[heisenberg]

Hi all,

Have been reading the forum for a while now and have been inspired by your stories and courage. Apologies for the long post but this is me trying to summarise my story (which is still continuing), as a quest for both understanding and ultimate recovery. Any help is greatly appreciated.

I suffered my first and only concussion almost 6 months ago. I don't remember it happening but I fainted, fell down some stairs and unfortunately smashed my head. It was quite a solid concussion.. I don't remember the trip to hospital, waking up, or a CT scan I had while fully conscious. We worked out I had approximately 2.5 hours of post concussive amnesia. My MRI also showed some microhemorrhages to the brain.

So that was the injury. I went back to work after a week of rest and for the first few days was fine. Started experiencing some racing thoughts/anxiety which just compounded day by day into a state of constant extreme anxiety/panic. Went back to the neurologist who prescribed me Xanax and at my request referred me to a psychiatrist.

I had just started having some anxiety in the couple of months prior to the concussion after a 'panic attack' of sorts on recreational drugs. The anxiety was mild and specific to a group of friends and I had actually dealth with and eliminated it in the several weeks before the accident. But I think once I started feeling strange post concussion I attributed it to my earlier problem and started a vicious cycle.

The psychiatrist diagnosed me with panic disorder and said antidepressants were the only way. I wanted to at least try and work through it naturally first so took myself off Xanax after 2 weeks and started exercising and meditating regularly. I also got another opinion, and they were happy for me to work through it drug free in addition to some CBT which I was all for.

So have been doing that since.. had plenty of time for exercise/meditation/rest as have been studying full time. Improved alot in the last few months to the point where I am completely calm, comfortable, happy at home by myself or with loved ones.

My problem that remains is a feeling of uncomfortableness (anxiety??) around people, which has impacted on my social life. I've been told I have panic disorder but never have full blown panic attacks with phsysical symptoms. I've also been told I have social anxiety, but I have always been extremely social and still have full confidence in my personality when I am relaxed enough to show it.

Now I am trying to identify what happens to trigger my anxiety or uncomfortableness as it seems quite random. The thing I've noticed in the last couple of weeks is that it is actually in big groups when there are alot of different people talking that I start feeling uncomfortable. I then get introspective and get ready for the anxiety to kick in. But now I'm identifying a feeling of pressure in my head and wondering if it could actually be overstimulation that is bothering me?

In the first few weeks I had typical post concussive symptoms like poor concentration and memory problems. But once the anxiety kicked in it really took over and has been the focus ever since, to the exclusion of anything else. I guess I'm just wondering if its all mental or there could still be some physical symtpoms e.g. overstimulation that are and have been bothering me and triggering the anxiety.

Wow just realised how ridiculously long this post is. Was going to try to edit it down but too hard.. may as well leave it now that its all there. Understand if noone even reads this but if you do and have any feedback would love to hear it.

Thanks and good luck on your journey to recovery