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-   Traumatic Brain Injury and Post Concussion Syndrome (https://www.neurotalk.org/traumatic-brain-injury-and-post-concussion-syndrome/)
-   -   Just need to vent....and need advise. (https://www.neurotalk.org/traumatic-brain-injury-and-post-concussion-syndrome/168231-vent-advise.html)

ClumsyCharlie 04-25-2012 12:43 PM

Thank god I found this post! Can I vent/ramble too?

I've become so hypersensitive that even I realise at the time that it's irrational and unfair on others but I cannot stop the tears from bubbling up, cannot stop my voice cracking. For example, my boyfriend made a passing comment to a friend of ours about relationships in general, wasn't a reference to us, and certainly didn't apply to us in that context.
However, I couldn't get it out of my head, it looped my mind for hours, I didn't want to cause a scene, however both of them noticed. I cried for hours and hours, and when I finally told my boyfriend, he was upset and confused. He reassured me that it wasn't about us, that he loved me, that I was being stupid. But saying that killed me, because, while I knew I was being stupid, I didn't want to be told it.
This has lead to be me becoming quite withdrawn and upset, and I'm now constantly wary and find it harder to make conversation with him..

I realise that it's easy to say that he's not being very understanding or supportive. But, he has been my rock through this. We'd been together for 18months when I got my first concussion, and he's stuck by me. He's been to thousands of hospital and doctors appointments, argued that I am suffering and that there is something wrong while so many people were sceptical.

He has been brilliant. And I wouldn't have coped without him. But now, I know he's finding this hard, and I don't know how to deal with this myself. I don't know how to make this easier for him... How can I support him when.. Do I need to get some help to deal with my emotions for both of our sakes? Oh, I don't know. But I feel better for getting it off my chest. Thank you. Sorry, that's a hugely long rambly message!

EsthersDoll 04-25-2012 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dhope (Post 873180)
I really understand the issue of graduating with a low gpa - when I was in graduate school anything under an A was unacceptable. You know what? The real world doesn't really care what your gpa was, I have never been asked about mine. Don't be so hard on yourself, finish your school work and be proud that you did! Also the ADA states that the school must make accommodations for you, let the law work for you.

I agree that the school must make appropriate accommodations for you - I've worked on numerous college campuses and for several Universities. Anything less is totally unacceptable. I understand how demanding graduate programs can be - I've worked for countless graduate programs at this point in my career. But what you are experiencing is probably temporary and I find it appalling that they are not more willing to work with you in regards to this.

I'm sorry to hear that there is only one person you can speak to about this - are you sure about that? Perhaps your cognitive impairments are making you less aware of all the resources you may have that you haven't yet tapped about this. You can speak to the body that gives them their accreditation. Or the campus ombudsman. What about the Dean or the President of the campus, or the dept. of disabilities?

If you tell me what state you live in or what campus you attend I could help you look it up, if you want.

Much luck! :hug:

HeadStrong 04-26-2012 08:27 AM

ClumsyCharlie,

I am sorry you are experiencing this too. I can relate to the withdrawn part. I was so outgoing and active prior to the injury, but now I feel isolated.

If it's not the headaches, fatigue, or noise sensitivites keeping me at home, it's the fear of being hypersensitive to everything and not being able to socially interact like I used too.

I read somwhere that emotional and personalitiy changes after head injuries can also be due to our altered coping abilities. Also, the process of feeling frustrated and helpless are more apt to develop when people are unaware of the organic causes.

I might have this turned around a bit, but it was something like that.

It has to get better :)




Quote:

Originally Posted by ClumsyCharlie (Post 873354)
Thank god I found this post! Can I vent/ramble too?

I've become so hypersensitive that even I realise at the time that it's irrational and unfair on others but I cannot stop the tears from bubbling up, cannot stop my voice cracking. For example, my boyfriend made a passing comment to a friend of ours about relationships in general, wasn't a reference to us, and certainly didn't apply to us in that context.
However, I couldn't get it out of my head, it looped my mind for hours, I didn't want to cause a scene, however both of them noticed. I cried for hours and hours, and when I finally told my boyfriend, he was upset and confused. He reassured me that it wasn't about us, that he loved me, that I was being stupid. But saying that killed me, because, while I knew I was being stupid, I didn't want to be told it.
This has lead to be me becoming quite withdrawn and upset, and I'm now constantly wary and find it harder to make conversation with him..

I realise that it's easy to say that he's not being very understanding or supportive. But, he has been my rock through this. We'd been together for 18months when I got my first concussion, and he's stuck by me. He's been to thousands of hospital and doctors appointments, argued that I am suffering and that there is something wrong while so many people were sceptical.

He has been brilliant. And I wouldn't have coped without him. But now, I know he's finding this hard, and I don't know how to deal with this myself. I don't know how to make this easier for him... How can I support him when.. Do I need to get some help to deal with my emotions for both of our sakes? Oh, I don't know. But I feel better for getting it off my chest. Thank you. Sorry, that's a hugely long rambly message!


Margarite 06-06-2012 01:18 AM

Good luck with your boyfriend. I had a guy friend who I was fond of, but never thought of as a boyfriend and I guess I leaned on him so much that he thought we were dating. When I found out...boy was that an awkward conversation "So, just to be clear we are not dating and we never will, I just enjoy our friendship." "You are wrong!" He was very stubborn, but as usual I was more so. :)
Anyways, I hope that you can figure it out. I would just say put everything on his shoulders tell him everything and tell him that you are telling him everything so that he will be able to understand. He will be able to handle it. In my very limited experience, guys want all the facts so that they can face them, they don't like hidden things that might someday jump out to bite them. They like to have the whole picture.
Good Luck again!

And to vent again,
NAUSEA!!!! How do you guys cope? I truly don't understand how pregnant woman deal with it, maybe it is that they have a 9month limit and I do not know when this will end, or maybe it is that they get rewarded with a beautiful bundle of joy while I am only hoping to not feel sick every single day. I don't know, but I have so much more respect for pregnant women now!


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