Hello everyone out there.

I guess if you are reading this you are probably also suffering directly or have someone close to you who is battling. "Kia Kaha" which means stay strong in Moari.

I guess I am trying to get some support from others who may have gone through what I have, and I hate to admit it but I'm looking for a bit of reassurance that things are going to be ok. Because at times it sure doesn't feel like it.

My story goes like this. I was on holiday in Vanuatu for a friends wedding where I got quite drunk at the stag do. The next day I was throwing up in the bath then all I remember is waking up with a sore left eye and a bulge like an egg out of the lower left corner near my temple. I was out for maybe only seconds and assume I hit my head on the bath or floor.

I am, or should I say at this point was, a rugby union player and had two heavy knocks to the head during the season and one of which had me unconscious for again just a few seconds about 6 weeks before the incident in Vanuatu.

I felt relatively fine after this and for the rest of the holiday continued with activities like walking, snorkelling, scuba etc. I didn't get drunk again though.
It wasn't till I got home to New Zealand maybe 5 days after the head knock and started in the gym that I didn't feel right. I tried to work out but just gave up due to light headedness and feeling off, I started to think possibly I had picked up a tropical parasite or bug.

After a few days of this I had, what I think looking back now was, an anxiety attack and ended up in the hospital. Where they ran bloods, a neurological exam, blood pressure, reflexes, urine etc. Everything was clear but they did tell me I may have PCS and it should clear up in days or a week if I avoid heavy exercise.

I had symptoms and major anxiety for about 3.5 weeks and nothing was getting better so I went to a Doctor (now in Australia) who said I was just having anxiety but go for a c.t scan just in case. Thankfully the C.T scan was clear and the doctor there said just keep battling and it will come right.

It has been nearly two months since I hit my head and I have days where it's ok, never perfect, but then I have days where I really feel like I am going to die. Anyone else experience these feelings of impending doom?

My symptoms are,

light headedness and a very mild vertigo( it just feels like things are unstable, not spinning)

Brain fog,

Ringing in the ears.

Major anxiety.

Sensitivity to glare, if I have to talk to someone in a room where there is glare behind them I get very uneasy and anxious and have hot flushes.

Nausea, lately this has been worse high in my stomach around my liver area.

Thank my lucky stars that headaches have been few and far between.

Can any one offer me an advice or any words of support. I feel kind of alone on this, medical staff all just say I need ride it out and have not referred me to specialist help, my partner who is a nurse agrees with them and she also tells me to tough it out.

Until this happened I was a superfit 28yo who felt bullet proof and was never ever sick so the past two months have been very nervous journey into uncharted territory. Any other travellers who can help?

brett,

Welcome to NeuroTalk. Sorry to hear of you injury. Your symptoms sound like classic Post Concussion Syndrome.

Your rugby history leads me to believe you have had many more than 3 concussions. Any time you had a head impact with even a bit of change in sensation, it was a concussion. Plus, you have likely suffered many sub-concussive impacts. You sense of being 'bullet proof' adds to the complexity of impacts that can effect your brain. Plus, getting blotto drunk is equivalent to getting a concussion in how it effects your brain.

To give your brain a chance to heal, it needs quiet rest. That means a few weeks off work or minimal cognitive effort at work in a quiet environment. Quiet means limited sounds and visual stimuli. Even smells and tactile sensations are stressors to the recovering brain.

Avoid alcohol, caffeine, MSG, artificial sweeteners, intense sugars, etc. Good meat protein will help with the amino acids your brain needs.

There is a regimen of vitamins and supplements that also help the brain cleanse from the toxins released during an injury. I have posted it a few times recently. Check my other posts for the list. Left click on my screen name then click on 'see other posts'

You are not bullet proof any more. You likely are arriving at a condition called Multiple Impact Syndrome. This is when an accumulation of impacts leave the brain with longer term symptoms. They may take months to improve and some symptoms may not recover to prior levels.

Please keep us informed. There are plenty of good people here.

My best to you.

Hi Brett,

So sorry you are suffering this way. I too was a sports person ( fem. football player, very fit and happy). Sadly these experiences change us.

On this site you are normal Im afraid! However my advice to you is to go for counseling. When we exp massive changes in our lives and do not process them in our heads bit by bit it can lead to breakdown which will amplify your symptoms.

People around you are telling you to tough it out because they think you are still the same person. But you cannot be the same after head trauma. The person for whom that is hardest to accept is you.

You need to be honest with your partner, while eating a lovely meal together, tell her how you really feel, that you are afraid and that you need her to try and understand, but that you are working on a solution.

I wish you well, its a long haul and some things will have changed for life others will improve in time.

Go get counceling and maybe take your nearest and dearest with you for a couple of sessions so she sees how distressing this is for you.

Take care. Please keep in touch.

Thank you both for your reply, This seems like a very comforting place.

Update: Friday I visited a kinesiologist hoping that would help but no luck. I had put a lot of my hopes in this treatment.

Today I tried to go for a walk but was to uncomfortable. I broke down when I realised that I have ruined my brain and that I may never be who I was again.

This condition has turned some tiny cracks in my relationship into vast canyons and I'm crushed when I think that this minor incident may not be finished taking things away from me.

At least my days as a sportsmen has taught me to keep going even when it seems pointless, because that is surely how it feels.

Nice to know there are caring people in the world,

Hi Brett,
I suppose a kinesiologist needs the understanding of brain trauma. Obviously he didn't have it. You see movement will return when your brain allows it and not before. I would say being a sportsman to not is a huge, massive change.

You need to concentrate simply on rest. You are bound to have anxious thoughts stream through your mind, but keep reminding yourself that this is the start of something new.
Even if you are not sure what.

Do not worry about tomorrow for it has it's own concerns I believe the bible says. It's so true, you have today. It will not count in the same way but you can create something worthwhile.

Your girlfriend maybe is angry because in her eyes it was a drunken stupor that changed you, she needs the facts. She needs to understand that this was a culmination of head injuries over the years but particularly the past 6 months.

Will be thinking of you. Try to do one thing today that you enjoy.