I'm getting worse every day but nobody can tell me why.

My body and mind is so weak right now I feel like I'm going to fade away and not come back.

I'm getting plenty of rest.

Is my brain shrinking or something? What the hell is going on?

I'm about to call 911 again.

Hi Nick,

One of the Dr.'s who treated me a year ago, when I was experiencing severe pain in my neck, told me that I would have to live with that pain for the rest of my life. Now, I only experience very moderate to minimal pain only some of the time. I would say most of the time, I feel no pain in my neck. That Dr. who said that to me was very wrong. But what he said made me want to die too, because I didn't think I could live with that kind of pain. He shouldn't have said that to me. And the Dr. who told you that shouldn't have said that to you.

I went to speech therapy for several months and that seemed to help re-route some of the pathways in my brain. I noticed significant improvement in my cognitive functioning while I was attending speech therapy. Speech therapy isn't only for speech issues - it can also help cognitive functioning.

I use an online computer program called lumosity that purports to help people heal from mTBI. I'm not sure if it's truly helping me or not, but I am significantly better than I was when I started playing the games. MarkInIdaho has posted that he doesn't think their games help do much of anything except tucker him out - and that has happened to me before due to playing too many of them in a row, etc. But, I can at least track my progress by having played them for so long now and I notice a difference in how I can play them. I think Mark also says they only teach a person how to play those games... but I tend to disagree because when I first started playing them I had a lot of trouble with simple math like addition and subtraction and a few of the games work with that and now I'm doing much better in those areas - with the games and in real life. So, I think it does have some merits.

I don't want to stress you out at all - but it's my understanding that if you, as a competent parent give your child to someone who is considered to be a negligent parent or caregiver, like your ex, that social services can take the child away from both of you. After hearing about the shenanigans of your ex, it might not be a good idea to giver her your son to watch. I know you need help and rest, but perhaps there is a better way to go about his care to get it. Have you contacted them and let them know that you need help? They already know you are recovering from a tbi and they might have a solution, like placing him in a foster home temporarily, or finding him a day sitter. It will most likely be more difficult to try to fight social services if they do take him away at some point when you're doing better than to try to work with them in regards to this matter.

I'm very sorry to hear that you have to move. I had to move twice after the brain I sustained and it was because of the brain injury that I had to move - I was flat broke! And I couldn't afford paying for my apartment anymore.

I had a case manager that my health insurance provided to me and she was an RN. I also had a social worker visit my home that they also provided me. Neither did much good for me in my opinion. The RN would call me every few weeks to talk to me over the phone and see how I was doing and the social worker didn't understand tbi at all - at one point he suggested that I consider changing my career to help people clean their houses and I am a Mgr. of Technical Operations! I am able to do my job with limitations now, but that is how poorly I was doing when he saw me - I don't think that he understood that I would improve and since then I've improved a great deal. I think you should look into getting them, just in case they can help you more than the ones I got helped me. But, be warned, they might not be able to help you in ways that you actually need help.

And try not to beat yourself up about your past drug abuse - try to be grateful that you don't want any now.

Try to remember that in Dr. Glen Johnson's Traumatic Brain Injury Survival Guide he says that people can improve a great deal up to 2 years after their injuries. So you still have a lot of time to make a lot of improvements.

And in terms of relationships go, remember that you are a different person now than you were before the assault. You need to learn who you are now and then love you for who you are before you try to love another person.

Nick,

I doubt a ER visit is going to help. Did the doctor who commented about the pooled blood in your brain make any comment about any drugs to help dissolve it so it can be absorbed? Or, is it just a wait and see situation?

As for the ladies, I thin you have other priorities right now. Caleb should be your first priority. With time, he can become your chick magnet. When the two of you have established a consistent and balanced life, the right lady will notice.

If you were out meeting women, would your first line be, "Hey, I live with my mother, sister and brothers, have a 9 month old son, and am on unemployment?" Probably not, but it is the truth.

Saying anything less to these women is short changing both them and Caleb and even yourself.

Sowing some oats right now is not a priority nor is it necessarily good for your recovery. It time, you will have opportunities to establish these relationships. What part of Vegas do you live in? I'll do some research to see if I can find a case manager who can help you.

Having access to a case manager help will be a boost to your recovery and lessen your anxiety.

My best to you.

I live in the 89103 zip code.

The doctor said there is absolutely nothing that can be done about the dried up blood in my head. She said it will be there forever.

That makes me wonder if it was necessary for them to perform surgery to drain the blood out. Too late now. I'd wonder how that would have effected my recovery and how I'd be feeling today...but that would just bring on more stress.

Every day I say my mental status/cognitive functioning is worse than the day before. I'm not lying when I say that. I can't figure out why its happening...I should be feeling better or the same.

Yes, stressing about it is making it worse. But even when I'm just laying here not thinking about anything its still there.

I want answers ...

EsthersDoll,

I just finished reading your post. I didn't feel up to reading that much earlier so that's why I didn't respond until now. I just want to say, thank you so much for taking the time to analyze my situation and provide helpful information for me. It truly means a lot to me. I'm going through a very rough time in my life and I need as much help and incite as possible.

I made an appointment with NV Community Enrichment program but I didn't go...they provide different types of therapy for the brain injured. One of them was speech therapy. I didn't go because I'm afraid its going to use all my VOCP funds. I'm hoping to get insurance through social security (if they accept me) so I'm just going to tough it out until then.

Thank you so much, again. I really appreciate you taking the time to help me.

Nick

From the web,

Traumatic Brain Injury Rehabilitation

Comprehensive, post acute rehabilitation is provided to Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) survivors who lack payment resources. The facility is located on the campus of the Community College of Southern Nevada and works in partnership with the college to offer work experience and internship opportunities for students studying physical or occupational therapy. These services are provided by the Nevada Community Enrichment Program.

For more information, contact Nevada Community Enrichment at:

(702) 259-1903

This is the place I mentioned in January in your Need Advise thread. It is definitely worth checking out.

I called Nevada Community Enrichment Program and the lady on the phone told me, from what I told her I'm going through, that I'm not medically stable to enter the program.

I did not know it was free of charge.

After speaking with her for about 20 minutes, I convinced her to let me come in for an assessment today. However...I completely spaced on it today. When I realized that I missed the appointment, I thought about how I was going to get there anyways...and the cost, and how it might wipe out my VOCP fund.

Thanks for pointing out its free of charge. I will try to make another appointment.

I had to Google "sowing oats" to find out what it means.

It made me laugh.

Please do check in with them again and please let us know how it goes. I have high hopes for you with this program!