[Kenjhee]

Weird question perhaps, but wondering if anyone else feels the same way. I find I don't like talking about the fact that I have serious health problems, and especially that I suffered a brain injury. I did not in any way cause it (I was a passenger in a car wreck), so why do I feel uncomfortable discussing it?

[FlooredHockeyMom]

Hi, I am new on this forum.

I do not like to talk about it either. I'm 1 1/2 yrs out of my accident- a sports injury that I didn't cause. Moderate concussion. Broken nose and orbital floor blowout. I've a metal plate under my eye which is giving me eye problems, although my vision's better than the initial double vision, it still gives me headaches at the end of the day.

I feel like no one understands. I don't want to hear the Know it Alls saying, " You'll get better. It just takes time."
I can tell some folks dismiss my symptoms as whining.

On the other hand, I feel like other people judge me harshly and unfairly without knowing that I'm recovering (I look and act for the most part as if there's nothing wrong with me). So I feel like I can't win.

I just went through a very intensive job training program and am having trouble getting into the paperwork part of it. I've asked for an extension on the deadline because I feel I have processing problems- need a neuropsych evaluation soon. Maybe putting labels on my problems will help me (and others) to accept it.
C

[Mark in Idaho]

I do not hesitate to tell somebody I have a brain injury when my limitations become evident. I don't wine. I just state as a matter of fact that I have a brain injury and can not do 'such and such' very well. I may comment about my struggle with sound or poor memory skills. I also note that I limit my driving because of my brain injury. I try to frame it in a way that educates the other person(s) about brain injuries.

[EsthersDoll]

Yeah, I try do the same thing as Mark as much as I can. (It bothers people that I happen to be beating at a board game though. )

It was embarrassing at first, but I'm so much better than I am now... I feel like I don't need to tell people that much anymore.

But I was taught in PT when I was learning how to gain the strength to walk again, that I don't ever have to apologize for having a disability. That if someone expects that then it's them who need to apologize.

So maybe that's what it is, you feel apologetic or embarrassed that you don't function the same way that you did before your injury?

What if you had "popped out" the way you are? You wouldn't be apologizing then. The person you are dealing with has no idea who you were beforehand.

Or maybe you feel like you aren't behaving in a way that people can understand why? Then maybe you should tell them why so they at least have the opportunity to understand and accommodate you. (I've learned that some people are either not compassionate enough to be able to understand or they are not smart enough to understand... but they are really far apart and few between.)

Experts also say that those people who are best able to openly accept and communicate with others that they are tbi survivors are the ones who recover the best from them. I think it's even in the tbiguide that's floating around written by that neuropsychologist...

It's ok not to have a label to explain what your issues are or may be, just letting someone know you have trouble due to tbi should be enough IMO.

[poetrymom]

I don't mind expressing myself as I am a writer and a teacher. I try not to bore anyone with details or to go on and on about symptoms. That's where this board and other groups I belong to are really helpful.

As a teacher and one who genuinely wants to help others, I do talk about my accident and what helped me, but I do that more here. And honestly, I have more patience with students who are eternally distracted. I have that distracted mind too right now.

I am very grateful for this forum. It gave me hope when I was so scared.

Take care all

pm

[Concussion]

I agree with Mark; I don't mind discussing it, and adding some sort of education into the discourse; however, will back down as soon as I see the glaze in the eyes of the listener.

I believe everyone has seen it...... their eyes wander, they look uncomfortable, look for something else to do, move off a little, shift away.

I try not to go on and on, but its hard, and work at it as best I can, but its nice to hear if someone is interested, but that doesn't last, does it.

So, I begin to change the subject, shy off in conversing, phase off, and leave usually.

People really do not want to hear much at all. IMO. Even family at times.

[Marina22]

Originally Posted by Concussion

I agree with Mark; I don't mind discussing it, and adding some sort of education into the discourse; however, will back down as soon as I see the glaze in the eyes of the listener.

I believe everyone has seen it...... their eyes wander, they look uncomfortable, look for something else to do, move off a little, shift away.

I try not to go on and on, but its hard, and work at it as best I can, but its nice to hear if someone is interested, but that doesn't last, does it.

So, I begin to change the subject, shy off in conversing, phase off, and leave usually.

People really do not want to hear much at all. IMO. Even family at times.

Totally agree