I wasn't a person who was ruled by my feelings before but now I just get so angry and even bitter. I think I truely hate people now. I don't remember feeling this strongly about a person but now I really wish their life would fall apart so they would know how it feels. I get physicaly angry talking to these people or talking about them. I know that for them life moves on but it makes me so angry how they have just pushed me out and not even looked back. I was a children's Pastors for a large church for 10 years, and when I could not work I was let go. It was all done very shaddy, the board had no idea what was happening at the time, and neither did I at the time. These people I have called my family now don't call and hardly say hi when they see me like I am nothing or no one, they just keep going with smiles on their faces. I thought these people were my very close freinds but it turns out the moment I can not "perform" I am not needed and forgotten. They didn't even tell the kids and parents what really happened. I just disapeared. Are they embaressed?
I just get so mad sometimes. I feel so wronged and ripped off. I know that I should forgive and have understanding for them but I don't and maybe worse I don't care that I don't. I'm mad!!