Hi,

I am 3 months in to PCS. My main symptom is horrible, constant headache pain.

I initially did an OK job at trying to get lots of rest, avoiding screen time, noise, etc. I am a hard core Type A personality, full-time working mom of 3. So, rest was never in my vocabulary, to say the least. Since then, I have tried to continue with the focused rest, but have often run errands, and of course, taken care of my girls. My husband has jumped in to help, but I still do lots (shopping, and lots of errands) - my fault, not his. At 2 separate points, I went to my parent's place for 2 week breaks to get more quiet and rest without the kids. I did still read a lot and watched tv in the evenings at their place.

At my last appointment with my neuro-psychologist, she said it is time to 'accept' the PCS and to make it a part of my family's culture. (Heartbreaking) However, after reading through some of the posts on here, I am sensing that I have screwed up - I was not getting enough rest by far - "pure" rest that is, and that maybe I should go back to trying to get more rest...such a struggle. I want to be a part of my kids and husband's life, but also want to get better. Trying to find the right balance seems to be hell.

I am hoping to make the following my daily schedule for the next few weeks to see if this will help - parents and experienced PCS folks, would love your 2 cents:

7:30 wake up with cuddles with kids...(best part of the day)
8:00 - 9:00 get kids off to school
9-5:30: REST - no tv, no reading..audiobooks and CBC, crocheting ONLY. Will continue with laundry (I find it soothing) and making dinner - everything else stops.
5:30-8: kid time - dinner, hopefully 'quietish' play with the girls and/or a quiet date with husband
8pm - crochet, audiobook, talk with hubby
10 - off to bed.

Interspersed in there are of course the dr appointments...and every weekend we will head to the cottage - it is much easier to rest there, just have to endure the drive there and back.

Thoughts???

Have you seen a spine specialist to make she you don't have a neck injury? Neck injuries can also cause daily headaches and often accompany concussions. How did you get your concussion?

I wish I would have rested more after my first and second concussions. I just didn't know how important it was, so you are not alone.

What treatments or medicines have you tried to deal with your headaches?

Hello Skatemom,

I felt myself a little in how you described what you called "focused rest" or something. That was how I tried to heal first -- and it just didn't work.

It's good to find the things that do sooth you and if doing laundy and folding is soothing, then do it. But if you get tired doing it-- stop and rest.

For myself, I just had to let things really go and finally I had to accept I would not finish the school year teaching.

This PCS is so tricky because I can't PUSH THROUGH the rest or focus it. I found I had to lay down and just sleep when anything became too much for me no matter what time it was. This is still true.

When I do too much or try too hard, my body physically reminds me with fatigue or a flare up of sound/light senstivity that I am doing too much.

Try keeping a journal to understand your triggers too.

Can your children help with any of the tasks you normally do for them?

Can you get anyone to help with your children?

Can you get any help in to do the errands or have someone go with you to do those?

The book BrainLash --Gail DEnton?? has helped me a lot.

Basically, if you can let it go -- let it go --

Sincerely,

pm

Skatemom,

The most important part about getting quiet rest is to moderate your peak activities. Avoiding the high stress events of a day is important. It is a going to need to be a family culture. No more super mom, even in spurts. Think of it as if your are driving a car with a fish bowl on the seat. No fast starts or stops. A slow build up of effort to a moderated peak level is good.

You should also consider your bodily moves throughout the day. Bending over to load and unload a dryer or front load washer can cause neck motions that are not good. You may not sense any pain or stress in these moves but that does not mean they do not negatively impact your head.

Your posture at rest and while sleeping can also be a problem. Those cozy and comfy cuddling positions may be problematic. I know this cuddling issue personally. I know I will pay for the cuddling time if I am not careful. I feel fine during the cuddling but end up paying later in the day.

These are the things you need to discover for yourself. You may notice you sleep better or wake up feeling better if you find that good position for sleeping and such. It took me quite some time to figure this out. When I did, it made a big difference.

It sounds like you have hit that point of accepting your need to make serious changes. That is a great start.

My best to you.

