[milesa7]

On March 9, 2011 my husband of ten years was in a motorcycle accident. He was traveling at about 60-70 mph when the motorcycle when the motorcycle hit the curb and then a light pole and he was thrown off the bike approximately 150 feet.

It was his brother's motorcycle, & of course it had bald tires.

He was in the ICU for 4 days, then the Neuro Trauma Unit for another 4 days then transferred as an in-patient to a Rehab facility until March 31, 2011. I spent every day and night at his side until we left the Rehab facility together.
He did not need any surgery in his brain but did have subdural/subarachnoid hematoma.

It has been 6 weeks since the accident and he seems to be getting better each day. His memory is getting better & I notice that he remembers us and our fights more than the good times. He remembers things like a jig- saw puzzle (in pieces, and not quite in order). He is very easily agitated and distracted by sudden noise. He is quick to yell at the kids and me.
He used to love me/us so very much and I feel like he hates me more than ever.
The saddest thing about all this is that we were separated before the accident.
On the Sunday before the accident (3/6/2011) he asked me to go on a date with him. We went to the movies and ate dinner at our favorite restaurant. He asked me to forgive him and for us to start all over. I insisted we take it slow. He came back over for dinner on Monday night. I cooked his favorite, chicken marasala and he brought my favorite wine. On Tuesday night we went and got a pedicure together and then we went to our 7 year old son's literacy night at his school, where he read a book he illustrated. When I came out he wasn't there so I thought he left. My son and I went to KFC to get us some dinner and he texted me asking where we were. I told him I thought he left. He came to KFC while we were in the drive thru. It was then I saw my husband of ten years for the last time before his accident. I didn't kiss him good-bye or told him how much I loved him.
On Wednesday morning, I got a terrifying call from his chief that he was in a motorcycle accident and was in critical but stable condition in the ICU.
When I finally got to see him that morning. He was on a ventilator, tape all over his face. His ankle was broken. He had badly bruised his lungs and had two broken ribs. He was heavily sedated and all I could do was cry and beg God to please give us a second chance.

I have been through so much these pass 6 weeks. His family have been ruthless in all of this. Thank God Texas is all about the WIFE...
I have felt like crawling in a hole and just dying on some occasions, but yet I have pushed and passed through it.
Every day he gets less agitated and hasn't yelled at the kids as much as when he first came home.
He doesn't call or text me like he used to, or even kiss me. He seems to have no emotions.
I know there are more women just like me who have had to deal with this very same thing. Please help me through this very tough time and tell me he will soon come back to me...

[Jeffrey]

Originally Posted by milesa7

On March 9, 2011 my husband of ten years was in a motorcycle accident. He was traveling at about 60-70 mph when the motorcycle when the motorcycle hit the curb and then a light pole and he was thrown off the bike approximately 150 feet.

It was his brother's motorcycle, & of course it had bald tires.

He was in the ICU for 4 days, then the Neuro Trauma Unit for another 4 days then transferred as an in-patient to a Rehab facility until March 31, 2011. I spent every day and night at his side until we left the Rehab facility together.
He did not need any surgery in his brain but did have subdural/subarachnoid hematoma.

It has been 6 weeks since the accident and he seems to be getting better each day. His memory is getting better & I notice that he remembers us and our fights more than the good times. He remembers things like a jig- saw puzzle (in pieces, and not quite in order). He is very easily agitated and distracted by sudden noise. He is quick to yell at the kids and me.
He used to love me/us so very much and I feel like he hates me more than ever.
The saddest thing about all this is that we were separated before the accident.
On the Sunday before the accident (3/6/2011) he asked me to go on a date with him. We went to the movies and ate dinner at our favorite restaurant. He asked me to forgive him and for us to start all over. I insisted we take it slow. He came back over for dinner on Monday night. I cooked his favorite, chicken marasala and he brought my favorite wine. On Tuesday night we went and got a pedicure together and then we went to our 7 year old son's literacy night at his school, where he read a book he illustrated. When I came out he wasn't there so I thought he left. My son and I went to KFC to get us some dinner and he texted me asking where we were. I told him I thought he left. He came to KFC while we were in the drive thru. It was then I saw my husband of ten years for the last time before his accident. I didn't kiss him good-bye or told him how much I loved him.
On Wednesday morning, I got a terrifying call from his chief that he was in a motorcycle accident and was in critical but stable condition in the ICU.
When I finally got to see him that morning. He was on a ventilator, tape all over his face. His ankle was broken. He had badly bruised his lungs and had two broken ribs. He was heavily sedated and all I could do was cry and beg God to please give us a second chance.

I have been through so much these pass 6 weeks. His family have been ruthless in all of this. Thank God Texas is all about the WIFE...
I have felt like crawling in a hole and just dying on some occasions, but yet I have pushed and passed through it.
Every day he gets less agitated and hasn't yelled at the kids as much as when he first came home.
He doesn't call or text me like he used to, or even kiss me. He seems to have no emotions.
I know there are more women just like me who have had to deal with this very same thing. Please help me through this very tough time and tell me he will soon come back to me...

