I recently started having this problem. I'm having random thoughts of hurting myself or loved ones. It's very confusing, and it's taking a toll on me because I would NEVER EVER do something like that. Why on earth am I having thoughts about doing things that I would never even dream of doing? The more I try to get them out of my head, the deeper they seem to imprint. I was reading around online and it seems to be a symptom of GAD and OCD. Wondering if I should mention this to my neurologist...I just don't want him to think I'm crazy.

I had a similar problem before my injury that was a little less frightening, compared to the thoughts I'm having now - I would be standing there talking to someone and have a vision of me punching them in the face. So I guess I've always had this problem but it's just recently got worse. Weird.

I was really hesitant to mention it to anyone too... I didn't want them to cart me off to a psych ward. So far, it seems to help that I mention I have no intentions of doing anything about the thoughts and have no plans to act on them. I've been able to discuss them with my primary doctor and my counselor without anything wackadoo happening. They are sending me off to a psychiatrist, but I guess that seems appropriate, no?

A couple years back, I began to seriously consider suicide as a final resolution. It was after an almost 2-year period where I was experiencing bad migraine headaches every day. This wasn't some quirky brain pathology (though I have those, too), but a calm, logical analysis of a situation that seemed close to hopeless.

I'm still here posting in an internet forum, so I must have decided against. Interestingly, it was a spiritual dialog that kept me going. I began to understand that there is an afterlife, that there are rather serious consequences on the other side if you terminate your own life, and that suicide accomplishes nothing but make your situation even worse than it is now.

Did you have injury to a frontal lobe?

Displaced feelings of aggression and violence are a hallmark of frontal TBI. Raw, primitive emotions are generated by the brain's limbic system, located in and about the more protected areas of the mid-brain. Executive functions such as impulse control are normally mediated in the frontal cortices. When this function is compromised, there is no way to check those primitive feelings.

I am actually working on some theories on this specific problem, and some possible remedial techniques. When these raw emotions come up for me, I use a rather unexpected mental technique, and am having success. The natural reaction is for a normal, civilized person to fight such morally repugnant thoughts. Instead, I do the opposite- I mentally validate the feelings. I tell myself that violent thoughts are a natural component of the brain's more primitive areas, and evolved as survival tools for the species. I must not jugde myself for thinking this way (as horrible as some of these thoughts get). Then secondly, I consciously try to create positive thoughts to balance the negative feelings.

I have found that trying to fight negative emotions serves only to strengthen them. It's like fanning a flame- instead of putting the fire out, it makes the fire worse. Sounds like you have found this to be true as well. But countering them with positive thoughts allows you to achieve balance- and this is what turns down the heat. You can even imagine creating positive feelings that are stronger than the negative ones. Instead of fighting the anger, envelope it.

I have been playing around with this method for over a year now, and must say my anger sessions are much more contained and short-lived. Perhaps someone else can give this a try and provide some feedback.

Thanks for your input and yes I had a left frontal lobe hematoma.

It's kinda funny how it's happening now, it will be completely washed from my mind and then I'll start thinking; "Hey I haven't had any thoughts of....oh crap, there they are again". So what I've been doing is keeping myself busy throughout the day and when a thought comes up about hurting someone I love or myself I just turn it around and think how much I love that person. So like your saying, turning a negative into a positive or balancing it.

This has been adding to my anxiety and depression so I'm thinking about asking for another prescription of Prozac (the first script I threw away, didn't think I needed it) and see if that helps.

Don't ask for Prozac. Find a psychiatrist and let him/her decide which med is best for you. Prozac is the oldest SSRI and there are better meds since it came out.

Get to the specialist right away. You have your son who needs you in a safe mindset. Thinking you can think your way out of these aberrant thoughts is how babies get hurt. Asking for help is a sign of maturity.

Call someone and tell them, "I have suffered a brain injury and sometimes I get these disturbing thoughts that scare me. I don't want to be a risk to myself or my baby so can you get me to some help?"

Try calling Clark County Mental Health. They have programs for just this kind of situation.

My best to you.

I'm probably going to do that but my main concern is...I'm taking my fiance to court to get joint custody of my son, even though we are together I just want to get that out the way in case anything ever happens she can't leave with him, and I'm afraid if the courts find out about this I'm not going to be able to see my son no more.

nwsmith1984 : I had a minimal frontal and temporal lobe brain bleeding (brain contusion). Drugs can help if only you find the a right psychiatrist. The one I saw gave me Abilify and throw that drug away. He doesn't know what he was dealing with and just wanted to push the drug I think. For me Xanax helped to control that thoughts and now I am not on any medications. Some medicines like Cymbalta made my feeling worse.

Kenjhee: I completely understand what you saying and spiritual path helped me a lot. Meditation and Neuro feedback also controlled that feeling. As you said I am here typing so I didn't do it. I use the techniques you mentioned like positive thinking, what if it is worst after life and overall try to stay positive. But still some times I get that feeling, especially when my symptoms flares up. I even feel terrible when I think "Why did I think about killing myself"? Overall it got better since I am finding new way to control my symptoms without any drugs.

Re: replacing bad thoughts
 

I just wanted to add something to this thread. I have been counciled that when pain exceeds a persons coping skills, thats when some bad thoughts can happen. I got the council, and I have turned to a more spiritual existance. We are made of energy, and energy does not die, it goes on. We are also a mind body connection. They rule together. I meditate, and read alot. Reading helps me to focus on better things. I am not depression free, but my existance is much better. I hope all of you can find those coping things that you can do to remove any negative thoughts. Be at peace and I wish all of you a good and healthy season. ginnie:idea::santa:

Nice thoughts, Ginnie, Pcslife, everyone. I think I am finally starting to get a grip on the whole negative thinking thing, especially the anger. I've also used meditation a lot. I also use some of the mental techniques used by the Samurai.

Roger on the pain thing, too. That sounds so right on, how pain pushes you past the coping thresshold, and the negativity ensues. I understand that equation better than I care to. I just wish a certain Superior Court of California could see it, too (don't worry, nobody physically hurt).