I swear when I found this forum a couple days ago i was feeling good and was excited about the acupuncture stopping the pain in my head. I hate to be on here part of bad news whining crap. But I think i was so excited about the pain stopping that I thought I was going to be back to normal. but I still can not talk to people. my family or girl friend that I was engaged to. I had to ask her to not email me any more and to forget about me because I do nothing but make stuff worse. I knew i had to when not to long ago when she was frustraded she said she just dose not have the energy to take care of 2 children. basically me and her daughter. and she was right it did not seem fair.

But I feel right now like a nother last string time. My mom just dropped off i do not know why a ruler or yard stick that was my grampas from his hardware store in halbur iowa. My dad died when I was 14 adn i think my grampa died before that. but i am named after him and this ruler was at least 30 years old that some one had been taking care of. I kow it sounds stupid but in 20 minutes of me having it i forgot about it and closed the garage door on it and it is now gone. i can not tell my family about it. I know it seems like a little thing but it is not to me. And it may have been the least stupid thing I have done since my brain is worthless but it feels like I can not take any more.

I just can not believe that there is not some place where they can just lock me up and nock me out even like a loony bin padded room or some thing until my brain is normal again.