Hi, I'm a student looking for help on this board. I grew up in a bad neighborhood and attacked by some thugs with aluminum bats which left a dent on my head. I used to be a gifted students back in grade school. After that incident i found myself extremely impulsive and hyperactive. I used to be very patient as i loved to work with computers such as programming and graphics designing. However, I still made it to college and received average grades. 2 years after the first incident, I happened to dived into a pool with no shallow end which resulted in my second concussion. It has been a year now and I can't seem to manage my time at all. I can still hold very educational conversations but cannot manage a social one. Everything that i have learned after the second concussion has been a problem to retrieve. I can't seem to learn... I space in and out all the time as well. Some days i feel as if I'm my old self again and function normally. But other days I forget who I am and cannot get myself out of the house and be productive like how i used to be. The first concussion happened when I was 17. The second when I was 19. I am now 20 and struggling in a UC. I want my old self back... Its been one year since the 2nd incident. On days when I am stressed... my brain just shuts off. I can't seem communicate with my friends anymore.. I lost track of all of them... What would you guys suggest? I have not received any therapy so far... I feel so scatter brained.. I decided to built new habits such as being organize which seems to help a lot and makes my life a lot easier.. But i want my brain back.. I used to be extremely bright.. top student in my classes... specially in math... I just needed some venting since most people in my life wouldn't understand. I rather not burden them..

You are certainly at the right place to 'vent' alllll you want!!!
Glad you're here!....Though I am so sorry what it is that brings you here.
I see you've found a good place to start with.

There are many very caring folks here and I'm sure they will latch right on to your post.
Hang in there....... You've done the right thing by coming here!

Truly Caring
Rae

supreme818,

Sorry to hear about your struggles. Been there, done that, changed majors at SJSU back in 1974.

First, go to www.tbiguide.com and download and print the TBI Survival Guide. It will help you understand how your brain is behaving.

You are right at establishing new organizational habits. This is a priority. You need to be diligent in setting up organizational systems. Note cards, a day timer or PDA, alarms, etc. to remind you to do a task. Cell phones and smart phones can do many of these tasks for you.

Learn to over organize so that you can have over-learned skills to fall back on if you suffer another concussion and become even more symptomatic.

Your realization of the impact of stress is also a big head start. Stress is the kiss of death to PCS. Your symptoms will jump out and bite you when stress hits.

There are two parts to stress. You can moderate both.

Environmental stress can be planned around and avoided. Simplify your living environment. Get control of both visual and auditory stimuli. In class, sit at the front of the room to avoid looking at the backs of heads and all that distraction.

You can try foam ear plugs to block background noise. I need sun glasses to avoid bright lights.

Emotional or reactive stress is something you need to choose to control. You will need to learn to pick your battles. Many issues we get stressed over are not worth the effort. It does not help our situation. In fact, we make our problems worse by fretting and pushing too hard.

There are things you can influence and things that you can't. Learn the Serenity Prayer. Make choices to let go of the things that you cannot change.

Get to student health services and seek help. There are not many therapies to help you heal but there are strategies to help you cope. You have access to testing accommodations and other assistance. See if someone can help you get to understand the new you. You may never get the old you back.

But that is OK. You can still live a full and productive life without the old you. The social struggles are very common. You can learn how to work through these struggles.

You likely do not process social cues as well as you did in the past. If any of your past friends might be worth pursuing, have then read the TBI Survival Guide. You need to find some friends who can be your advocate and help you manage you struggles.

When they realize that you did not morph into a jerk but instead have undergone some neurological changes, the true friends will become evident and know how to stick by you. Say good bye to drinking buddies. Alcohol and PCS do not mix.

Do a search for nutrition or vitamins and read my and others' past posts. Your brain needs extra nutrition to handle the stresses it is enduring.

There are a few important factors. Your brain needs:
good sleep,
low stress,
good nutrition,
and plenty of time.

As a last note, you can help some of us out by posting in short paragraphs. I cannot read long paragraphs very well. I cannot track to the start of the next line. These visual struggles are common.

Let us know how you are doing. There is a wealth of experience, wisdom and compassion in this group.

My best to you.

Mark gave you a wealth of information!

Just wanted to add....and I know this sounds absolutely ridiculously mundane,
but keep a special notebook (the oldfashioned 'paper' kind )
Use the KIS (Keep It Simple) idea.
It helps tremendously to write things down, even as basic as 'who you are'....for those days you have when you can't seem to retain anything.
This may seem like silly advice, but really, it does help retain info by writing things down. Make alot of lists and notes to leave yourself for day to day things that you need to do.
Try to stay on a structured schedule.
And keep your notebook with you when you are in a situation in which you need to retain a lot of info all in a short amount of time......jot down 'bullet points' to remember if nothing else. You can go back and fill in more detail when you have the solitude to do so.

WRITE down the qualities about yourself you feel bring out the best in you.
Example: I am Rae, I love to laugh. I love to make people smile.
I ask God to help me get thru each day. ....... you get the idea.
If you have something like this to see when you first wake up in the morning, it can help you to remind yourself of all the things you are capable of.

I have learned thru the years that the only way I retain 'learning' info is by writing it down. Refer to it as often as you need.
Take small recording devices to important lectures.
Personalize your learning agenda and stay focused the best you can.

I think it is awesome that you came here...this shows how serious you 'care' about yourself..... and you can come here ANY time you feel the need to unload, ask questions, vent, share an achievement.
You may not realize this, but by doing so, you could very well be inspiring someone else!

I am very impressed by your determination! Please don't lose that quality about yourself!!

Caring
Rae

I have been taking herbal route in terms of medication. I know that the dangers of prescription drugs outweighs the benefits in the long run. I usually take ginko, b6,b12,fish oil, and a coffee to boost my day.

