Part Juan: "Serendipity"

(I can only write from my perspective, so if others want to chime in on how we met, please feel free. LOLOL)

on Sept 5th, 1998, I went and got a puter of my very own. I had been surfing on my friends' computers or webTV's and I was very envious of them.

On top of that, the time just always seem to go by so quickly and then you can hear them play the violins signaling that it is time for me to leave. I didn't wanted to wear out my welcome at my friends' places so I finally said to myself: enough's enough, I am going to get my own computer

*insert a silhoutte of a man with setting sun behind him with determination on his face and gritting his teeth while clenching his fist and there is a dude standing a little bit behind him dipping in his wallet with a grimace on his face. That would be moi...

I wanted to get an iMac, it's Bondi Blue (named after Australian's Bondi Beach) and one of the most beautiful things I had ever laid my eyes upon. I must have hugged it forever and cried in the middle of a crowded "Best Buy" when the store clerk "ahemed" behind me hinting that it was either get it or get the heckit outta there fake cough...

when the Mac sat on top of my dining room table (I didn't thought about buying a puter desk.....yet. Plus I didn't have a phone jack in my room at the time....YET...)The heavens opened up and I swore the angels sang in the background... it was a beauty...I wanted to pass out cigars to the whole neighborhood....

*sniff*sniff....OK where was I...

I set it up immediately with Earthlink and after the "ppfffffffffffffffffff...zzzzzzzzaaaaaaaaaahhh...d ing... ding...ding....sssssssszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......... "

I was on-line!! For the first time, in my own house!!

that awful annoying noise of my modem getting connected would become the noise that I looked forward to hearing the most on a daily basis...

the third thing that I did when I got on the internet, was to do a search on Tourette Syndrome.

Which was strange, actually...

I had gotten to a point in my life that I didn't even wanted to talk about Tourette Syndrome anymore....the daily reminder of whenever I'd get teased was enough for me.

I also had became "blinded" to it. Even though I had been helping a few kids in my area with in-service and maybe do a little bit of speeches here and there at their schools....

Even though I would inform myself with the latest researches from newsletters and such. TS just became something that I just didn't "see" anymore....

I think that was one of my first of transitions or metamorphasis that I needed into becoming who I am...

but still, it was a part of me for myself, that I DENIED(cause I was in transition) and I've always felt alone and that nobody really could understand what I was going through. I've only met two or three other adults with TS but both of them were reluctant to talk about it or even admit that they have TS. And the kids were simply too young for me to discuss my questions and problems with since they've already got so much challenges of their own...

So, there I was that night, on line...my first search was on Cyndi Crawford, but I must have typed in Crawdad for some reason and ended up learning a lot about crawfishes....so I would consider my second search crawfish...

then, I typed in Tourette Syndrome....

I followed the first link and it took me to the TSA website, which I was very familiar with, TSA the organization, that is. I'd never been on their websites but had been getting their newsletters (which DID mention that chatroom is available). I belonged to the foundation.

as I scrolled down their homepage, something grabbed my attention:

"Tourette Syndrom Chatroom"

Now, I kind of knew what a chatroom was and I'd heard a lot of bad stories about chatrooms already...but the curiosity got to the best of me
so I clicked on the link.

It then took me to the Massachusetts General Hospital's website and right into the Tourette Syndrome Chatroom...

there was a conversation going on already. So, I signed in and was immediately greeted with "hi, moi (I used a different name back then but will
just use "moi" here to avoid confusion)"

then it was followed by "LOL" (it was addressed to someone else, I am sure)

I then thought, wow...awesome, I am already being shown "Lots of Love (LOL)" How cool yet strange was that?

I typed a quick hi and LOL'ed back thinking, hey, one good lots of love deserves another...but then thought to myself, maybe this was why
they said chatrooms are dangerous..."LOL"

(I would later became notorious for using LOLOLOL because that is how I really am in real life... )

one of the names that was there that night was "Lara" (who's a member here)

I learned later that she's from Australia...I thought to myself,Australia? NEATO!!! I was talking to someone FROM Australia?? How awesome was that?

