I see all these posts complaining about how long their recovery is taking but from these same posters, I don't sense much effort is accepting the current symptoms and learning to work-around, work-with, or accommodate them.

The biggest detriment to recovery is STRESS. Stress effects good sleep. It causes relational stresses. It impacts just about every single body function.

I went so far as moving 650 miles away to an area with much less traffic, social tension, political tension, noise, pollution, etc. And this was prior to my injury of Jan 16, 2001. I had suffered 2 concussions, one in 1996 and another in June 1999. Both demonstrated how the stress of the San Jose area was being counterproductive to my life.

There are others on this forum who have made changes to lower stress levels and are doing better because of it.

We need to reinvent our lives, at least in the short term, to lower stress so our brains can heal as much as possible.

The simple fact is NOBODY recovers 100%. This fact is supported by research. Stress is the primary cause of any return or prolonging of symptoms. Take someone who thinks they have recovered 100% and put them in a stressful situation. Bam, at least some of their symptoms will return. They may falsely attribute the problems to something else due to the disconnect from the prior concussion.

So, reinvent a lower stress life, get better where you can, accept those things that did not recover to your liking and learn ways to successfully live with them.

Give up on any desire to return to multi-tasking. Recent research shows that the human brain is not very tolerant of the stresses of multi-tasking. Our injured brains are just putting a more severe limit on the multi-tasking habits.

CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) can teach you how to change reactionary stressful thinking to lower stress concepts. But as the psychologist joke goes, You have to want to change.

There is life after concussion. There is no promise that it will be the same. But, that does not mean it can not be full and meaningful.

Make better day to day choices and stop thinking that someone else is going to fix you.

I can look back at my life and see the small permanent losses from each concussion. When I took steps to reduce stress, those small losses became less noticeable. Put me in the midst of a stress mess and all of my symptoms come blaring back full force. Katie bar the door, the monster is back, or the zombie.

This is not a "Is the glass half empty or half full question." The question is simpler. Is the glass that we want to be full just TOO BIG?

A few of us have the advantage of age. We lived in the days when daily life was much simpler. I remember when the only things that were instant were Minute Rice and Instant Coffee. People had to take time to do daily life.

Kids played outside in their own neighborhood. They organized their own activities if they wanted to. Pick-up games of baseball, football, street hockey (in Keds), hide and seek, tag, etc.

Now, the entire month is filled up with 'organized' (by adults) activities. Adults use day-timers or smart phones to squeeze every minute of every day. No time to make a cup of coffee and sit down and enjoy it. We complain about not enough cup holders in our cars. We get addicted to and/or dependent on Tweets, texts, GPS, that add more stress to our days. We need zero calorie 'energy' drinks to make it through our days. We consume zero nutrition 'food.'

Then, we complain about getting hurt and needing to wait for our bodies to recover.

Yea right.....

My best to you all.

Mark, sometimes it's hard to make such changes. I'm not saying it's impossible...but put yourself in my position. I got a late start on life. When I got to middle school, I became a trouble maker and started ditching school, smoking pot (plus other drugs) and breaking car windows. Why? I can't answer that question...I was a kid. This lasted all the way until I was in my early 20's. I got locked up for a year in 2007...when I got out in 2008, I turned my life around...I started working full-time jobs, got a car, my license, my own apartment and started thinking about my future.

I got laid off in 2010, broke up with my psychotic ex-girlfriend, left her alone at the apartment we were staying in and moved in with a friend...I wanted more out of life, realized that working dead-end jobs were getting me nowhere...so I started looking in to school...and that's when I got hit in the head and my life changed. Now I can't work, I can't go to school, I have little to no money...and my family is middle-classed. They don't have the money to support me, help me get on my feet and in to my own place. I'm stuck living with my mom and 3 younger siblings, plus a nephew and 2 annoying little dogs.

We had a discussion awhile back and you suggested that I move in to a weekly, or rent a room from someone. I'm on Unemployment. I worked 2 jobs my entire life that were close to minimum wage that both lasted a year each. I'm getting hardly anything. Right now I'm struggling to pay $200 a month to my mom and keep up with the costs of having a son. So what do I do?

I've found ways to work around my flaws, I see tiny improvements here and there but I can only do so much while living with a house full of people that hardly respect me. My mom expects too much from me, my younger siblings don't listen to me when I ask them to keep it down and the father of my sister's kid comes over playing music and rapping after I've asked him numerous times to stop.

Last night, I sat down with my mom and I told her I can't help my sister get her and her son to their doctor's appointments anymore. I finally admitted that I'm just not capable of helping anyone. I can barely help myself. It was hard on her but she accepted it...today we talked about it again and she apologized to me for being so hard on me and thanked me for everything I've done for my siblings.

Stress...my life is full of it. My ex-fiance has my son right now, I can take him if I want...but having full custody and no help with him is counter-productive to my recovery. I will never get any rest, I will never have peace and quiet. She's too incompetent to take care of him on her own...3 days ago she took him to the ER and they sent him home saying if he doesn't get better in a couple days to bring him back. He is still sick. In fact he's worse and what does she do? Nothing.