I used to drink and have no problem socializing with my peers. However, after the incident I find myself in a lost of words. This problem worsens at a crowded party. This is why I have decided to cut down drinking substantially. My inability to identify social cues is a really big problem for me. Girls would pass on hints towards me and I would just respond rudely... I never had problems with girls ever... in my life. There would be times where a girl would tell me that she is attracted to me and I would not know what to say back. (this happened too many times to count i might add...) and it frustrates the hell out of me.

I really just want to live a normal life really. I just feel so incomplete. My personality is gone... I have no real hobbies because I can't seem to hold any term of commitment for ANYTHING. I feel if this problem continues on... I will find myself single for the rest of my life as I find it really hard to form long term memories.

I find a routine is very helpful and relieves a lot of stress as I do not have to stress about anything "different" being introduced into my schedule that might freak me out. But then... those type of events are what makes life fun and memorable... wouldn't you think?

My goal now is just to graduate and make my parents happy as I have stressed them enough. I had so much potential... But this injury greatly hinders my ability to achieve my goals. I had goals of becoming a professional.. architect...engineer... etc. It was all possible too. Before the first event I felt life was too easy. I felt that I was too smart for school. Now I sit hear reminiscing my childhood and wished I was "smart" enough not to involve myself with a neighborhood gang.

I still challenge myself everyday but I find myself extremely forgetful. Will this ever improve if I keep my mind busy? Though social skills are important, I my value my ability to learn more.

Sorry for the rant. I found it really depressing when I told brother my situation. I have always looked up to him... the guy graduated from Berkeley. He seemed really stressed from the news. My parents noticed that I have changed and started stressing too. Therefore, I would rather learn to understand myself with the help of this board since only you guys are the only one who would truly understand the hardship of this tragedy. It really broke my heart when I learned that symptoms are likely to be permanent after a year. But I will pray, have faith, and be as optimistic as possible living the new me. If you guys can, would you guys be able to answer the questions scattered throughout the post... thanks!

supreme818,

The rude responses in social situations are not uncommon. I would suggest memorizing some responses. You can memorize a short bit about yourself. Also, a line for when a girl is hitting on you.

I need to sell myself with my business. I have the whole spiel memorized. My wife can overhear me and know exactly what I am going to say.

You need to accept that your normal responses may not be appropriate. You can then learn to withhold your normal response and take a breath, get composed, and respond with your memorized response.

You may want to memorize something about your Post Concussion Syndrome. Maybe something funny and self effacing like: I am recovering from a brain injury. Please tell me to shut up if I start babbling. I may get my 'merds wixed up'. Stress and noise can make it worse, like the stress of meeting a pretty girl/woman.

You might want to have some friends help you get your spiel memorized. Slow dawn. You are young and have plenty of time. There are plenty of UC students who have a minimal social life so they can graduate. Making study friends may make more sense. When your friend contacts have more structure to them, you may do better. The abstract social contacts may just overdo your brain.

Rrae is correct. You need to keep a journal. List your feelings, symptoms, triggers, and any other bits about your day. You will be able to look back and understand how to improve your day by seeing patterns of triggers.

I don't agree with her intensity of note taking. To me, it would increase the stress load. You will need to find your own level of comfort. Digital recorders can be helpful. I have tried many of these steps but I struggle to remember to use them. By the time I have the pen and paper ready to write the note, I have usually already forgotten what I was going to write down.

You may do good by repeating something to yourself audibly. Talk to yourself. The repeating may improve your recall.

Does your school have a psychology department? Maybe you can have a neuro-psychological assessment. It will help you understand what symptoms are real and what are just you over-reacting. The confirmation of symptoms will be worthwhile.

Nuff, for now.

My best to you.

These symptoms flare up from day to day. Its very inconsistent depending on the stress level. If i drank the night before, the next day would be an unproductive one. There are days where I feel as if im fine and days as if im walking through a fog. I guess I would have to put my social life aside for now and focus in school until i get better. any advice on improving my memory?

First, stay off the alcohol. Maybe a beer a day maximum. A hang-over is the brain's toxic reaction to the alcohol and its metabolites. Your brain is very sensitive to toxins.

There is some research that indicates that relapses (decompensations) of symptoms are a step backwards in your recovery. You want to avoid any activities that cause a return of symptoms. Otherwise you will find yourself on the roller coaster of getting better, getting worse, over and over again. The roller coaster can lead to serious depression not to mention mess up your grades.

There are plenty of students who have active college social lives without alcohol.

btw, were you ever a binge drinker from time to time? Especially as an adolescent? Research shows that adolescent binge drinking leaves your brain much more susceptible to later struggles, especially with alcohol. The adolescent brain is too busy trying to mature to tolerate the assault of alcohol.

I lived through decomps during college and know your struggles. It only took one beer to tell me how sensitive my post concussion brain was to alcohol. I was a mess the next day. My brother related later to me that he could tell that I was hung over. Wow, just one beer.

My neuro when I was a high school sophomore and having serious cognitive problems and absence seizures from a concussion during soccer had warned me to avoid alcohol.

would you think vision therapy be helpful? I notice my eyes wandering a lot when I think.

hi and welcome

the response of the eye,s is one of the few outward signs of injury, slow tracking,with the eye,s is indicative of slow processing and what I term white out moments, and slow verbal response, that causes us social problems , embarrassment, can turn to anger or anxiety at your age, self image is so important and your peers unsympathetic, us older ones , still have issues but maybe thicker skins

the above advice is all good, a second impact can trigger many things, not leased the feelings associated with vicious attack you suffered

believe me ,I know how that kind of thing can effect you

the guys and gurls here will help all we can, but a good nuro psychologist, and maybe some light therapy may help you also, and acknowledge, what you are going through

age is on your side

best wishes