Good recommendations, Wanttobesurfing, for dealing with the compassionate attitude toward one's self-as-is, in the present moment.
And moments onward ... through time ... and, yes, one day we realize,
as your example, "Oh. I'm bending over to tee up a golf ball. I remember when I couldn't do this. Okay. I am better."

Patience with one's self is a Big Lesson in all of this for each one of us.
And, believe me, andy55, I know how tough that can be. It certainly was for me, until I absolutely had no choice but to 'accept what is, today' and work within varying daily capacities & capabilities.

It's good to know that there are lots of others [here] who do know & do understand what you're going through; those who are highly knowledgeable in the current science, medical research info, nutritional, emotional & mental aspects, along with the approaches to getting back into physical exercise/activity.

Hang in there, andy55. We're with you.

I am 17 months out from a head injury. I was having daily headaches that pretty much ruled my life. I have been working with a neurologist trying to find a med that would take care of my headaches enough to be able to function during the day. After a few that didn't work, I was finally put on Topamax. It has knocked them down a bit. There are still things that I have troubles with, but I decided that this summer I was not going to let it drag me down. I spent last summer doing almost nothing because of headaches and fatigue and all the other stuff that goes along with PCS. I have problems with exercising, but also gained weight when not exercising which then lead to a little bit of depression which started this whole cycle. My daughter bought the P90X system and we have been doing that. Yesterday as a plyometrics day with a lot of jumping and today I feel like crap. But, I know that tomorrow I will not feel that way so I do it. I know what triggers certain things and have to ask myself whether certain things are worth it or not. I am just bound and determined to not let this rule my life. I am finally taking control!!

Sheds - thanks for that note - it's encouraging to hear other longer term sufferers facing the same thing as me. I'm with you - I'm normally very active, got a bit of a weight gain and it hits your self-confidence. I go to the gym 3x a week now and generally feel bad whether I do or I don't. Can get my heart rate up to 160 now without getting Nausea. Sometimes gotta stop sometimes it's OK. It's hard to explain but what I'm facing is constant headaches and light headedness. Not so much nausea anymore. Anyway - if I start feeling really bad I just stop. I've found for me that lifting weights, biking and some running on a treadmill is generally OK. The reality is though I feel pretty awful all the time. The good thing for me is I don't feel like puking every minute of the day which I faced for the first 9 or 10 months.

It's hard to keep the big picture perspective but I couldn't walk around the block for the first 2-3 months. I couldn't look left/right/up/down without feeling sick. So the fact I can do any exercise I am happy about. Last summer I couldn't play ball hockey or catch with the kids or swim or do anything. I can do it now and tolerate it the bad feeling but I'll take that anyday over not being able to do any exercise - for those facing this I know it is a helpless feeling but for many it will get better.

Small victories, small victories.

This thread leads me back to a question I have not found an answer to.

For those of you who are several months post injury, do you think jumping during plyometrics or the bouncing of running that leaves you feeling cruddy is slowing down your healing process at all?

I believe (I want desperately to believe) that those activities that leave you feeling cruddy may just be reminding you that you had an injury and you need to not push it to far, but are not doing any new damage or slowing your healing. Again, to use the analogy put forth by my daughter's psychologist 3-months post injury, it's just like a sprained ankle that might hurt if you jump on it months or even years after it has officially healed.

This makes a huge difference in deciding between living your life and suffering through a headache or two, or locking yourself in a closet for awhile. Of course I am referring to physical activities that are not likely to cause another blow to the head here.

PCSLearner,

The brain is not like the rest of the body, especially bones, ligaments, tendons and muscles. The later all become stronger through strain.

The research I have found suggests that relapses of symptoms is counter to the brain healing or becoming accommodated to the injury. Each relapse (decompensation in medical terms) prevents any healing during the recovery from the decomp.

Maybe this example will explain what I think they meant in their reports.