I was addicted immediately to the chatroom. I owned my little business back then and would stay on line all the time IN the chatroom besides work. I then
bought a used computer so I could get on line at work (the luxury of being the owner).

I couldn't believe that I was meeting so many people that either have TS or are related to TS in one form or another. A lot of them were concerned
relatives or parents, but a lot of them were TSers, JUST LIKE ME!!

It's like I'd felt all alone in this world for so long now, yet NOW, there were people, JUST LIKE ME, that admitted that they have TS and actually wanted to to talk about it!!

It's like finding water in the desert...

there were some folks that were even from other chatrooms that were kind of empty so they would join us, like da duck (well, she was there way before I was....LOL)

But that didn't mattered, everyone was welcomed..and it was always fun in the chatroom. It was a place to unwind and just chill with folks that
actually KNEW what it meant to have Tourette Syndrome and whatever else that was included...and if they didn't, they didn't care and they learnt what it was and gave their own input on it...

we all became a tight knit community/family...

a couple of days after I joined the chatroom, somebody mentioned about a national convention...for TSers...

it was going to happen in Washington D.C. in October..

there were so many talks about who was going and such that being a newbie, I didn't knew how or if I should even ask what was going on...

Then, of course I found out that it was in my own TSA newsletter and that it was the same convention that the chatters were talking about.

A TS conference was held every two years in D.C.

I so much wanted to say to them, yes, I wanted to come too, but I was new and didn't wanted to creep anyone out...even though I could've just gone for myself because I belonged to the TS chapter. I would've much rather be invited by my new familiy...

and I think there were a lot of PMing going on because I would just get a taste of it and then, nada...LOL

about 10 days later...somebody actually DID ask me if I was going to the convention...

I couldn't believe it...I felt like I was being asked to the prom (which I'd never been. LOL)

I can't remember what I said at that moment but I eventually said yes without even realizing if I could've or not...I just knew that I WAS determined to go, either way....

how? It didn't mattered....I'd make it happen somehow....

Somehow...........

(to be cont.)

...waiting to see what happens next

me too.... ...it's like waiting for part 2 of a cliffhanger. lol

LOL, didn't wanted to bore you guys, but this was fun reliving that experience...

Part Duck: The Cherry Blossom was blooming in the conference room...

On October 15th, 1998, I embarked on a trip that would change my life forever...

up til this point in my life, I haven't really met any other adult TSers that had TS as severed as I did.

I had met a couple of others, but they were either not wanting to talk about it or were in denial, but I didn't blame them...
it's a hard subject and it was even harder to admit to myself that there IS something wrong with me (this is the old moi thinking. I do NOT think that way anymore. )

The convention was held at the Radisson Plaza (now some other hotel) in D.C.

I left early that AM with my clothes and my disguises.

We all had been discussing in the chatroom as to what we should do to help all of us identify each other. Since there were going to
be a couple of thousand attendees at this convention, we needed some sort of sign or signal.

Someone suggested wearing yellow ribbons...of course, I had to suggest that we'd tie it around an old oak tree...although
I wasn't sure if there would be any oak trees there or not...

two days before the convention, I went to the store to get some ribbons and I wasn't sure what came over me, but I decided
to make a HUGE ribbon...then, I went to the gag store and got a pair of fun glasses with the fake eyes drawn in...

It was Autumn in D.C and it was a bit misty and cool that day. But when I pulled into the parking lot at the hotel, my heart was beating profusely fast and I was sweating like a hog...

As I parked, I had to talk to myself into calming down. I was excited and apprehensive at the same time.

As I walked into the hotel lobby and passed a couple of couches by the elevator, I saw two ladies and a gent sitting on one of the couches.

None of them had ribbons on and neither did I so I didn't think anything of if they were part of the chatters or not...

I didn't wanted anyone to see me until I had my big ribbon and disguise on anyways...

So, as I walked passed them, I smiled and nodded at them and they smiled and nodded back.

