[Just4Me]

Hi everyone...Sorry such a long letter.... I'm not one for forums these days ... but I'm trying to be sure I'm on the right track. After 2 MRI's : INDICATIONS: Possible neurodegenerative disorder ....

first neurologist seemed to be stuck on depression - because I sat in his office and put my hand on my head - I was bored! Not depressed. Been there - not this time... a person in a depression doesn't try to start a business or look for a new job and do a BIG on line auction for a non-profit. Psych. said - no depression - it's a mood disorder.... based on one question - does your mood change....... I HOPE SO! I'm dead if it doesn't! 2nd PA neurologist - (yesterday) ... not depression - possible brain injury from concussions. I've been saying that for almost a year now!

Last Thanksgiving - I took a fall down concrete steps - didn't think I hit my head but laying there with my leg bent the wrong way (didn't break anything - not sure how I didn't) I wasn't sure if my head hit or not. Didn't go to hospital - didn't feel sick or anything. A few weeks later - I was doing a party at the house and decorating for the holidays and I would get confused and overwhelmed. I tried to redo my boxes and crates from doing a craft show and right in the middle of it - I walked away because the more I tried to do - the more I felt overwhelmed. I knew something wasn't right but didn't think much of it until - I couldn't put dishes in the dishwasher, I had trouble knowing which clothes go on first when I put them on the bed to get dressed, I picked up my hairbrush to brush my teeth and knew it wasn't right but it took me a bit of time to understand why, not to mention forgeting things like family names, etc, houses on my street didn't look familiar, not feeling confident about where I was when I was driving... and so many other things.


I thought maybe I'm not (can't think of word here.....oh got it) challenging myself enough - so started a craft/art business, tried to apply at some jobs, got a personal trainer (really figured I sure see a doc when I would do lunges and fall over - my balance was off but I'd loose count - which foot do I put in front next? Even my trainer was a little concerned). Now PA and doc want me to see a neuropshyc. So they're checking with my insurance.


Not sure what to expect to do or see when I do. She also wants me to try pamelor for the headpressure, ear ringing, fatom smells and balance. I'm not familiar with that... but I know I have a LOT of trouble with meds like that... so we'll see. Seems these docs seem to think I have a learning disorder, dispression, mood disorder, etc etc ..... I'm no rocket scientist but I don't have to be to know that things changed and rapidly and just after the fall to know this is something more physical.

So... hope someone can let me know their opinions about the med, about a neuropysch. (however you spell it)... so I know if I'm on the right track or should I try something else. After 3 not so good doctor visits (won't get into the long stories there) I was ready to just say heck with it - but the first doc insisted I take a retest and talk to his PA... so I did and here I am. I'm still wondering maybe just pull up my boot straps and deal with it... but not sure how - and that's another story maybe for another time. I refuse to loose my sense of humor .... if that goes... I'm really in bad shape. Just not sure how much people around me believe there's a problem or know what to do or not to do around me. Thanks for listening.


Head injuries I've had in the past(gave this list to the doc). When I was around 5yrs old I fell from a tall slide (appx 6-7’tall) when I was pushed off and landed on my back on the grass. I don’t remember my mom saying if I ever lost conscience. I do remember she said I didn’t cry right away until after I got up and Mom took me home – I didn’t want to leave. I don’t remember her saying that she ever took me to the hospital. I didn’t remember the incident until years (I was around 9 or 10) later when we were taking my nephews to a playground and they wanted me to go up with them and I kept hesitating. I had no problem with another slide, but this particular slide made me feel uneasy. That’s when mom told me the story.

When I was about 15 or so, I was walking down stairs to the basement when my shirt caught on the railing. I missed the next step and I remember falling down a few stairs, feeling my head bouncing on the steps. The next thing I remember was my dog licking my arm and face as I lay at the lower end of the steps (I didn’t fall all the way down). I don’t remember my full position but I was slow to get up. My head, neck and back hurt so I returned upstairs to wake my mom to take me to the hospital. She continued her sleep and kept saying later, don’t bother me. I don’t remember what I did after that. I do remember a few days later my Mom took me to singing lessons and after a few seconds, my teacher stopped – looked at me and asked when I fell. I looked at Mom and then her confused at how she could tell. She said my breathing, tone and words weren’t right. She wanted Mom to take me directly to the hospital after I told her the story. Mom made an appointment a few days later with a chiropractor. Fast forward to about 7yrs ago from now when I lived in NH, I had trouble turning my head and was in a lot of pain. Doctor sent me to another doctor that specialized in natural therapy rather than trying full surgery for bulging disks in my neck. After doing some scans, one of the first questions she asked me was when did you fall down the stairs and break your neck? At the time, I didn’t think or remember the time when I was 15. After some talk between us, I told her the story. She said I was lucky. If the injury had been worse, I might not be standing here today. She worked with me for a few weeks and got my neck working better and the swelling down. She did say that it would probably flare up now and then and that I shouldn’t go on fast rides, etc where I would put quick jerky movements on my neck also to avoid looking far upward as much as possible. She also asked if I had ever seen a neurologist for the head injury. I said not that I knew of. She said it might be fine forever but might also cause problems later in life. She didn’t say what kind of problems.

Also in NH, after I went to the doctor for my neck, I don’t remember much about this time, I fell down the steps and hit the back of my head hard enough that when I heard the crack, I thought it was my head but it was the wall that now had a hole in it the size of my head. I saw stars for a bit. I don’t think I went out. I didn’t go to the hospital. I never got sick from it. I was more worried about my neck than my head at the time.

Back track to a time in Hawaii, appx 17-18 yrs ago, while scuba diving I was knocked off the reef upon exiting and hit my head face first. I know I must have been knocked out briefly because I found myself underwater, my mask turned on my face and partly off, I had water in my mouth, my air supply had twisted and was behind me so I couldn’t reach it and I had taken my fins off just before this happened, they were still in my hand. I grabbed the reef as the wave pushed me back into it again and held on tight as I climbed up and out. I came out with 2 black eyes but felt fine. After a quick lunch break for about an hour, we returned for another shallower dive. I never went to the hospital.

Also in Hawaii, I was at a gas station when I went to get back in my truck I hit my head, hard. I got in and had to sit a moment until the stars stopped and I was less dizzy. I just lived up the road and decided to drive home. At the red light, I looked at the hill across the street and remember thinking how strange it was that a whole section of grass turned grey. Then I realized it wasn’t the grass, it was my sight that the center of my vision was missing color. I went home and decided if it didn’t clear up within an hour I would have someone drive me to the ER. I called Bob at work to tell him to call back within that time to check on me. I seemed fine within the hour and didn’t go to get checked out.

Thanksgiving 2011, I had my dog on leash and was walking up the set of concrete steps in the yard when he decided to quickly turn around while I was mid step – one foot up in the air to step up. I caught the metal decorative pieces on the side of the steps to try to break my fall. I don’t know if I went out. I remember laying on the ground my left leg bent back under me and I was flat on the concrete walkway. I wasn’t hurting but knew not to get up quick. I concentrated on me, thinking to check my hands, feet for movement, pain, etc. I didn’t have a phone on me and knew that no one would hear me yell. I remained there for a few minutes before slowly getting up and going inside. I had a slight headache and saw stars but did not go to the hospital.

Easter 2012, I stepped sideways on the round plastic garden edging and fell to the ground – rolling down the small grass hill. I’m not sure if I hit my head or not. But I remember seeing my foot stepping on the edging and thinking to not step there but my foot wasn’t listening to my head.
I’m pretty sure there were other times where I hit my head, but don’t remember times, details.