If a healthy uninjured brain is 10

A specific subject's injured brain is at 3

A realistic goal of healing may be to get to 8.

If every time the subject gets to 6 they over stress their brain back to a 4, they will spend most of their time in a roller coaster existence between 4 and 6.

The goal should be to spend as much time at 6 as possible so that healing to 7 is possible. As healing levels increase, the amount of time it may take to get to the next level of healing may be much more than the previous level.

Does this make sense to you?

I tried to continue to work after my injury in 2001. It required my wife's help. But after each week of intense work, I would crash for two weeks. I was such a mess that I was unable to get the claim forms properly filled out to get a disability Work Comp claim submitted.

When I finally realized that I needed to stop working, after some time, I became much more capable of getting the claim forms filled out properly. But, by this time, I had let too much time pass and had an uphill battle.

Now, I have much fewer decomps events and my high function level is much better. I still have serious memory problems but my neuro says it is because of my age and the number of previous concussions. I occasionally have a decomp that lasts a few days. In hind sight, I cam see what I did to trigger the decomp.

Now, my wife helps by reminding me of the risk of overdoing it. She also is good at recognizing when I am getting to my limit. She lives with me soshe would rather I miss an event that I decomp and she has to put up with me.

I did not understand the decomps when I was a teen. I just became symptomatic and others attributed it to a behavioral issue. I decomped during the Connecticut State Cross Country Finals due to being overwhelmed by the chaos of the crowd of runners. I finished about 12 seconds off the first place but was 3 seconds ahead of a runner who I had previously beat by 26 seconds.

I could not figure out why I could not get my head into the race. Only in the past ten years did I realize that I had decomped. I still remember the feeling of bewilderment or confusion I felt while running the race. I likely should have bee the State Champion.

I can now look back at the times where I grossly underperformed. It might have been in competition or in decision making. In hind-sight, I can see that I was seriously missing some of my faculties. Learning how to recognize the bad times and limit exposure is the most valuable skill. learning to avoid over doing it is almost as important.

Hope this helps.

Remember as I write this that this is just about my injury. I only know about PCS from what I have read here and some "Googling". I don't feel like I am doing any harm to myself by doing my plyo or jumping exercises. I do them on a wrestling mat so it has a lot of cushion. I sometimes think that when I have down time I tend to dwell on how I feel and can make myself feel worse then I really do. I may not notice that my ears are ringing unless I really focus on it. Now why would I want to do that? So, I am training myself to not focus so much on those things. Obviously, when I have a really bad headache, I do something about it. If it is a low grade headache, I try not to tune into it. My accident was from negligence in a hospital. I think that I have gone through the stages of grief and have gotten to the acceptance stage after staying in the anger stage for probably longer than I should have!!

Don't get me wrong, there are definitely things I still avoid...running on hard surfaces, road biking, walking barefoot because of inducing headaches. Will I ever be able to run or bike the way I could before? Maybe not. Is it the end of the world? No. There are plenty of others things for me to do that make me feel just as good. I try to avoid loud places because they induce headaches along with very irritating ringing in my ears. But, I will not give up going to Badger football games because I love to do that. I will not give up going to my kids ball games because that is important to me. I will never get these years back with my kids. After 17 months, I need to take my life back. I will not let this rule my life. In the past, when I did things like play tennis, boating, etc. I paid for it for many days afterwards, not just one day like now. So, in that case, things have gotten better. The more I obsess about things the worse I feel.

Like I said in the beginning, I am taking my life back. I know I am not the same person I was before the accident and I am trying to embrace this new person. There are things that I don't necessarily like about this new person (mood swings, somewhat different personality), but I am learning to deal with that. Life is too short for me to dwell on this. I tend to be more protective of my kids because my life could have turned out a whole lot different than it did. I met a man in the grocery store one day who was having a problem picking out the right bag of cookies. He then went on to tell me his story about how he had fallen on the ice while skating, hit his head, was in a coma for a few months and has been in rehab for a year. He definitely is mentally and physically challenged. His life changed in a minute. Mine could have too. He brought me to tears. That put my life in perspective right there in the grocery store. It didn't make mine any less real, I just felt like I had no room to complain as his life was changed forever.

