the owner).

I couldn't believe that I was meeting so many people that either have TS or are related to TS in one form or another. A lot of them were concerned
relatives or parents, but a lot of them were TSers, JUST LIKE ME!!

It's like I'd felt all alone in this world for so long now, yet NOW, there were people, JUST LIKE ME, that admitted that they have TS and actually wanted to to talk about it!!

It's like finding water in the desert...

there were some folks that were even from other chatrooms that were kind of empty so they would join us, like da duck (well, she was there way before I was....LOL)

But that didn't mattered, everyone was welcomed..and it was always fun in the chatroom. It was a place to unwind and just chill with folks that
actually KNEW what it meant to have Tourette Syndrome and whatever else that was included...and if they didn't, they didn't care and they learnt what it was and gave their own input on it...

we all became a tight knit community/family...

a couple of days after I joined the chatroom, somebody mentioned about a national convention...for TSers...

it was going to happen in Washington D.C. in October..

there were so many talks about who was going and such that being a newbie, I didn't knew how or if I should even ask what was going on...

Then, of course I found out that it was in my own TSA newsletter and that it was the same convention that the chatters were talking about.

A TS conference was held every two years in D.C.

I so much wanted to say to them, yes, I wanted to come too, but I was new and didn't wanted to creep anyone out...even though I could've just gone for myself because I belonged to the TS chapter. I would've much rather be invited by my new familiy...

and I think there were a lot of PMing going on because I would just get a taste of it and then, nada...LOL

about 10 days later...somebody actually DID ask me if I was going to the convention...

I couldn't believe it...I felt like I was being asked to the prom (which I'd never been. LOL)

I can't remember what I said at that moment but I eventually said yes without even realizing if I could've or not...I just knew that I WAS determined to go, either way....

how? It didn't mattered....I'd make it happen somehow....

Somehow...........

(to be cont.)