Praying for the both of you at this time-

[Dmom3005]

I posted my main thoughts in the welcome.

But I'm so glad you joined us here. This is were you will get lots of
help. Remember to keep the faith.

Also don't worry about what someone that isn't helping with his recovery
things. Its what you and he that are doing the work thinks that counts.

Take care of yourself and the kids. Come with questions as they come up.

Donna

[katie71083]

I'm saying a little prayer for you right now.

I don't know if this helps, but from the perspective of the brain-injured I can tell you that I absolutely despised all the people that I was closest to after my concussion.

Some things to think about...

None of my antagonistic attitudes indicated any "real" feelings. I was truly angry at the time, but it had nothing to do with how I actually felt about the persons in question. I was angry and frustrated at the world in general.

I was hurting and desperate. I couldn't always control my actions, and as I realized how unkind they could be, that became an added problem.

I needed people at the same time that I was pushing them away. Oddly enough, one of the things that helped was getting a puppy.

I still struggle with my feelings toward people, though it is improving. As I recover, I can more often identify feelings and actions for what they really are - and sometimes help my friends to do the same.

If you can realize that these actions aren't personal - though they certainly seem that way - maybe that can help.

[SmilinEyesMs305]

As someone currently healing from PCS, I can't even imagine watching someone have the emotional issues I'm having from the outside...

I agree with previous posts... I am so incredibly frustrated with everything in my life right now, that it comes out against those trying help me, and I am completely unable to control myself sometimes...

It's like the worst PMS you can imagine, but 24/7 and your brain truly can't control you reactions at times... yet you and those around you are painfully aware of how harsh you treat them...

I hate having to look at my boyfriend after I've snapped at him for something completely unimportant, and say I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to... and then feel horrible because I've said this a million times before. My mom always taught me "sorry" means not committing the offense again. However with my PCS I would swear on a bible that there are times, I can't control the impulsivity or the anger.

I would imagine your husband is well aware of what he is doing, and is horrified at his inability to stop the harsh words or quick comments.... but trust me, if he could help himself, he would.... and not that you want to sympathize with someone who may seem to be unappreciative of all the love and support you and your family are giving him, I would bet that he feels really terrible about it. Keep hanging in there... he'll continue to realize he should be kissing the ground you walk on for putting up with him, =)

I have currently been put on an anti-depressant to try to help curb some of this, and have another appt in a week to address this continuing problem. Perhaps this might help your husband?

Although the neurological symptoms I've experienced have been very debilitating... it has been the emotional issues, anxiety, depression, anger that have resulted from my injury that I seemingly have no control over, that are the hardest to deal with. Because I am normally a very calm, very balanced person.. and right now I feel like I'm completely out of control, and it scares me...

I need the love and support of those around me, and yet my brain continues to try to push them away... it's makes me feel even more helpless...

But I also know, knowing that my boyfriend has stuck by me through this very dark time, makes me appreciate him more and more everyday. It is making us stronger together... and I'm sure will help strengthen you family when all is said and done.

[nightnurse30]

So sorry you and your family are going through this. I am currently a PCS victim of 8 weeks. But i am also an ICU nurse, and for a few years, my specialty was Neurosurgery, so i have had countless pts with SDH and SAH. They are very debilitating conditions alone, but together, along with other traumas to his body will make him feel completely out of control. No control over his emotions, health, his thoughts, his body, inability to work....all things that can wreak havoc on a mans self esteem and confidence. I always have SAH patients for 2-4 weeks in the ICU due to vasospasm and i always see the same thing....they all become withdrawn, short, moody, agitated, and irritable. Its inevitable. The normal neurotransmitters their brains produce and normal synapses are not firing as they should be. If the injury was in the front of his head, a frontal injury....the personality changes are even more severe as that is where our emotions, impulse control, decision making, and planning all come from. Frontal injuries are usually the cause of severe personality changes. I agree with the last post about looking into antidepressants....its not a show of defeat or being weak, but just because his brain does not have the ability to produce those chemicals needed to keep us even or mild tempered. Best of luck to you, and remember this is a long road. He is still in there, it will just take time.

[Jstalboin]

Well...in a case like this I guess the only thing we can do is keep the faith. That is the number one thing we can do. As I'm sure you know, an injury to the brain can sometimes take years to recover and in some cases there will never be full recovery. A friend of mine who I have known for 3 years now suffered a real serious brain injury 10 years ago where she forgot everything and she was very irritable too for a long time. Now she is doing quite well. There is hope! It just takes patience and faith. Hang in there.
~Jenna

[Jstalboin]

Recently, I have been doing some research on Brain Injuries and I found an interesting article...you all may want to check this out: http://www.brookslawgroup.com/blog/b...and-will-help/
I hope this helps for some of you.