I am currently 14 months pcs. I spent my first 12 weeks in a dark room doing nothing at all, no t.v. no reading, only CBC radio. My room became my quite buble and no noise or stress was to enter. I am a single parent of 4 - 3 still at home 15, 17 and 19. I had to depend on them to bring me meals, take over the finances and my whole life. I was a self employed bookkeeper who worked 60 hours a week, hockey manager for 2 teams and a daughter who involved in competitive dance. It was an enormous change and really hard in terms of isolation as all I had were teenagers who were never home and often forgot to feed me. Thank god for the neighbours who would come over and make me toast.

I actually tried to work the first week after my car accident, but the nauseau, headaches and dizziness killed me. I was then convienced to quit working and just rest, I was in tears, being self employed it also meant no money, my children are currently working and supporting me (thank god I had 4).

Your life will take on a new reality, it is not your old life it is totally new. I am very fortunate that I have alot of advice from occupational therapist and other professionals. I basically have planned activity followed by rest. I go to bed really early. I tried a 21 day mediation series which helped and restorative yoga. Watch out for the stress of the kids and you can't feel guilty. All the negative emotions are using up precious energy you need to recover. I feel bad that I have missed so many activities with my kids but there is nothing I can do about it and the best thing you can do for your kids is for you to get better.

I was told to figure out what 100percent that you can do is and then do half. Others have told me that if you feel worst you probably have done too much.

Here is what I now do in a day - get up at 7 - walk the dogs (20 minutes). Clean the kitchen (1/2 hour) eat and find a sitting down acitivty (maybe computer or sit outside). I will then do another hour of housework and picking up. In the afternoon I rest for an hour or two, I quite frequently fall asleep ( I usually listen to CBC radio). I get up and start dinner and maybe bake something. I clean up from dinner and go for another walk. I then find a resting activity for an hour and then I get up and do more activity. I now go to restorative yoga once a week and aqua fit once a week. Grocery shopping kills me so I do that every second week but I would get rid of that activity if I could for now.

I am better and have been able to do more but it is painfully slow and extremely isolating. Just keep putting one foot ahead of the other and be aware of what signs your body is sending.

Best Wishes.

Thank you for that!

I was also pondering how much rest to get. Right after my injury, I was still in school which was a high stress environment. Got headaches everyday and still toughed it out in school for a month a half. I've been out of school since and have been trying to rest but honestly still spend a lot of time on the computer and still going out and doing my daily things. The only things i've really stopped is school and running.

So I was just thinking today after reading so many things about rest protocals about putting myself in that "bubble situation" for a week which means no TV, and computer and seeing if that would make a difference.

Do you think this would actually make a differnce in somone who is 3 months PCS?

Thank you so much !

Dear Norma,

The restorative Yoga sounds very interesting. I would ike to try that.

Do you think you have improved a lot? As well are you taking any perscription medicaiton? Thank you!

I too am wondering how much rest to get, I am plagued by the worst headaches ever, for 3 days straight it did not shift, even lying down in a dark room did not help.

My therapist said of course when it lasts for that long you've done far too much.

I find it very hard not to keep busy but am being "good" because I want to feel better and not fight it.

I was told not to sit all day, must do something but not too much so I guess it's trial and error, a simple walk will bring the headache on, no pain pills get rid of it, used to running up steep hills, hiking rough terrain etc but cannot do it, (I paid big time trying to run a hill a few weeks ago )

It's very tough, taking is annoying, noise, bright lights...

Sleep is important, today I woke up at 1PM after going to bed at 11, I do wake up in terror a few times...another story...but slept like the dead from 4AM to 1PM

Feel better everyone

The important point about activities is a moderate schedule of activities with NO ACTIVITIES AT ALL that push your limits. Take you usual activity load and reduce it by one half. Take you maximum activity intensity and reduce it by three quarters. If you used to do an hour of aerobics, change that to 15 minutes of light body movement. Same for cognitive load.

And, DO NOT LOAD UP YOUR MEMORY. Use lists and reminders. Having a loaded day stored in memory is just too much stress. No multi-tasking. It is not good for a healthy brain.

Do not drive in congested traffic. Drive when the traffic is uncongested. Leave earlier or later to avoid it. A few minutes of congested traffic can undo days of quiet rest.

These all combine to give your brain a break.

Good info Mark, I'm using lists for everything, you are so right about having a loaded day stored in memory, yikes...awful. If I try to think of even 2 things at the same time it's confusion and headaches big time.