No one had ever seen a photo of moi nor does anyone knew what I looked like. I had described myself in the chatroom but really, with hundreds of people there, who would've been able to tell me apart from Leonardo Decapitated??

The only thing that would've given me out was that I had dimples...but really...it's pretty common...

as I walked up toward the concierge, I heard someone said: "moi??" (using "moi" for the sake of this post. LOL)

I was beside myself...who would've known I was "moi?"

I turned around and it was from one of the ladies from the couch...

It was Lara...from Australia...

she..."recognized" me....

I was so shocked my jaw dropped as the three of them got up and we hugged each other and just smiled...none of us could stop smiling....

the other lady was sue from Boston and the guy was BradHawk from Seattle.

I couldn't believe my eyes...there they were, standing right infront of me...chatroom names coming to life...putting faces to names on screen was such an undescribable feeling because I had gotten used to seeing them using chatroom graphics and smiley's so that was actually the image I had associated them with. Silly...I know...

I didn't wanted to let go cause I was afraid I was going to check in and come back and they'd be gone...poof...and they'd just disappear...

but they assured me that that wasn't going to happen so I went and checked in.

I got my big ribbon out and put on my funny glasses and took the elevator down.

There were a few people in the elevator with me. They all had big smiles on their faces as they looked at me.

Almost everyone at the hotel was there for the convention, all the clerks and hotel workers were told about Tourette Syndrome and had been educated.

It was as if the TSers had their own country. Nobody stared or looked at me funny....

as I got down stairs to the lobby, more chatters have now surfaced. Some of them had the ribbons, the others just were informed that I was there (a lot of them were there a day ahead for the convention itself).

As I went through the line to hug each one of these TS chatroom folks...I can only tell you that I felt like I was in heaven...

I felt like I was home with my own...

they all had big smiles on their faces and they all hugged me tight...although I had to put the ribbon on my back in order for them to hug me. LOL

then, we all went to the convention...and I met more people...as I was registering to go into the general convention, another chatter was standing at the registration. Spanish Moss was she...(*many years later, Spanish Moss would become my wife. But at that time, we were totally JUST friends!! )

she saw my disguise and burst out laughing and said, "you must be moi"

I smiled and asked who she was...she introduced herself and her daughter to me.

As I walked into the convention with Spanish Moss and her daughter , another TS chatter appeared, it was Tam from Wisconsin. She was Spanish Moss's roommate. (Tam passed away 5 years ago...a dear and special friend that I would love to write a memoir about one day..)

She grinned a huge grin and whispered to me. "I know you are moi...I love your ribbon!"

some of the other chatters have now joined us as we walked into the convention area, I all of a sudden bursted out:
"I hope my Tourette doesn't bother anyone..."

They chuckled and Spanish moss said to me: "moi, you know this IS a TS convention????"

"duh" as I smacked myself in da head and laughed...oh yeah...I forgot...

during the events and the speakers, there were a lot of Tics happening...people barking, making noises, cussing, saying inappropriate words and phrases that would otherwise get them into trouble, foot stomping and table banging or repeating words or sentences to themselves...and I was joining in on the FRAY!!!! I made my noises and just let loose...

ahhhhh, it felt soooooooooooo good...to be able to do all that in public, infront of hundreds of people and not feel weird....

I had always had to control my tics in public before and that was a unique experience...to twitch and shout in the open like that with at least a few hundred TSers...it was a sight to behold and experience...I only wished someone would've directed us and made us ticced in sync or matched the animal noises together or have the humming tics in the background or something. Imagine, a TS Symphony. LOL

I started picking up some of the more interesting tics already...and my own tics were intensified...but it was all good...

it was all good...

after the meeting was over, us TS chatters borrowed one of the conference rooms and had our little own conference...

19 of us...in that room...and we all decided on pizza...

I decided to go get pizza cause I was the one of the few that actually drove there.

Tom from Houston, another TS chatter with severe ADD decided to go with me.

He was one of the most awesome person I had ever met. We bonded immediately.

