I have a TBI from a hydrocephalus shunt placement that went a little awry.
That was 3 years ago, and I thought I was handling it really well until the last few weeks. I've grown really angry about the wheelchair that I now find myself in and have no patience for the people around me.
I've considered cutting myself totally out of my family's lives because they are just more trouble than they are worth. I just want to start everything all over and totally reinvent myself and find a new way of life for the new me.
Did anyone else go through this? Seems that I would have gone through this before now. It has been three years. It's so hard to start over with so few tools to work with. I just know that I need a new start.

welcome

sorry you are going through this, there seems to be no set time for feelings with any injury and that go,s for family and freinds as well, all I can sugest is to seek more and as much rehabilitation as you can get and need , outside your family, my patner go,s to a carers support group that helps her to off load,
I think we go through all the emotions every day with this eg anger sadness giult ,ect with windows of its ok , the trick is to make the ok times longer

easy said huh , but I find getting out and trying to take action for myself helps

best wishes to you and your family

Vini, thanks for the warm welcome. It's nice to know that there are people out there that know what I'm saying. Though I don't wish this on no one, since there are people who already experience this-- then I'm glad I found you guys.

I am so sorry to hear what has happenned to you Phyxius. My husband left me as well about 3 months after the bumps that changed my life. I since realised that I was the strong one in the relationship and simply didn't have the energy to cope with "sorting" him out and copying with myself. - you certainly find out who your friends are. There are also the people that say to you I don't know how you cope - well what else are you meant to do? Also the classic from the second psychologist that I saw was that many people would be more than happy with your test results! Der........ I'm not happy with any average, high average etc testing - average never existed for me, nothing below 90% existed, I could repeat conversations word for word, I was top out of 300 entering college.

I don't know how you are meant to forget your old self, maybe first acknowledge what you had and get over it - I have had counselling but it didn't really do a lot for me. I spent a lot of time trying to work out how it was going to work. Maybe if you were told it you think like this then this will help you over come ..... whatever.

I get annoyed with people who don't put any effort into what they are doing and saying - lazy thinkers and tend to avoid those that I can. I believe the higher the IQ pre accident the harder time you have coping afterwards - I did read that somewhere.

Sorry I have waffled on - I am good at that nowadays!

Lynlee

Sometimes I think there is something to the saying "ignorance is bliss". I think that sometimes it would be easier to give in to the lazy thinking-- especially with the diminished capabilities I've found myself with as of late. Fighting the fatigue, depression, misunderstanding and my own mind is very tiring and some days I wonder what am I fighting so hard against-- the TBI, or myself. I do understand though how some would prefer avoid the fight all together. I'm not ready to throw in the towel just yet.

Hey Lucy,

It is true that high IQ folks are the most aware of and dismayed by a TBIs errosion of their intellectual abilities. High IQ folks are also the most likely not to be diagnosed or to be flubbed off with "You're still smarter than most people - so what's the big deal."

I was high functioning to the point of scarey before my "accident." I struggle not to cry everytime I think of what some loser drunk driver stole from me. I weep not only for losing what I already had, but for all of my potential. I HATE my stupid new brain, but for the sake of my daughter, I'm trying to "move on." Still, notwithstanding the kid, if I ever think a TV sitcom is funny(30 Rock, excepted), I will kill my new (but not improved) self.

Hi,

I'm really sorry you have been going through this for so long without any relief. I'm glad you have been handling it well until recently. I have a very supportive husband and my children are supportive too, but it ends there. People really don't understand what we are going through every day.

It's amazing how people will come up to me and tell me how good I look or seem. It makes me angry inside, but I do keep a smile on my face. I really try to keep a good attitude, but there are times where I get discouraged and frustrated.

I think it's really helpful to vent your frustrations and anger out to people who will listen without judgement or trying to "fix it".

I struggled with my faith for a while when all this first started. I was mad at God and angry that I had to change my life so drastically. For the moment I am embracing where I am and what I am going through. I feel very close to Him and it encourages me most days.

There are still days where I really feel sick and I get angry and frustratred. I feel bad that I get so angry. My husband and kids are understanding, and I am so blessed by that!

I'm here for you if you want to vent.

Hi and welcome to NT!

I so understand the desire to want to run away and start anew. I think, at its base, what motivates that impulse is the notion that we would be starting again WITHOUT THE TBI. Unfortunately, that just isn't true: the brain injury is part of who we are and no matter where we go or what we change, it will still be there.

I know that family members can be frustrating, but we need them now more than we ever did. I think the trick is not to expect them to understand everything that is happening to us. Afterall, I don't even understand everything that is happening to me. I know I'm angry about what happened to me and I struggle (not always successfully) not to lash out against the closest and most convenient targets - my innocent family.

As others have said, we have to cast a wide net to get the support we need. Joining NT is a good step. Here you will find people who truly "get it." Searching the Brain Injury Association web page for a support group in your area is also a great move. A support group for the people who care for you can be an essential part of helping them understand your head injury and lowering the stress and tension in your home.

Try not to be too hard on your family. When I first got hurt I was so frustrated with how they were acting. I mean, what the heck was wrong with them? Then, in an all too rare moment of insight, I thought, "They haven't changed; I have."

I know it's hard, but try to remember that the injury can make us impulsive and reckless. Please fight against the urge to do anything rash you might later regret. When you need to vent, come here and we'll listen.

Cheers

Hockey, I wish I could hop into a bullet train and outrun this thing but I know that I can't outrun or hide from it. I just want to make sure I put myself in the position to be around people who are an empowerment and not an impediment.
Happy New Year.

Like I said, I've drifted away from the folks who bring me down and embraced those who empower me. Sometimes it's been a big surprise to see which friends fell into which category.

Cheers