You don't need a family history of anxiety to have problems with it after a TBI - you just need a TBI.

I had nerves of steel before my accident; now I get panic attacks. Fortunately, my parents didn't raise any stupid children, so I'm getting professional help for this potentially debilitating problem.

Speaking of help, if you were totally candid about your symptoms, and the powers that be are still letting you play basketball, you are in the hands of people who are shockingly incompetent and/or recklessly irresponsible.

Deep down even you know you shouldn't be on the court. Otherwise, you wouldn't continue to post here only to be showered with replies expessing sincere and unequivocal concern for your safety.

If you don't take care of yourself and get some serious medical help, I can all but promise that your adult years will be filled with remorse.

Get help!!!!!!!!!!!!!

actually the everyone is trying to help me i just refuse it. we went to the doctor yesterday and i just lied about everything. you could tell they were really surprised i was back if i was saying everything was fine. they want me to keep a symptom log now or something. i dont know. you are right htough i dont know why i keep posting here its not helping at all.

soccer,

I think you visit to the doctor the other day is a BIG sign. You said you just lied about everything being OK. Why did you do that?

The recommendation of journalism your symptoms is exactly what I told you some time ago. The biggest problem with PCS is trying to deny the problems. If yiou deny and ignore the problems, you will never learn how to fix them.

Your mother needs to get involved in your recovery. maybe she needs to post onto this forum. Invite her to do it. She could be SoccersMom.

You will never get better on your own. You need her help.

Unless you start taking this more seriously, you will end up with another concussion from a very minor bump and your world will change so that you do not recognize yourself.

Your zone-out moments could be absence seizures. I have them. It will be helpful if your mother knows to watch for these. If she see you eyes going blank, she need to note it down. She should see if you respond to her voice or waving hands. If it takes a few moments to 'come out of it,' it is a symptoms that needs investigating.

You will want to drive a car soon. If you have not resolved these issues, you may be denied a license. Or worse, you may get your license and then have a serious accident. When I was sixteen, I had to put off getting my drivers license because of my 'zoning out' problems. My doctor finally cleared me about nine months later.

After my thirteenth concussion ( most were very minor bumps) at 46, I had to stop driving.

You have a long life ahead that is worth protecting.

Talk to your mom. Have her post here so she can become more involved. It may just save your life. Your lies and denial are putting you at risk.

Sorry if I sound harsh. I am just a old grandpa with vast experience with concussion. I hate to see others going through what I went through the past 40 years.

There is an old saying.

Fools refuse to learn from their own mistakes.
Smart people learn from their own mistakes.
Wise people learn from others mistakes.

You have a chance to be a wise person.

im pretty sure ive had at least 3 more concussions since the first one. one time i woke up on my kitchen floor with a nice bump i got hit in the face at a soccer practice i was elbowed in the head at basketball recently which made everything worse oh wait no 4 now because i woke up about a week ago to discover another nice bump. i already have my license too and continue to drive.

It's good that you keep posting here. It's a sign that you know you need medical help and sooner or later you'll accept that.

Denial is a big symptom of a TBI. Like you, I spent months convinced that first, I was perfectly fine and then that I could just will my way through all the symptoms. While I was doing this, I was way less functional than you are. It's part of the injury.

You're lucky because you've got people here who understand what's happening to you and won't stop encouraging you to get help until you finally do. I went through the denial stage alone. I had no idea what was happening and half the time I thought I was losing my mind.

Please don't write us off as a bunch of old nags - we're just trying to spare you a lot of the agony we've already been through.

The truth will set you free.

im pretty sure thats why i keep posting here so that i know im not losing my mind becsue no one else knows what im going through. even my assistant basketball coach who had to quit since she had 3 concussions doesnt know all the stuff im going through. i just want someone to understand i guess. i know im not in denial i just dont want to stop playing which is stupid because i have my whole life ahead of me i just like it too much.

i just like knowing someone else understands what im going through i couldnt imagine trying to go throguh this alone. and i want to find out if my new symptoms are very severe or not thats probably the biggest reason.

