[camyam73]

LEt me preface this by saying I have a great husband.... he's dealt with my concussion by picking up all the slack and taking care of me at every turn.... but I just don't really know what to do, or how to get across to him....

He's a teacher, so he has now started his summer holidays... I was feeling pretty good last weekend, so we did some work around the house, including building some shelving units.... It was a bad idea in hindsight, but I had felt fine....

I'm having a recurrence of symptoms and know I need to pull back, but it's not so easy... DH just doesn't get it... HE's frustrated that I am not getting up at 6 am to go for a walk with him. He's frustrated that I don't want to go out.... Not REALLY frustrated, but he's a bit irked, which is really unlike him... I'm now back to needing a daily nap, fighting off headaches, and I know the only cure is as much rest and as little stimulation as possible.... And he gets it.... mostly....

It's just that for the last almost five months, he was at school all day... He hasn't seen the amount of rest I need in a day to be able to function semi normally in the evening.... Usually I rise around 7, and just take it easy all day till he gets home, when we would cook dinner and possibly run an errand if I was up to it... now, he would like me doing things with him all day, and I just cannot, but how do I tell him? How do I get this across?

I'm nervous too... we made plans to go visit family for ten days... It's a long drive, which I think I'll be fine with, but I'm nervous about the family interactions... My sister is awesome, but active, and bigger than life you could say! I'm nervous she also won't understand that I need to do less, and rest a lot....

So - How do you communicate to family that you're limited, without saying you cannot do anything, only that you need to do a lot less?

[Dolfinwolf]

I know exactly what you are going through. My family also expects me to be "normal." I basically had to keep reminding them that I am not okay, although that really didn't work.

The thing that DID work, however, was when I did overdo it, and they physically saw my face get red, and my body language change, and the shakes came on. They have backed off a little, but not a lot. (still skeptical-ish)

I obviously don't want you to do that! Maybe show them some posts from other people/information from stickies? I think it was once suggested to me that if you have to excuse yourself, you can do so politely and know that you are doing what your body is telling you that you need.

Also, I think it is good that you feel like you are ready to go on the trip! Even if you have to print out your post here and show it to the family, maybe they will see how you are feeling? Just be open and honest.

Easier said than done, I know. I hope something I said in this ramble helped? Good luck and keep us posted!!!!

[Mark in Idaho]

Getting others to understand will be difficult. But, you can and should make sure than you have access to a quiet place to take breaks.

I spent a week with family last week. It ended with a barbeque on Sunday evening. I had no place to seek quiet refuge so I struggled. I fought through the evening but it left me exhausted. It took me a couple days to recover at home.

Stand firm about having a place to seek refuge. It will be your lifeline.

My best to you.