He was a little older than I was. His wife was 8 months pregnant. He worked for a university developing UNIX. As smart as he was, he was a child at heart. We drove and we just laughed and joked as we went to pick up pizza and drinks. In that short time, I felt as if he was my long lost brother...it was very hard saying good bye to him when it was all over....

What was interesting was that I actually ran into one of my high school classmates at the supermarket where we went to get the drinks. But I didn't tell her what I was there for. She just thought I was visiting D.C for the heckit of it....

I couldn't imagine telling her that I was there for a Tourette Syndrome convention and I was meeting people that I've met on line in person. If my little town found out.....heheheheheh...

after we brought the pizza back, the evening was simply filled with fun...it was really weird as well cause I felt like I really wanted
to get a computer and chat with them even though they were right there...so, I brought it up and all of us started to crack up because each one of us felt the same way! We all wanted to have our computers there to chat with!! LOL

I excused myself from the room and used a computer lingo: BRB

And not sure why, but everyone thought that was hilarious...

and we all really wanted to use the computer Lingoes like "LOL" only to find out some of us would say it "L-O-L" and some of us would say "Lowell"

And while some of us said "R-O-T-F-L" few of us said "ROTFUL"

later on, we all gathered at BradHawk's room because he brought his laptop and was able to get us onto the internet using AOL through the hotel's phone line. It must have had cost him a bundle...but we all logged on (He actually signed all of our user names and logged all 19 of us onto the TS chatroom and we were in the chatroom with others that couldn't be at the convention...it was pretty funny seeing all 19 of our names together in that chatroom, I thought we were going to crash the chatroom. LOL

everytime he typed, we'd have to scroll down to read what was said. LOLOLOL

so, there we were, the 19 of us in this tiny room, everyone of us looking through the tiny screen of the laptop that connected all of us through electronic highway that linked us all...far and near...

there was something in the air...it was one that was fulfilling...it was one that was complete...it was blissfulness...

*this is a photo of Tom(ietnd) and me; guess which one is moi?

( I don't want anyone to think I would use their photos without their permission. This photo is on a public webpage designed by one of the TS chatters )



(to be cont. If you're still interested, I'll have to tell you about our little midnight adventure! )

part tree, part aussie: An Aussie's little adventure in D.C sans IHOP (well, almost...)

I've always been a night owl...and after the excitement of the day and most folks had retired. I went downstairs about 11:40pmish cause I was hungry. LOL

I remembered seeing an IHOP on my way to the hotel and it looked close...so I was going to ask the concierge where the IHOP was...

as I got down stairs, Lara and BrawHawk were sitting at the same couch the became our nexus.

Lara being from Australia and BradHawk being from Seattle and a night owl himself were wide awake...

I told them I was thinking about getting some midnight snack and asked if they'd like to join me. Lara didn't know what an IHOP was and when we told her it was a 24 hour breakfast joint. Her eyes really glowed with interest...

There was another dude there that I didn't know. It turned out that he was a TSer from Va that lived an hour away and hitch hiked his way to the convention. Lara and Brad didn't know him either but he seemed friendly so we invited him as well.

I went to get the direction from the desk clerk and off we went...

When we got out of the garage and D.C's streets having so many ONE WAY street as it is...

I made a simple wrong turn that would seal our fate for the rest of the night.

According to the front desk dude, the IHOP was only 2 minutes away, right behind the hotel..

but for some reason, after I've made the wrong turn and ended up going on the wrong way onto on coming traffic and then correcting myself by making some illegal U-Turn....we ended up somehow by the Lincoln Monument and I think, on some sort of beltway....

Since neither Brad nor Lara nor the other dude had been to D.C and I hadn't been to D.C since I was 12....we decided that we'd just take advantage of it and just tour around D.C. it was going to be fun and we'd just let the road take us. We were sure we were going to find a restaurant or an IHOP some how...

although, Brad's OCD had really kicked in and decided that he really wanted IHOP...so, IHOP it was!!

