[Mark in Idaho]

I thought this was worth a repost for some of the newbies struggling with their PCS.

The Facts of Life
I just read a column expounding on how some people refuse to accept the facts of life. This writer commented that this is more common among the younger people. It diminishes as the person becomes older and wiser and begins accepting the facts of life as FACT.

Those who refuse to accept the Facts of Life tend to live a life of turmoil and emotional ups and downs.

The same can be said for those who suffer from mTBI. Their denial of the facts of mTBI/PCS are supported by the well-meaning professionals and others in their sphere of contact. Sure, we all want our brains to heal to like new conditions. But that concept goes against the Facts of Life.

All brain injuries leave residual symptoms. The science has shown this FACT decades ago. Fortunately, for most those symptoms are of little consequence to their seeking a full and unlimited life experience. For the rest, there is a wide range of impact these persistent symptoms wreak on their attempts at a full and unlimited life.

In my experience and belief and the experience and belief of others, the willingness to accept the facts of mTBI/PCS leads to an increase in the ability to lead a fulfilling and less limited life. Banging our heads against the wall as we refuse to accept the changes in our lives is of no help as we also hope to recover. In fact, the stress of this anxiety is detrimental to recovery not to mention our daily comfort.

Case in point. For the past three months, I can be found with my head under a car hood or entire body under a car on jack stands as I try to repair problems others did not consider worth repairing. I consistently misplace parts and tools. I even make glaring errors that magnify my job ahead. Last week, I had to make six tries with six pieces of material to just make two parts. A few days ago, I made some error when reassembling an automatic transmission that I did not realize until the transmission was fully installed and I road tested the car. Even then, I spun my wheels wasting expensive automatic transmission fluid as I tried to resolve my error or oversight.

I would start to get frustrated and even angry. I had to make a choice to stop myself and let go of my frustration. Instead, I tried to learn if I could. Tomorrow, I hope to have the whole transmission out, correctly reassembled and reinstalled in the car. If I do it, I will have learned that I can improve my skills. What previously took 30 or so hours, I will have done in hopefully less than 10 hours. I made enough mistakes the first time. Hopefully, I will not make as many the second time.

Fortunately, my wife is willing to let me make mistakes and supports me as I recover from those mistakes. She has seen the improvements I have made over the last ten years. I definitely do not have 'the patience of a saint' but my patience has grown exponentially, both with others and now, myself.

We need to work at choosing to have more patience with others and ourselves. Not only will it enhance our recovery, but it will enhance our lives and the lives of those around us.

The facts are we are struggling to return to our old selves. If we stop struggling to be the old self, we can put that same energy into becoming a better person both for our own recovery and for those around us.

I hope you all can find that special person who can help you accept the Facts of Your Life. If you have found that person, treat them with care. You are receiving a special gift from them.

My best to you all.