I'm stuck. I want to get out on my own again but I'm disabled and broke. I'm buying a used car in a week with money my mom is giving me out of her taxes, after that I have nothing but the pebbles that Unemployment gives me. When my SS gets accepted, I'll only be getting $10 more a month.

So, explain to me what someone in my position should do. You moved 650 miles away to get away from noise, etc. I can't do something like that. I don't have a wife that works and I don't have money saved up.

This is my life right now, in a can. I could keep going but you get the picture. It's partially my fault for being such a screw up in my early years, but it's really the (insert favorite insult here) that hit me in the head for no reason that ruined my future.

I've formed somewhat of a plan for the future, but it involves me healing a bit more before I can do it. I want to get in to the buying used cars at the auction, fixing them up and selling them on Craigslist deal. It's profitable and doesn't take much effort...but my brain just can't handle that kind of work right now. Maybe some day if I can ever find a healing chamber...

...or a magic brain injury pill.

These are all excellent points, but I still don't think doctors should be telling mTBI patients categorically that they're not going to get any better after a year. Not only does this seem to be inaccurate (at least, as a stand-alone statement), it also seems likely to cause patients undue stress, thereby potentially impeding their recovery.

Better to give them accurate information *and* good advice about promoting recovery.

Nick,

I am sorry if you thought my comments were directed at you. They were meant to be generic.

Now that you have told us more about your life, more of your struggles make sense. Your past drug abuse is likely making your recovery worse. I suggest you toss out any ideas of recovery based on the statistics of mTBI/PCS alone. You are recovering from a TBI and your past. You have a lot of recovering to do. My heart goes out to you and anyone else making the decision to clean up their life.

I disagree with your analysis of caring for your son. With proper focus and attention, he can become a well behaved addition to your recovery. You under-estimate yourself. You have already made some hard choices. You have the strength to continue making hard but good choices regarding your son.

I remember the times when my son and I would take naps together. On some days, I took him to work with me. My wife was not working. We had lost our 3 homes to foreclosure and were living in a rental. A real estate developer had ripped us off for $250,000. We had an infant at home so we were living hand to mouth. Our car had been repossessed with the car seats in them. We were not even close to being middle class. I was recovering from a nervous breakdown from all this stress when I learned to use nutrition to get healthy. We were making payments on a Chapter 13 bankruptcy, too.

We dug in. Lived cheaply. And stuck it out and I recovered and my family flourished. It was ten years before I needed to file income taxes because our income was so low. By then, we had three kids and still only my income.

Back to your son, There are lots of simple activities you can do with him that will be therapeutic for your brain. Little guys love to explore their world. Help him learn to sit and watch a millipede slowly climb a branch of a plant. Get some books at Goodwill (They have lots of them) with descriptions of the outdoors. Then, go looking for examples of those pictures. Teach him the alphabet and his numbers.

Think of your time with him as your chance to give him a better chance at life than you had. His mom is definitely not giving him a good chance.

If you get approved for Social Security Disability benefits, you will be able to apply for 50% more to care for your son.

Talk with your mother about getting some authority at home. Your siblings should be told to obey you. <the father of my sister's kid comes over playing music and rapping after I've asked him numerous times to stop.> This creep needs to be TOLD to shut up. He is not paying your rent.

Check at your church to see if there are any people with a room to rent cheap. Some empty nesters may enjoy having you and your son around. $200 to $400 per month for a room can go a long way in today's economy. If never hurts to ask. With full custody of your son, he can improve your chances for other help. Yes, it will be hard. But, you already have a hard living situation. Could it get any worse?

At least if you were on your own, you would be able to avoid the negatives of your mom's place. If you feel a need to help her, that time passed when you had your own child. You have far too much load of your own to carry.

Have you participated in any single dad groups? The support may be worthwhile. Deciding to be a full time dad could be your best way to move forward.

My best to you.

greenfrog said <Better to give them accurate information *and* good advice about promoting recovery. >

The accurate information would correctly be "We don't know when you will recover." Those who do not spontaneously recover within the first 6 weeks are left in a no-mans land of no valid information. As for good PCS advice coming from most doctors, It ain't gonna happen. Low stress and good rest are about as good as it gets. Most don't ever recommend nutritional improvements.

Hundreds of research studies have been done to find any commonalities regarding prolonged PCS. The only conclusion they come to is that there is no rhyme or reason to PCS recovery statistics. Further, they can find no correlation between recovery and intensity of the head impact.

There are two ways prolonged symptoms and recovery are discussed. Some will use the one year as a threshold. Others simply state the obvious: The longer symptoms persist, the greater the chance that they will be permanent or at least very long term.

A challenge to long term studies is that the subjects drop off the radar from a medical records perspective. Doctors get tired of hearing their complaints so they either stop complaining and/or seeing that doctor or the doctors make minimal records of those complaints. Keep putting the patient off and they eventually go away.

I agree 100%...especially with that last part. I realized that after the first neurologist's NP referred me to a psychiatrist and didn't ask me to schedule another appointment with their office.

