I was released on Friday to return to work, which was a shock b/c of the magnitude of the symptoms I have. Well, I was ready on Monday to go but they called me and said my position wasn't ready yet. I go on tuesday and I did was staple papers. I struggled so badly that I had to leave within 2 hours of being there. While I was there it was a pretty toxic environment to be at it with what I went through with my company. I left b/c I just could not concentrate and my headache was a 8/10. I said, "I'm sorry, but I just cannot be here right now. I feel terrible." They said it's ok and I left. The past few days have been horrible, like they were when I first suffered my accident. I called my doctors office the next morning.

Out of nowhere I've become insanely depressed and I don't know why. I've just felt incredibly lethargic and my mind has been all over the place and in places I don't like. I've become very distant with my family as well, and they hate seeing me like this.

I had a terrible, terrible night yesterday. Around 12:30 my headache went from being a 7/10 to a 15/10. My eyes couldn't focus and I had a very loud ringing in my ears. It hurt so badly that I started yelling in pain and started crying and my Dad just hugged me and told me it was going to be okay. I haven't felt like that since I went to the hospital in August.

What happened later was very traumatic for my Dad to see and I really had no clue what happened until he told what happened. My Dad gets up at 4:30 am and he went into the bathroom and found me laying in the bathtub full of water in my clothes. He tried getting my attention but I wouldn't respond. I eventually looked at him and he started to get teary eyed, and he told me to get out of the tub and I still wouldn't respond. He eventually had to pick me up and he struggled a bit b/c I'm 6'1 245. I guess I told him that I was cold, and I got changed and what not. My Dad said he was seconds away from calling 911 b/c of scared he was. My Dad hugged me before I left and I started to cry and I said, "I can't take this anymore, I want it to go away." I was able to fall asleep until 7am this morning b/c of my head. One of the worst nights of my life...

Cody,

Wow, what a horrible day and night. I am so sorry you went through that.

Have you changed anything lately besides try to go back to work?

Hopefully, there was some kind of trigger that can be found so you can avoid it to prevent a repeat.

My best to you.

Sounds to me like whoever 'released' you to go back to work did not know what they were doing. There aren't really objective tests that can tell how bad certain symptoms are and whether or not you will be ok at work, so this is something you have to take charge of yourself - if you think you won't be able to cope, you're probably right.

Hope nothing that bad or weird happens to you again!

I'm very sorry that happened to you.

Make sure you tell your Dr. what happened so they know that you are not ready to go back to work yet.

I'm not sure if this is a worker's comp issue or not since you mentioned work being a stressful environment. Stress is not good for people who have sustained tbi's.

Take care!!

Thanks.

Since I'm not able to drive, I walk around my neighborhood from time to time to just get out of my house. I really don't know what triggered it at all, and that scares me. I feel a bit better mentally stable wise right now, but as I type this my headache is across my forehead down to my cheekbones and it kills. What a lot of people don't understand is that you can't see what I'm going through. A lot of people have told me that I'm lying, and crushes me when they say that...It's almost been a year since my accident.

Yeah....it's a workers comp issue. While I was there only person would speak to me and it was the Comp/HR person. My former manager and supervisor wouldn't look at me nor speak to me. All of my former coworkers just glared at me with a "F" you look on their face.

I wrote what happened down b/c this is something my Dr. needs to know. I trust my Neurologist more than my work doctor.