[bh_pcs]

Reading the few threads about losing friends while under PCS, I'm guessing it has more to do with irritability instead of friends not totally understanding the situation, is that correct?

Right now, I have the uncontrollable feeling that everyone I'm friends with, especially those who haven't reached out, are fake and B.S. Am I being too harsh or is this just part of my personality changes? Or is the condition just amplifying those little voices that existed but were quelled/filtered before the concussion?

In any respect, I'm confused.

[Mark in Idaho]

This was discussed at brain injury support group and tonight as my wife and I had dinner with a survivor if brain injury.

There are a few issues at play here. The most likely issue is a personality change that you are oblivious too. The other issues is like you said, they do not understand or know how to relate to the symptoms you manifest.

One of the symptoms of mTBI is rigidity of thought. This is when one struggles to consider other ways of thinking about an issue or situation. This is likely, at least in my experience, the most problematic area. Your friends are friends because they knew how to relate to you and understand you.

This was based on commonalities in being flexible or inflexible in the issues that may come up between you. For example, Agreeing to disagree about religion but needing to agree for the most part about political issues. If all of a sudden, you cannot agree to disagree about religion but feel the need to force your opinion on others, they will likely back away.

The permutations of interpersonal conflicts is large so it is easy to disrupt this apple cart.

Add to these issues the fact that you are still struggling to understand the many facets of your current condition and the Pandora's box is not only opened, it has been strewn about.

Our dinner guests have been together for 6 years and married for 3 years yet there are volumes of information for them to still learn about their relationship of a TBI survivor husband with a non-TBI wife. He is 16 years post injury, studying psycho-therapeutic counseling at a graduate level and still is learning daily about how he is impacting others.

My suggestion is to first try to better understand the changes in yourself. As you gain understanding, you can develop better skills with those around you. We all go through this.

The irritable nature or as many of us have come to terms with it, explosive nature, is a real symptom and it impacts others more than any other PCS symptom. It scares them, confuses them, and can outright offend them and push them away. When we start to take ownership of this symptom rather than excuse it, we can start to limit how it impacts others.

Standing back and trying to recognize the triggers that cause the irritability to become a problem can be our biggest challenge. The effort to do it can be the greatest chance for personal growth available to us.

Yes, it is hard and humbling, even humiliating at times. But, the effort is well worth it. Even if the excessive irritability goes away, it is a life skill that will reap huge benefits.

Just know that you are not alone. If this forum needs to become you safe haven, we are glad to have you. Hopefully, we will not be to irritable.

My best to you.