[village crest]

Hello, I am brand new to this forum and have been excited to read others posts. I would love to hear input and advise from others.

I was a police officer for 9 years. In 2009 I was riding in a van at work when we hit a large pot hole in the road. I was thrown head first into an AC vent that was an inch above my head. I was a little disoriented at first and it hurt, but I didn't feel "injured." Roughly 5 days later, I noticed my balance and coordination felt off, I had ringing in my head, things didn't look right, my ears felt full, I was having headache in the back of my head and my neck hurt. I didn't really make the connection to the head strike and went to a walk in clinic. They said I had a ear/sinus infection. It didn't improve at all. I just didn't feel right, like my head was buried in the sand.

Long story short, I didn't talk much about the symptoms at work. I just kept trying to do my job because I loved what I was doing. I continued to go to every specialist I thought could help and was diagnosed with a lot of stuff. Atypical migraine, Minerse disease, etc. No one ever suggest brain injury because the scans were normal (I had a neuro tell me some people just don't respond to meds and I should seek treatment elsewhere). I wasn't getting any better no matter what I did or took. I finally had to raise the red flag at work. They put me on light duty (a desk) and disempowered me because of the symptoms. This was absolutely humiliating. I had always striven to be a great cop and now I was on a desk with no gun and badge, and from the outside a looked fine. Fellow officers just didn't get it.

After a year of light duty, I wasn't making any progress. The dept. sent me off on a medical pension in Oct. I couldn't believe this was happening (i am 34 years old). I felt as though I lost my identity. I am struggling to deal with the symptoms (with no end in sight) and find new direction in life.

I just don't know what to do. My wife says I am a different person. We separated a couple of months ago.

They are sending me to see a new neuro in a couple weeks and I am so jaded. I hope they aren't like everyone else who thinks your fine because you don't have a brain bleed or arrow sticking out of your chest.

I am finally starting to accept the fact that I am broken and I may never be the person I once was. I just wish I could feel some relief from the symptoms and not feeling right.

Reading that other people have been through this nightmare gives me hope.

Thanks,
Bryan