It was my first time riding outside of an arena and the horse that I normally rode had to be highly encouraged to even walk let alone do anything dangerous. But I went riding for my first time out in the fields on a completely strange horse in the middle of spring and he has a funny gallop that I was not used to. I have not been riding since because I seem to be so accident prone that it is just not worth it.
I understand what you mean about it being difficult to give up. I have refused to give up skiing and dancing even though it would be easy to get another concussion doing either of these sports. Dancing raises my spirits like nothing else. I could be having the worse possible day, and the dancing could make me feel even worse physically it raises my spirits so much that it is worth it.
Good Luck!

You story is similar to mine. I was involved in a serious head on collision a few weeks ago.I had a concussion. It looks like I never lost conciousness but I was out on my feet. I can not remember 10 seconds before my collision till about 8 minutes later when the rescue was putting me on a back board. I got out of the vechicle on the other side of the car and had my car keys in my pocket ????????????????? They found me sitting in a puddle of oil in front of my car. No matter how I try to remember, I cant. It is eating me up alive. I am waiting for the accident report from the police. From the evidence the other car came in my lane and totally destroyed our cars. The police said I should not have survived but here I am! I thought I was responsible until a few days ago and it was hard to live with. Anyway we are both still alive. I am hoping my memory comes back. I am pretty tough and I have to know the details of what exactly happened. The doctor said there is a name for this (Post-traumatic amnesia) and is described in several places online. If anything comes back I will let you know. Thanks for the post. At least I am not alone. George

I was asked the usual question "What do you remember about the accident" when I replied about the "facts" the person replied to do you actually remember it or is it what someone has told you happened ?

I never though about it before, but is an interesting thought that because we have a memory gap around the event we may subconsciously accept what we have been told and fill the gap.

george,

Welcome to NeuroTalk. Glad to hear you made it through a head on collision.

I doubt you will recover the 10 seconds before the collision and probably not those 8 minutes after. The 10 seconds was still 'in process' of being transferred from immediate memory to short term memory. Immediate memory is very volatile. If the neurochemical process is interrupted, the information never made it from the immediate (very volatile) to the short term (longer lasting) to be available for consolidation into long term memory during your next sleep cycle.

Think of it as spilling water on letters painted with latex paint before it has cured. The smudging and blurring will never be undone.

When someone relates what happened, it can help the smudged letters be understood making it so it appears that you remember the time period. Think of it as the comments from others was retracing over the smudged letters in the victims mind so they are easily read.

Memory is more volatile during times of stress. The most intense part of the event can be written in stone while lesser events are never transferred to longer term memory. It is like the intense event overshadows the lesser parts of the event.

I have long believed that the flashing lights of emergency vehicles are actually counter-productive to getting good and valid information from witnesses. The visual processing path in the brain uses a vast amount of the brain's processing capability.

Whenever someone asks me what happened, I always tell them, "I have no idea, but I can tell you what I was told happened, if you'd like." For some reason, its really important to me that people understand the distinction.

I've not recovered any memory of my fall, not surprisingly... if anything, I've discovered more gaps in my memory subsequently... events and things I normally would've remembered that I just have no recollection of ever happening... sometimes if someone reminds me of them, I can get fuzzy memories, but sometimes its as though they are making stuff up, its so foreign to me.

Given that I don't remember my fall, I still have no fear of riding again and am planning to ride again soon, hopefully my doc and physios will get on board.

I'm tired of all this crap and just want to get on with my life... enough already.
Starr

When people ask me "what happened" I just refer them to YouTube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kixEZEhrSdY

Holy hell! What an awful thing to have on youtube Lightrail!! I complain about not knowing the exact details, but you have it worse, having video... on youtube! GAH!!
Starr

Since I have no memory of the accident I just find the video interesting... plus I don't have any PTSD symptoms and I still ride the train from time to time.

Thanks for the reply. I think you are right. I will never get my memory back on this incident. For whatever reason greater powers than us are at work. I guess we should just cope and get on with our lives. I am also a firefighter/Medic and I will try to turn of my front lights when I respond to an accident when I can. I have never been on this side of and accident but now have an all new outlook. Thanks Again George