i know why i post here now. i just need support. my best friend that got me through everything to first time was a senior and is in college now. we used to talk but not really anymore. she was the only one that really knew what i was going through and now i dont even talk to her or see her anymore. i miss her more than i could have thought possible. now that i dont talk to her i dont have anyone that understands what im dealing with so i put it all down here. im just lonely.

soccer,

I am glad I don't live in South Dakota. I had too many close calls before I stopped driving. I drove onto a sidewalk near my home. I have become aware that I am headed toward the ditch or opposite lane or some other place my cart should not be headed. Finally, my wife was following and saw a few of my scary moves and pulled me over. My daughter drove my wife's car and my wife drove my truck. That was May 27, 2001. Shortly thereafter, I confessed my close calls to my wife and ended most of my driving.

Now, I only drive on my best days and only on the slower country roads without traffic congestion. I have an old beat up truck that I drive. I doubt I drive 300 miles a year. When I tried driving into Boise, I could easily get confused by the congestion. I even tried a brain rehab therapist to see if I could get back on the road.

In 2003, an elderly man in Santa Monica drove through a crowd of people and killed 10 people. He may have been 86 years old but his dementia caused driving problems that are very similar to PCS with zone out tendencies.

Here in Idaho we had a head on collision a few weeks ago where it appears the driver had some sort of seizure. She crossed the highway median into oncoming traffic and destroyed a whole family except for an infant. Fortunately, she did not survive to live with the devastation she caused the other family.

I cringe when I think of the speeds that car pass each other. We have 65 mph country roads with just a single dotted line between oncoming traffic.

Hopefully, where you live in South Dakota is not congested.

So.... Please be very careful with your driving. Get some answers to your condition.

With your history of five concussions, your brain is in very weak condition. All of the research shows that even those who claim to not be in denial usually grossly minimize the impact of their symptoms. It is a symptom of the injury.

If you were a soldier who had returned from Iraq, the Army would be assessing you carefully because they know how much denial is a part of PCS. As a young woman, you likely fill your void with the interaction on this forum. That way you can have two worlds. On-line, you have a real brain injury. In your home and school life, you just have some minor issues.

If you are struggling at all now, college will blow you away. The change of study intensity and loss of support structure will position you to fall on your face. I've done it. I've seen others do it. There is a group in California that focuses on getting help so PCS subjects can make it through college.

Be sure to have good health insurance and don't let it lapse. I became uninsureable when I moved to a new state. I had to keep my old health insurance and travel 650 miles for routine health care (Idaho to California). I was very fortunate that my policy was not canceled for living out of California.

Hockey, Dmom, Snowylynn and others like me all know the risks you are subjecting yourself too. We want you to have a better rest of your life that we have.

Just sending you some hugs

Hi Soccer,

Yes, a TBI can be isolating. Until I met my neuro-psychologist, I never met anyone who understood or who could be made to understand what I was going through. Then I found NT.

I can post stuff here and I know the rest of you are nodding (gently) your heads, going, "Yeah, I've been there." Heck, I'm just thrilled to be some where that people don't jump all over you and discount what you say if you make a spelling or grammar error. NT really makes me feel less alone.

However, NT does more than that: it allows me to benefit from the wisdom of people who've been dealing with this for longer than I have. I've learned all sorts of important things about supplements, alternative treatments, coping strategies, diagnostic tests, etc... I would never know this stuff without Mark, Vini, Mrh4, Lucy, etc... handing it to me, tied in a bow. Frankly, I now lack the attention span, initiative and organizational skills to find that stuff on my own.

I am also inspired by accounts from those who have improved and comforted by the stories of those who have accepted their limitations with grace.

I know it's hard for you to walk away from contact sports. Look at my avitar; I was a hockey playing maniac. I started in a diaper, played varsity and then went into adult league play. I scored two goals in a game the night before my accident. Heck, I can't tell you how much I loved playing hockey.

What I can tell you, is that it is much harder to wave goodbye to your child while the neighbours take her sledding or skiing or to all the other activities I can't share with her anymore. Spare yourself that pain. Think of the wonderful future that's waiting for you. A future, that even without the TBI, probably wouldn't have included basketball.

The vast majority of female players don't participate into middle age. They move on to other interests and responsibilities or their knees are shot. Would you be playing with a torn ACL?

Cheers