I'm new to the forums & let me start off saying WHEW, it is a HUGE relief to know I am NOT crazy & that other people are suffering from the same symptoms that I am! For the past 5 months I have felt like I was being such a whiny baby & I feel like everyone is annoyed with my constant issues. The personality changes, which is such a huge issue for me to accept I miss who I used to be, the cheery, silly noise making, slightly spastic individual. Plus the fatigue, the haziness, forgetting words or as I like to call them "brownouts"...just feeling so...airheaded, spacey & disconnected. I don't know of anyone personally that can relate so I don't even bother talking about it with pretty much all of my friends.

To start this off I got my first concussion in the beginning of July of this year while doing a drill for roller derby. I was supposed to be getting hit to the outside (receiving a hit on the left side of my body) and when I was completely relaxed and unprepared for a hit a girl nailed me on the right side in my face/cheek area. I fell to the floor, smacked my head and shook it off. I told my coach I needed a minute & after that proceeded to move onto another drill! After that I was confused and somewhat amused at the fact I couldn't remember anyone's name & thought nothing of it. So I drove home, feeling slightly off the whole time and went to bed (stupid, stupid, stupid, I know!).

The next day I was an emotional roller coaster. I was more depressed than I have ever been, I was ridiculously angry & it was just back and forth with sad, upset, angry. I noticed that I was very unstable while walking, extremely tired, nauseous, headaches, uncomfortable etc etc. A friend of mine that's a boxer was like "You sound like you have a concussion, go to the doctor!" I was instructed by the doctor to take it easy for 2 weeks minimum, no gym (I go 6 days a week) no derby (3 days a week) NOTHING. Ugh. I felt (what I thought) better about 3 weeks later and returned to skating but the fatigue was killing me. I had very little endurance, my legs were constantly aching, couldn't breathe, constantly felt light headed. Very frustrating when I'm generally ahead in the drills, one of the fastest skaters we have and very explosive in my movement. My body didn't want to cooperate, it didn't want to explode and take the quick holes in the pack...I just got so beat up :\ That's right folks, I continued to play derby these past few months...a very full contact (not fake like some may think) sport! I'm the jammer, the one that everyone tries to beat up!

Fast forward to now! What triggered me to go back to the doctor was the fatigue. Not just in derby but in every day life. I can't make it to 10AM without wanting a nap. My eyes ache constantly because I'm so tired, they're puffy, I have dark circles under them. I sleep (well try) about 7 hours a night, some weeks it'll be good, other times I'm miserable and almost cry because I'm so frustrated from tossing and turning. I thought I may be anemic for other reasons, turns out I'm not, hemoglobin looked good. I went to my regular doctor and she asked about injuries in the past year and I mentioned the concussion - not even thinking for a second that it was still affecting me!

I had a CAT scan done, of course it showed nothing. I have a neurologist appointment on Monday and I'm not sure what to expect. I'm just hoping I'm on the right track to some sort of normalcy and the possibility of not being able to skate absolutely kills me. Roller derby is my life, to be a part of something so incredible and the thought of not being able to do it anymore is devastating. I'm not bullheaded...completely! I do realize health and my well being now & into the future is the most important.