OMG! I feel the same way about being touched. If my husband strokes my arm or head, I put my hand over his to still it. I just can't stand the movement.

I understand the touch thing. Also, I used to sleep with my hands clasped together (like I was praying), and now I can't stand to do that. It just feels so weird. I don't even know how to describe the sensation or repulsion that I feel when I try.

Mine isn't so much touch, but that I startle like crazy. If my boyfriend taps me on the arm to get my attention, and I don't see it coming, I gasp loudly and jump and I feel extremely anxious.

The other day, I was facing my house and my neighbor said "hello" and I gasped so loud that he apologized repeatedly for having "scared me". I felt so silly!

Yep, I've got the exaggerated startle reflex. It's pretty common in TBI patients - but it drives my husband nuts.

I've also got the crazy startle thing going on ... to the point sometimes I startle so badly it makes me cry. Doesn't that make me feel like an idiot?!

It used to make my husband and my grown daughter nuts (before she moved out on her own) but after over 2 years, now my husband just rolls his eyes and says "Can't you get over that??"... Umm, no... I can't... I don't startle on PURPOSE!!

The only improvement with the startling I've been able to make is to occasionally control the outburst of swearing that accompanies it. Sometimes I can manage to control the volume of the swearing and at least not yell obscenities and sometimes I can manage to curb them before they get going.

The swearing is new with my injury and very out of character for me and would have never happened pre injury, so it is incredibly embarrassing and alienating to people around me. I've managed to learn to stop it in almost every other situation other than the startling situations, but I keep working on it.

Who knew falling on my head would bring out my inner sailor??
Starr

Hi everyone,

This subject gave me a really good chuckle!! I was so sensitive to my husband's touch initially. I'd startle, then want to slug him! Now I can tolerate him touching my back or holding and rubbing my hand, which he used to do a lot before the injury.

Just took a little time and healing, I guess. I don't startle as often as I did, either.
Take care, M-i-m

OMG, my accident made me a potty mouth, too. I didn't use that sort of language before, but I'd heard a lot of it in hockey dressing rooms.

I have tried everything to stop myself. I tried putting a dime "fine" in a jar every time I cussed. However, I abandoned the effort when I realized I was going to be able to pay off the U.S. national debt.

yes, a potty mouth, and I have no filter. A bad combination around my 3 children.

But it all makes for some laughs!

Yes, very familiar with the lack of filter and potty mouth combo! So not good!

But its important to me to be able to TRY to fit into social situations... its bad enough that loud noises, background noise, bright lighting, florescent lighting, not being able to remember people's names or other personal details, feeling miserable with a constant headache, lurching around with an odd gait walking with my cane, crying easily, being easily angered, laughing inappropriately interfere with my ability to socialize, I draw the line at blurting out swear words in the middle of conversations too!!

So I have worked hard at trying to at least minimize this really alienating behaviour... and honestly its hard... the lack of filter makes it difficult.

The things that have helped a bit are:

-- practicing "normal" conversation at home before hand. Things that might come up during that particular event and the appropriate response to common questions that are likely to be asked. It seems the swearing comes up more when topics come up that surprise me or get me riled up.

-- practicing "stop and think" before answering. (I got this tip from one of Mark's posts! ) There's no need for an immediate answer when someone else says something. There's ALWAYS time to just take a breath and consider what you're going to say.

For me, this also seems to help minimize the swearing... in a few ways. The surprise factor, as above, gives me a chance to try to get that under control and also with word finding... because it seems if I have trouble word finding, then my brain fills the blanks in with swear words.

It also gives you a chance to try to really think about what's about to come out of your mouth and try to practice "installing the filter" again.

I've been practicing this for well over a year now and honestly its still hit or miss, but I try hard and when I'm focusing and I'm not too tired, it does make a difference. I find it exhausting though and I had hoped with practice it would get easier, but so far, not so much, but I keep at it.

I figure its just part of the rehab process, just like working on learning to walk properly again... which I've been working at for over 2 years now.

Starr