I am by no means discounting any of the injuries on this posting or the recovery process. I know that everyone is different and the recovery process can be very long or it can be on the shorter side. Every one has different symptoms and ways of dealing with them. It is taken me this long to get most of them under control. I had no idea in the beginning that this would be so time and labor intensive. Time in the essence of how long the symptoms could last and labor intensive in how long it takes to finally get a doctor to listen to the symptoms and help treat them. I definitely think that was the key to my decreased symptoms. I am in no way completely recovered, but feel I am well on my way. I have my down days, but for the most part try to be as positive as I can.

Sorry this is so long and again, this is just my story. I pray for all of you and your recovery. It can be such a long taunting road. I do believe there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully you will see it too. Embrace the day and all of the positive things in it even if they are few and far between. I do believe that is what keeps us going.

Peace.

I'm going to post something building on Sheds recent post.

This weekend I actually had a golf game where I did not notice my head for a full 4 hours. Noticed it before and after but for 4 hours didn't notice it. I've been waiting for something like this for 14 months. It was just nice to have an extended period of time - not even a day though - but still, without noticing it.

For anyone looking for positivity - there is hope.

Small victories, small victories......

New to the site
 

Hello. I am new to this site. I have PCS and TBI caused from a surfing injury where I was "dropped in on" as I was paddling out and a surfer forgot to look before making a drop and my head took the main impact and I went through a 4" glass job and through the foam of the board. It has only been 2 months but it feels like an eternity and everything that I love to do has been taken from me. Without no visible bruises, and days where I feel mostly ok its hard to explain to others the extreme pain that comes and confusion I feel at times as well as the spine pain (few discs are angry with me as well). No doctor can say "don't surf till...this date" or you'll feel better by x...
I'm the girl in the line up that loves the waves, the dolphins and well right now my job is on the line as well as this is not a work related injury. I was always the happy "shorty" in the line up. I just want to pull out a board and go for it. I've never felt so alone, crazy or hurt so much (I surfed North shore 3 weeks after my knee was scoped so I am far from a person who has a low pain tolerance ) yet I feel down right crazy right now. Which is funny considering I am a licensed MFT and am an administrator at a residential facility. I guess thanks for letting me vent. Shorty

shorty,

Sorry to hear of your struggles. You are not alone here. What you are experiencing is very common with PCS. It will help if you can find ways to relax and get away from the stress of your job.

Is there any way you can get some time off or even an assistant to help you at work?

You will likely be able to get State Disability Insurance. California's program is a good safety net.

Stress is counter to any recovery. You need good sleep and nutrition. The brain needs to rest because this is the only time when it can heal.

If you are concerned about your job, you have the credentials to become a specialist in the dynamics of concussion is family life. There is a huge void in services available to families/caregivers of TBI/mTBI/concussion subjects.

Go to www.tbiguide.com Down load and print out the TBI Survival Guide. It is as good as it gets. It should help you understand how to moderate your life and job to help you go on.

If you can post yopur specific symptoms and struggles, there are lots of experienced PCS sufferers who can help you.

My best to you.

Go for it!
 

WEIRD!!!!
You are exactly where I am except I feel worse when I do anything that raises my heartbeat. I decided about three months ago that I am going to do what I want as long as I won't hit my head again. I still don't do as much because felling like I am going to fall down, and a headache that makes me feel like my head is going to explode are not very exciting to me. But I want to live life and I am tired of being an "invalid" because of a headache. Nothing makes me better and even a bright light or a loud sound can or just waking up can give me a headache, so I decided to live life despite the pain. Go for it, it's not like anything worse will happen!:D