NeuroTalk Support Groups - new here 5 months since concussion

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- - new here 5 months since concussion (https://www.neurotalk.org/traumatic-brain-injury-and-post-concussion-syndrome/180399-5-months-concussion.html)

Cyclecrash

"how do you deal with people/relatives saying that you look fine?"

I believe we have all had that at some point in our injury journey. I had a close friend whom asked me "since your off work now, can you make me some gates and build me a fence". I still get puzzled by that - if I was well enough to do those things - I would be in work :confused:

Mark is correct (as always ;)) the video on youtube is very good. My wife whom I have know for 35 years and an ex nurse didn't understand, until she saw the video sequences.

Quote:

Originally Posted by "Starr" (Post 937140)

I have mostly canceled Christmas here. Normally my parents come to visit and stay a couple days (I only see them twice a year) and I've asked them not to come. They came in May (my fall was in Feb) and I had major setbacks after their visit. They are very upset about not coming, but I no longer care.

I am not doing any gift shopping this year at all. We don't have any little kids in the family, pretty much all older kids and adults. I spent 2 hours and wrote 4 cheques for the older kids, that's all they want anyhow is $. Who knew writing cheques could take so long and require so much sleep after?? Turns out typing is way easier than writing with a pen.

My husband and daughter (24) are getting a cash budget that they can choose to spend how they want and they will go buy what they want. I won't be involved in that. They are insisting on me getting something, so I will online shop for myself and have it delivered.

Other people that we normally visit or exchange gifts with, I told we are not doing that this year, that I feel like crap and I just don't have it in me. Many are upset and don't understand, but I no longer care.

I'm just not doing it, period. I will likely cook a turkey on Christmas day for the 3 of us, big enough to feed us for a few days so that I won't have to do much cooking after that.

Not sure I'll even bother putting up the tree. If I suddenly get motivated and find the energy, great, if not, that's fine too.

I find it hard enough to get through what HAS to be done each day to keep my hobby farm going, all my animals alive and my family reasonably looked after. I just can't take on anymore, I don't have it in me.

I've never tried it before, but this year I'm trying to learn that "No" IS a complete sentence. ;)

Starr

On the other thread about losing "the spark" within us it seems you not alone as a lot of us a struggling at this time of year

Hello,

Starr it sounds like you have the perfect idea for this year! I think I will re-read your post every day and take it as my own rules for this Christmas. The shopping is all done.. online shopping is good for that... and I've cancelled the big party that is always at my house Christmas Eve. We are renting a room for it this year. This way I can go but leave whenever I want. As for the driving two hours (each way) I think I agree with Mark and this will be a no go for this year. My mother in law is in her 80's and her health isn't great so I really wanted to make sure I made it. I will have to try to get there early in the new year when I'm feeling a little better. I'm going to talk to my NeuroPsych today about it and see what she suggests.

I've watched the Youtube videos "you look fine" a few months back, but I don't remember much about them except they were helpful at the time. I should get my husband to re-watch them with me because I still don't think he totally understands what's going on here. I had him read the "What Brain Injury Survivors want you to Know" sheet (also posted this on facebook and emailed it to a few people) and also "9 things Not to say to someone with a brain injury" and I think they helped a bit. Thanks for posting them Mark.

I've only had two people say to my face "you look good" and I knew there was a subtext of "you don't look sick" and I just said thanks. I don't think quickly enough to come up with a witty comment or even to explain well that I look ok but don't feel it. I know a couple people, that I've only seen once or twice since the accident, have been saying it but not to me. I understand that they don't get it but then why don't they just ASK me what's wrong? Frustrating.

I tried to create a signature but it looks like I don't have that option yet. I don't have the energy or ability to stay on the computer long enough to find out why but I'm sure it will appear sooner or later.

I hope you are all having a good day!