[Kelly50179]

I am back in college for the first time since December 2010. Although I am only taking 12 hours, every day is a struggle. Last week in my physics lab, my head felt the worst it has ever felt. I felt unbelievably nauseous and kept going to the bathroom because I thought I was going to throw up. Each passing minute I was trying not to pass out. Inevitably, I had one of the worst panic attacks I've ever had. My teacher had to call the EMT people. It was awful.

I am on 100 mg of Zoloft for the post-concussive anxiety/panic attacks I get when I overexert my brain, but no amount of medicine would've stopped that panic attack.

On my worst days, I also feel extremely disoriented. It's like I'm not even in my body. I can't explain it. I almost feel like if I was any more disoriented, I wouldn't even know where I was.

Basically, I'm getting worse.. than I've ever been. Is this dangerous? I feel like I'm going to keep pushing through this until I completely break and something bad happens.

I played collegiate soccer and have, without a doubt, sustained a good number of concussions in the 15 years that I played. The thing that got me was playing on my symptoms for a week last October 2010. I have had two major relapses, one in January 2011 after being released to run and one in June 2011 after the UB return to exercise program.

One way to look at it is: my brain has, and will always have, limitations. In other words, this is permanent, and I should treat it as an "illness" so to speak and make accommodations.

Another way to look at it is: I will one day be somewhat fully recovered (maybe even able to consistently exercise or run!) and I am only prolonging my recovery by being in school right now and overexerting my brain.

I'm seeing a neurologist here asap, I just don't know what to do..?