I was the tour guide I guess as I named some of the monuments off....but I must admit that I must have also made some up because when I got to the "John Adams Monument" I could sense some eye brows raising...LOL

but still, IHOP was our goal and we started to back track to the hotel.

The streets in D.C in the middle of night is very confusing and there were a bit of constructions going on so we'd had to take a few detours...

at one time, we ended up in a dead end road in what seemed like a rough neighborhood and we saw some shady characters running toward us...

I made another very illegal U-turn got us outta there hoping we wouldn't make the next day's headline news...

we also drove and ended up in "park N' ride" but there were a couple of slots that read: "Kiss and ride"

we thought that was pretty amusing...

and then, we somehow ended up in Gerogetown...

but because we were having so much fun, yet hungry....we'd just laugh and just followed the road...then, I'd get out and ask for direction to go back to the hotel...

but when we drove by the same sign for the fourth time by Georgetown, I was beginning to start to get worried...

for one, my gas was running low and I hadn't seen a gas station.

for two, we kept on ending up on rough side of the town for some reason.

And here I was, carrying people from Australia and Seattle and Va and I felt responsible for their safety.

one of the funniest thing was whenever I'd make a right turn during the stop light, Lara would yell, "moi!!! SDOUPuh(stop)!!

She kept on forgetting that we were in the U.S and that we DRIVE on the RIGHT side of the street and that she drives on the WRONG side in Australia. LOLOL

We all would say repeatedly how much we loved her accent and she would say, "what accent? you're the ones with the accent..."

by the time we drove by the same sign that read: "Maryland, 35 miles" for the fifth time....we all just burst out laughing for we had been on the road for almost 4 hours now and we were hungry and tired...

finally, by some miracle, we got back to the hotel again and because we all were starving, we were determined to still go to IHOP...we asked the desk clerk again for directions but this time there were two of us listening to the directions...

and voila, it took us less than two minutes to get to THE IHOP....

by the time we headed back to the hotel, it was almost 6am...

but no matter, we have had so much fun...and that little detour of searching for an IHOP would still remain one of the most special part of that trip....

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope Lara will come back to the forums soon...sure miss her wonderful presence....her TS connection is her son, who has TS...

BradHawk is one of those awesome TSers that I truly admire...he is always upbeat and happy and sure...he is comfortable with himself and he, like Tom, were some of the most awesomest TSer/people I have ever met...

a couple of years ago, BradHawk came to our wedding...and it probably would've been disastrous if he hadn't been there helping me setting up the chairs...LOLOLOL

he sits on the Seattle TS board...I wish any troubled TSer would be able to meet Bradhawk...he's an inspiration...

he's inspired me. It's too bad he doesn't come to the forums...

here is a post about our weeding.

Wow!!!! You must be soooo glad you went to that convention. Even met your wife there? Sounds like a time that really did change you forever.

Truly a great story, and i did read your wedding post too. lovely stuff!!!!

and may I add that I agree with Lara that Aussies don't have accents...

Thanks for your story...
Lyn.

LOL, thank you for reading...it was fun down the memory lane.

da wife and I became good friends after the convention. I became good friends with the whole family, actually...there was NO romantic notions at all from neither of us...

as a matter of fact...I was in love with someone else (later) and da wife was one of my listeners...

I do have a couple of more minor tales to tell...but will just come back and finish later...

and maybe display a photo of the infamous purple panty (not what ya think...LMAO...........)

moi, i now know who you are. the LOLOLOLOL gave it away. great to be back in touch with you. please say you remember me. if not, fake it. LOLOL

Hi Bama. I just stumbled onto this thread and was wiping tears of laughter away when I saw your post. I just had to say Hi. I am (was?) Nan from the TS chat room. We used to chat there. I was glad to hear from my Moi that you had found NeuroTalk. I just wanted to say hello!


Edited to say that my roomie was actually BB from Columbia South America at that time. We hung out alot with Tam, but BB ws the roomie (Hi BB - if you ever read in here!!!!)

yoo hoo, where are you, bama? And bb??