[eponagirl]

After writing about my progress, thought I'd ask a question....

Do any of you notice (or someone else notice about you) impaired judgment/decision making?

Mine seems subtle 2 yrs out (it was worse closer to my accident), but I noticed my inability to be firm in saying no to applying for a store credit card after mild pressure from the nice sales clerk. I never used to be swayed in the past. Now I find that when people ask me questions where I have to make decisions, things slow down for me and I don't always make a choice like I would have pre-concussion, if I make a choice at all (at times)

It made me feel kind of vulnerable going out into the world (just when I thought I was doing so well, thus venturing out more)

Does anyone know what I mean by this? If so, how do you deal with it?

["Starr"]

I know what you mean. I have similar issues.

One I remember was a telemarketer that called while I was sleeping, woke me up and tried to convince me that I needed my ducts cleaned. Normally, my response to any telemarketer is "Please take me off your calling list" and I hang up. (My policy has always been that if I want something done, *I* will call around for quotes).

Well, luckily my husband was home and helped me because otherwise I would've had my ducts cleaned by this company. I kept trying to say no, but it seemed like they were making a very convincing argument and I was really concerned that I would hurt their feelings.

I also have some impulsive issues that make purchases seem like a good idea when I see them. So I have made a rule that if its more than $20, I have to wait until the next day to buy whatever it is. Forces me to tkae time to decide if I really want it and almost 100% of the time by the time 24 hours rolls around, I think "why did I ever think buying THAT is a good idea?"

There are many more examples, I just can't think of them right now!

I sometimes feel like a 2 year old with the "I want, I want" or trying to decide between 2 products (and either would be fine) and just can't figure out which one to get.

Even grocery shopping can be quite the challenge, I sometimes come home with items that are not right or not the right brand. I do my best to make lists beforehand that include brand names of stuff that matters, but that only helps a bit.

Best of luck.
Starr

[Eowyn]

Well, I will not go into my big long dramatic saga, but just let me say that YES I had impaired decision making and NO it was not subtle and YES other people noticed it.

It was especially bad right after my injury and I am only now realizing just how very bad it was and I am lucky that I still have some significant portions of my life intact.

Now I'm more in the phase where I just get confused and it's hard to decide things or figure out what to do.

[Kenjhee]

Yes, sales people have definitely caught me with my cortical guard down. Normally I have no problem telling a pushy sales rep where to go. I was in professional sales for ten years (the non-pushy kind), and I know every last one of their tricks. But when a certain part of my brain checks out, there is no defense.

[eponagirl]

What a relief to hear your versions!! I do know better too, but it's so true about the brain just checking out in some areas. I feel time slowing down in those moments and people waiting for my decision. It used to happen a lot when making follow up Appts, I just stood there thinking, "gee when CAN I come back, how do I decide?" Even with my appt book open and right there.

It's still a little tough, but easier now. Obviously I'm still slow in this area though. I've had to forgive myself when not getting it right and correct what I can and just keep going forward when I can't. In my early days, I disappointed several people by saying I was able to do things that later I had to back out of (when it finally processed through my brain and it was obvious I should not have committed to that thing in the first place)

This credit card thing made me realize that as good as I've been feeling lately, there are still things that are needed to watch for and find ways of dealing in my "new" life post concussion.

It's so reassuring to not feel so alone in this, thanks!!

[lattesrus]

For me, I have a problem with saying "yes, I can do that" at work when I really can't or doing so will cause me to need to go to bed at 6PM. I just want to seem like I was before the accident I guess. People appear to be understanding when I need to un-do things. If they aren't--I guess I am able to forget it! That is a positive way of looking at it.

Tomorrow I have a meeting for the first half of the day at an office that is 15 miles from my usual work place. I am expected to be at my other work in the afternoon. I carpool everyday (someone else drives). No one thinks about how I going to get from point A to point B but me. I started thinking "well, I could probably just drive, or I can call this friend, etc." Then I finally said, no I am not supposed to drive so I am not going to. I talked with the secretary and she figured it out for me. It is difficult for me to have to ask for help.

[Dolfinwolf]

Originally Posted by lattesrus

For me, I have a problem with saying "yes, I can do that" at work when I really can't or doing so will cause me to need to go to bed at 6PM. I just want to seem like I was before the accident I guess. People appear to be understanding when I need to un-do things. If they aren't--I guess I am able to forget it! That is a positive way of looking at it.

I started thinking "well, I could probably just drive, or I can call this friend, etc." Then I finally said, no I am not supposed to drive so I am not going to. I talked with the secretary and she figured it out for me. It is difficult for me to have to ask for help.

I like the way you look at that! Good for me to try!

I am exactly the same way. I have issues asking for help AND saying yes as well. I'm glad you did it though! Your safety was obviously an issue with the driving! I hope I can get to the point where I am asking for help in real life too !

[eponagirl]

I am the same way! It took me a year to finally start asking for help and it was the turning point in my recovery. I have gotten better about not taking on too much and always get a "reminder" (by returning symptoms) when overdoing it.

My poor memory has served me too, in the way of forgetting about upsetting things with people. The good stuff fades away a little too, but life can be less stressful if I just wait a week or so!

Sometimes it's hard to monitor one's self when the part of your brain that does that is injured!

[Dolfinwolf]

Originally Posted by eponagirl

My poor memory has served me too, in the way of forgetting about upsetting things with people. The good stuff fades away a little too, but life can be less stressful if I just wait a week or so!

You know, that is a VERY good point! My ex-husband (whom I am still friends with, due to our kids) has mentioned that I seem a lot less grudgeful, etc with him (I used to dwell on things A LOT). It never dawned on me to look at the forgetfulness in that light.
Thanks!

["Starr"]

I noticed that too! A double edge sword... you forget some good things, but the bad things fade too! My husband has started using that to his advantage, if we fight, he will say "let's talk about this tonight" and by the time tonight comes, I've forgotten why I was so mad.

Like many of you, I am resistant to asking for help. I want to do it, no matter what "it" is and I want to do "it" myself! Even if its just about impossible for me to do, will lead to frustration and lying on the floor crying. It makes me feel so... weak... to ask for help.

And I have been practicing saying no when people ask me to do things. Its very difficult because I've always said yes in the past. But now if I say yes, then I just add stress to myself because I won't be able to do it and then disappoint who I said yes to and that also makes me feel bad.

Tricky stuff.
Starr