[Abbilee]

Hello,

My name's Abbi (I'm in the UK) and I've been living with PCS symptoms for 7 months. I haven't worked since December, I'm experiencing depression and some anxiety and it all feels pretty hopeless and like I'm no closer to getting answers.
In the last month I've started to really struggle and I feel like I need more support from people who understand this, so I thought I'd try this forum.

I had an accident in December where I was assaulted at work by someone with mental health conditions (a patient). I was grabbed by the hair from behind and had my head yanked back, I also was hit in the back of the head a few times, but not very hard.
I sustained a whiplash injury from this. After the incident I suffered an intense headache which pain killers would not help and had bad headaches for the next month.
A month later I was in a minor car accident where someone went into the back of my car. I suffered whiplash and also a back injury.

Since the second accident I've been suffering from PCS-like symptoms:

• Slow processing (I have to stop people when they're explaining something to me, so that I can process the first thing they said. If they keep going I don't take any of it in and get what I call a brain meltdown. I get a headache and feel stressed and confused)
• Memory issues (I used to have a very good memory, now I have to check and recheck things with people they have already told me)
• Sensory overload (sometimes I feel overwhelmed by a lot of information, like when I was watching a show at a festival. I end up having to close my eyes, jam my fingers in my ears and lie down until I feel normal again)
• I find trying to deal with/weigh up different information at once very difficult, so find decision making really hard, even something as simple as choosing what I want to eat from a menu or buying a drink from a shop
• I find it hard to find the right words and use the wrong versions of words such as 'he didn't wanted to do that' or 'that would be a lot of pain to do' (I meant that would be a pain to do/that would be a lot of effort to do)
• When people dictate something to me to write down like an email address, I would say the letters out loud as I wrote them but would write different ones down, like I'd say 'A' but would write 'I'
• If I'm under pressure to say something, I just go blank, like if there are several people in a conversation and they're all listening to me, I just forget what I was saying and have to stop talking altogether
• Really clumsy, I keep tripping over, banging my head, knocking things over, I've never been like that before
• Difficulty concentrating (I find it really hard to stay on task and get very easily distracted)
• Memory problems/forgetfulness (I've always been very careful with my possessions, I rarely lost anything, but I am now doing things like forgetting to lock my car regularly, lost my credit card and driving license, leaving things at people's houses etc)
• Social mistakes (I keep making little social mistakes, like forgetting to say goodbye or forgetting to offer help or general polite things that I would always have done before)
• I have a lot of trouble sleeping, most nights I don't sleep well

There are loads more little things, I'm also suffering from depression which has gotten worse and sometimes anxiety, but not so much these days.

I've seen my GP more times than I can count and he has been very dismissive of my symptoms, telling me it's psychological. I eventually got him to refer me for an MRI which was clear.
I moved recently and started with a new GP who told me he thought I was stressed and that's what all the symptoms are from. He referred me for CBT, but the CBT people agreed with me that my symptoms are not likely to be from depression/anxiety/stress and they have referred me to a brain injury place for support (not treatment).

I saw a Psychiatrist for my claim (having to claim due to financial difficulties) and he said my symptoms are not due to depression etc and if I was his patient he would refer me to a neurologist. He told me to take the report he would write to my GP and ask for a referral.
I've now been referred to a neurologist for some very short sort of assessment, but this isn't until January and I'm sure that all that will happen is he will refer me on for neuropsychological tests, which could take another 4/5 months to be seen.

I'm so so tired of all this, the current situation is I'm not working, I'm depressed, I continue to experience the same symptoms (it's hard to tell but I don't feel like there has been much improvement. I keep notes of issues I have so I can tell if they reduce), I'm in financial difficulties because of not working, I still don't have a diagnosis and although I finally have a referral to neurology, I still feel like it will take a year to actually see someone.
I feel like my career has been ruined (I was going to apply to start my clinical training to become a clinical psychologist this December, but now I can't apply this year) and I'm really scared I will never get better, as I know some people don't and that most get better within a few months and from what I read, after this length of time, the prognosis isn't great.
It feels like there is no end in sight and I don't know how to get out of this hole I'm in. I want to work but have no confidence in my abilities at the moment, I have no idea what I can and can't do and am scared I won't be able to do things and will let people down.

I'm sorry if I haven't made much sense, I'm not great at ordering things anymore, but hopefully you'll understand my situation and maybe be able to help somehow, I don't know.
I just want some answers