Hello Everyone!

Stumbling across this forum has brought me tears of joy! You mean..its not all in my head?! I'm NOT really lazy or ditzy!?

A little about me:

I am a 33yo mother of 3 (ages 3, 5, 6). On June 26, 2012 I was heading home. I was driving my husbands quad cab truck...normally I drive my minivan..but it needed new tires. So I was forced to drive his truck. Putting my daughter in the front with me (didn't like having to do that), she's 6. The two boys in the back seats. All of them in child seats.
I was sitting at a red light.....foot on brake...glanced up in rear view....saw a white car approachging...FAST....and it was all over....
I remember during the impact, seeing the movement of my son's body. Meaning I was turned and looking over my right shoulder in the back of the seat upon impact. (Mothers instinct to look to her children).

MY KIDS ARE ALL FINE :-)

The man was driving a white Kia and had his 15yo son with him. Niether wearing seatbelts..but they are fine. The boy jumped out of their vehicle (holding his arm)...screaming at his dad, "why were you doing that?!!", my guess is texting...due to his son yelling that...and his complete negligence of a whole 4 way intersection with a traffic light. (and the fact he was later on leaning against his totaled car...still texting). Sons hand broken.e
He was going 50mph!

He never once braked or tried to veer off. THANK GOODNESS I WAS driving my husbands truck. It was higher than his vehicle..so the nose of his car went slightly under my truck....and the bed of the truck took much of the damaging impact...if I was in my minivan...my older two would have been in way back...and his car would have went straight into the back of them..and makes me sick to think of it. I think what has gotten me through a lot of this in the beginning...is the fact that it could have been MUCH worse..my kids are fine. I appear fine...from the outside.

I am an Army Veteran...all my healthcare is at a VA hospital near me. I had a friend take me there that evening. I have never had whiplash before or anything like this. Burning in upper back....painful pack of head and neck...numb face and tingling in arms and fingertips, and head ache. A touch disoriented right after impact. I just thought it was just me in shock. Had a hard time answering day of the week questions from the EMT.

ER doc said whiplash...blah blah blah...take extra of your pain meds (I have vicodin for chronic pain in my right leg, due to previous osteonecrosis and surgeries to correct it).
And take ibuprofen. Follow up with your primary in a couple weeks.

I went a couple days later...I was feeling HORRIBLE. Passed the range of motion and nerve type exercises she did with me.
Blah blah blah...whiplash...just wait it out. xrays of neck came back fine.

Went dental..due to crazy tight jaw and clenching teeth....so I got TMJ from the accident. Been going to Physical therapy to help with that....
so its been ongoing...

I EVEN thought I was getting better a couple times..then WHAM....

Here I am 4 months later...

I feel like someone is squeezing me brain. The head pressure is crazy!

Pretty sure I'm not on an airplane..but my ears sure do feel like they are!!!

Numb sensation off and on in face...nose, eye socket ect.

Tight jaw.

Spotty throbbing all over my head.

SUPER spacey.

Forgetful.

NO motivation and so lethargic.

I could care less about the pain....I can take that all day long..its this crazy head stuff!
The pain does suck though...
Any form of stress and even when not stress, i get the horrible tension in neck and base of skull and upper back. UGH!
When my kids argue with each other...I get SO irritable and everything hits me x's 10!
Groups of people having discussion...I normally would have tons of input...but now I just stair blankly trying to smile...everything seems like the Teacher on Charlie Brown...whaaa wah whaaahwh wa wa ....

I am normally around 145lbs.....a decent weight for me...
Since the accident...I have lost 18lbs.
Thank goodness I am now maintaining. I do this by eating high calorie foods when I CAN bring myself to eat.
I am a fitness specialist in past life..and love food...and I know all the right ways to treat my body...
but during the day....I am just NOT hungry. I stare blankly at the open fridge....annoyed by the thought of preparing something.

I could go on and on...
My husband is wonderful...but does he REALLY empathize with me? I feel like he thinks I am just overthinking things and lazy...but that is most likely just me being over sensitive. My poor kiddos are so confused..."mommy...the accident was so long ago..and we are fine...why are you still icky?"
Constantly going to apts. PT twice a week...Acupuncture once a week...and all the other apts that come up.
ITS sucking the life out of me! AND the gas out of my car!
I just want to stay home!

Primary care doctor talked with neurologist and they think Post Concussion Syndrome..and after researching it...I have EVERY symptom!
I have an MRI of brain and spine next week...and an apt. with neurologist.
I have an apt. with a physical medicine rehab place in november. I made the apt forever ago...but they are REALLY hard to get into.

Day to day stuff is such a struggle. I feel like I am a horrible mom...
I just don't feel like I am "present" in anything. Just going through the motions.
I can't keep up with household chores..which drives me crazy. Cooking meals makes me cringe. I usually love cooking.
So not only am I suffering...
I feel more bad for my family.

I just want to feel good again.

If you've made it all the way to the end of this post..thank you for listening to me vent.
All of the posts on here you've made have really helped.
Every night I am only on this site...just reading about all of you...in turn making me feel not so alone.

Any advice is welcome :-)

Warmly,
Sabrina