Mark, I didn't at all see your post directed at me. I just seen an open window to explain my situation a little more in detail. Sorry if it was a little too much. I just wanted to make a point that for some of us it's not that easy. It was a vent, a cry for help, and a way to document my situation in case someone in the future browses this forum and can relate to my struggles.

This injury happened at a bad time. My son was born the month before. That day at the hospital when I held my son for the first time, I became a different person. I started looking in to the future, how his life was going to be if I didn't start building a foundation...Then everything came crashing down on me :(.

About the 50% increase...do I need full custody to do that? I got your message titled "Custody". It made me do a lot of thinking. I haven't made my decision yet. I also haven't felt good enough lately to deal with the people at Equal Rights of Divorced Fathers. They are handling my case...a lot of thinking involved when I go there.

I'll get everything figure out. I just need some time.

Last night WAS the talk about authority at the house. I made the entire household clear of what needs to be done. The father of my sister's baby is really ghetto and hard-headed. I've TOLD him to knock it off. It works for half the day (if even that) and then the music is back on again. I could whoop him out easily, but that's taking a risk of getting hit in the noggin. Not what I need right now.

Sounds like you've had your share of struggles in the past, too. It's good to hear that you pulled through. I'm hoping one day I'll have the mind-power to put together a sure-fire plan for me and my son's future.

You said (At least if you were on your own, you would be able to avoid the negatives of your mom's place. If you feel a need to help her, that time passed when you had your own child. You have far too much load of your own to carry.)

I realized that last night. That's what brought on the talk.

Thank you for the suggestions...I'll try the church thing once I have a day that I'm able to make it out of the house without getting disoriented.

Haven't tried any single dad groups yet. I'm still sensitive to everything...I can't handle being in a group. I went through the drive-thru the other day at McDonalds...after speaking with the drive-thru attendant, paying for my meal and driving off, I became "confused". This lasted 24 hours. I tried CBT. Couldn't keep up with what the guy was saying, my brain was tied in a knot to the point I couldn't speak. Never went back.

I wanted to comment on drug abuse before a brain injury some more. This will give some hope for anyone that struggled with drug abuse before or after their TBI....

My ex-fiance and I have a mutual friend that was a meth addict, pothead and an alcoholic. He was struck by a vehicle while riding his bicycle and suffered a severe traumatic brain injury. The back of his head has a dent in it...this was roughly 10 years ago. Today, the only ill effects he suffers are occasional seizures and light headaches. According to him, everything else healed back to normal.

He even told me he continued to struggle with drug abuse after his injury. The brain is an amazing thing...you can say what you want but I believe that there is always hope for a very close to full recovery.

I'm not at all saying that you should continue to do drugs after your brain injury, so don't get the wrong idea. He was very lucky to only be cursed with mild seizures and headaches. That would be considered a blessing.

You friend's head aches and mild seizures show that he has not come close to a full recovery. He may be fully functional, especially from the perspective of a current or former meth addict but when his brain is stressed, his drug use and head injury will be blatantly evident.

We can all aspire to recovering to full functionality but we will never achieve a full recovery physiologically. The damaged brain does not regrow brain cells. It can only grow axons and dendrites. Even reading self-help books does not stimulate recovery or regrowth as it appears a therapist has claimed.

Nick, you will need to have full custody of your son to get the additional benefits from SSDI. btw, I thought you had mentioned that your son was 2 years old. It sounds like he is not even 1 year old yet. If I understand correctly, you were injured last June and your son was born the month before which would be May.

You are approaching the fabulous age of infants, when they are becoming more interactive with their environment, crawling around and pulling up on things. Talk to him in a soft adult voice and he will respond better and sooner. Infants understand voice inflection very well by 6 weeks old. It is important to be cognizant of this ability so you can purpose to keep their stress levels low, too.

Keep in mind that you can call the cops and file a disturbing the peace complaint against your sister's son's father. Do you have a recording device of any kind? Hold him accountable with a firm but controlled voice. Then, call the cops to enforce that accountability. Your peace and your son's peace are the critical issues. Tell him to he can go make noise at his place.

I was not offended by your comments. Don't feel guilty. I have tough skin having lived on the outside for most of my life due to my PCS personality issues.

My best to you all.

Mark,

My ex-fiance's son is approaching 2 years old. So maybe that's where you got that from? My son was born 5/20/11. He is 8 months. I just wanted to thank you for the tips you gave me on parenting...it means a lot to me.

About my sister's baby's father...yeah. I will take that in to consideration. He was pretty chill today...he stopped by and visited with his son quietly and then left. Last night I told him to turn the music down and lower his voice because I was going to sleep. He listened to me. Maybe he's starting to get the picture?

You said (I was not offended by your comments. Don't feel guilty. I have tough skin having lived on the outside for most of my life due to my PCS personality issues.)

I was apologizing if the information I gave about my past was too much. I just felt that I needed to explain my past in order for you, or anyone, to truly understand what I'm going through.

Nick

Doctor said "you're fine".

1.5 years later, I'm not.

That was easy.