I just dropped my daughter at daycare and she was really excited to go, but I didn't want to take her. I wanted to keep her with me, because being my myself is just so hard. It's all dreary outside, which doesn't help, but today, the full weight of our predicament has finally hit me. My husband is a teacher, so if he doesn't find a position for the fall, we are screwed. I wish I could apply for jobs too, just to feel like I'm doing something, but my previous work was as a proofreader or an archivist, which are both jobs that require heavy use of your eyes. There is no way I could do either job with my eyes as bad as they are. Even this morning, they hurt so much, I'm just sitting here in the dark.

The only job openings for my husband in this city are at schools where he would not feel safe and I would not feel comfortable having him there either. The school where he is teaching currently has already had three guns in the building this year, and a month ago, he was physically intimidated by three students, one of whom has been convicted of serious crimes. So really our only option is to move to wherever he can find a job. We were hoping to move closer to family or friends, but I'm worried that the jobs are so limited that he won't be able to find one somewhere we might want to move. Before, I was thinking the worst-case scenario would be that we would have to move somewhere we didn't want to move, but now I'm worried that the worst-case scenario is that he won't find a job at all. What would we do then?

This is all a lot of pressure on him. He was pretty down yesterday. I just feel totally helpless. The thought of having to pack up our house and sell it is just devastating to me. And what if it doesn't sell? What would we do then? I don't want to move. Just wish there was some other option.

Thanks for reading. I don't even know where to turn anymore.