I feel awful tonight because I completely forgot to go to an MRI (a new type) last night. I knew all day it was that night, and then it went out of my mind. Just remembered late tonight when a friend was talking about taking her mum to an appointment.

I feel awful and useless. This is the second MRI I miss (it is a rebooked appointment from January...I missed that one because I didn't see the appointment letter that was sent through the mail).

I know an MRI will not advance my healing...but my new doctor wanted to see if there was particular issues on the DWI MRI.

Does anyone else get down on themselves when they mess up? I am so tired of having to say sorry for being late in things, for forgetting things, for having a house that is a huge mess, etc.

My spouse said he forgets things all the time....but it doesn't seem like the same type of forgetting. And I can't forget the reason for the forgetting!

Sigh.

It sounds like you may need to establish some memory aids. When I have an important appointment, I write it on the refrigerator then set my cell phone alarm for 15 to 30 minutes before I have to leave. I usually also set a second alarm for 5 minutes before I have to leave 'just in case.'

I plan on forgetting rather than try to rely on remembering.

Mokey,

I do this too. Two weeks ago I messed up two events. I set up a ride for myself with my mom. I looked at the calendar on my phone and immediately texted her the time and it was an hour off.

The other was a gal from my support group texted me to go to lunch. I texted yes and some info but never sent it. I must have gotten distracted cause I was in the middle of typing a sentence and wouldn't ya know I forgot to finish. Why am I still surprised.

I have many more examples. Sadly...and I do beat myself up over it because I'm expecting the person I used to be. This IS who I am now...I should be nicer to myself! Hey, you too! You have a brain injury.

How about a post it on the bathroom mirror or the fridge. I'm in the fridge all day long getting cold water and then u can guess why the bathroom mirror.

I carry my phone at all times and check my daily schedule like an obsessive person now.

I like what Mark said. "I plan to forget."

Oh, Mokey, I almost laughed and cried because I do this all the time. I have three children so I had to come up with systems to change. Kids were being left at school, and it was becoming a safety issue!

I have an iPhone, and I program it with alerts everyday. Where I parked the car even becomes an event in the calendar. I create and event called car and I put in the pin with the address!

I put the MRI appointment date, time and address as soon as I get the piece of paper in the mail or I am schedule at the doctor's office, because I know that I will put that piece of paper down and file it away to oblivion.

I have a calendar with pockets and I file the information associated with the appointment for that month in the pocket.

A friend who has MS told me about another system which has been very helpful:

1. Write down everything in a calendar as soon as it comes in the mail.
2. Everday write down your to do list on a note card and rubber band it to your iPhone
3. Cross off your to do list. What you don't finish, write on your next day's list.

Even when I was first at home and never left, this was important, because the days blended into each other, and I forgot everything. Grocery lists, doctor's appointments, where kids were, etc.

It's so hard! We use to be able to keep everything inside our noggin! Now nothin' is inside the noggin! My Aunt says that's the key to happiness!

Hey mokey,

Oh boy, I do this all the time too!! I put notes on my desk and by the coffee pot so first thing in the morning I know what I have to do that day, I have to go over and over the notes then get upset trying to remember where the darn notes are! I've even walked around with sticky notes on my arm then forget they are there, it is a huge problem.


Mark has a great idea with the timer so hope that helps you.

Yes, I get very upset (does not help) because I used to be able to remember everything in my head, 5 things at once but not anymore so this is the "new us"

Hugs...

Hi all,

I can relate to the memory fails. I had two big appointments last Thursday, and my daughter's big appointment was this Wednesday. I had diligently put them on the big desk calender and on my phone.

My reminder's, however, went off for my own appointments while I was there ( I put in the wrong times), and we almost missed my daughter's appointment because I put in the wrong day. Her doctor's office called and asked if we were still coming. So maybe I have a bigger problem with accuracy of information. I still have a lot of trouble with numbers, and transposing them.

I try not to use too many notes, because I lose them too easily. I finally broke down and got a pill organizer because I kept forgetting when or if I took my meds. Ugh.

Timers are life savers. I don't really have a good fix for memory. Just relieved to see I'm not the only one. Take care, M-i-m

I missed the same appointment 4 times a few months ago, so I totally understand.

What I had to do was buy a big calendar and hang it above my laptop. A planner no longer works for me because I forget to check it.

Anyway, I cross things off each time as I complete them. I am able to remember to look at the calendar daily because it's in an area of the house that I frequent. I use a bold black marker to write things so that I can see them easily.

I write down the bills, too, or I completely forget to pay them. I used to do automatic debits, but then I'd forget to put money in the bank. I left an uncashed check on my desk for months.

I also email myself reminders, set timers, and tell friends and family members what my plan are. That way, when they say, "You're going to see your doctor today, right?", I can pretend I didn't forget lol.

I still have problem with my meds and supplements. I often forget if I take them. I'm thinking about labeling Ziploc bags with the date and then throwing them away each day (the empty baggies).

I cried last week because I spent 20 minutes looking for my keys...that were on a lanyard around my neck. Sigh.

My life is now in my iPhone.

In the calendar app... Twice a day it reminds me to take my pills. Plus I also have my pills in a pill organizer, so I can double check if I happen to forget whether I actually did take them or not.

Every appointment is put in my phone and it reminds me 2 hours before and an hour before. Once the 2 hour reminder goes off, I reset that reminder to go off 30 minutes before (assuming that's the time I actually have to walk out the door). For unusual or very important appointments, I also set a reminder for 2 days before.

In the notes app, I keep lists.
Grocery lists, lists of questions to ask each member of my rehab team as I think of them (one list per rehab member), a list of my current meds and dosages, little notes of things I need to remember, things to take with me, directions to places, to do lists, where I parked the truck... everything and anything.

I set alarms, to remind me to do things... check things on the stove... etc.

I make an effort to put things in immediately and I take time first thing in the morning before getting out of bed and last thing at night before I get into bed to review my calendar and notes to get a feel for the day ahead and the day past and the next day.

My OT says that by reviewing before and after you give yourself a chance at establishing a thread of memories (for those of us that have a hard time consolidating information and memories). I'm not sure if it helps me with that or not, but I do find that at the end of the day, even if I don't remember what I did that day, I can look in my phone and get a feel for what happened that day and there's something reassuring about it. Like the day didn't just happen without me.. if that makes sense.

I'd be lost without my phone... I tried to have paper notes, but ended up losing them. I tried a planner and a large calendar, but forgot to check them and update them.

Mokey, I hope you can find a system that works for you. I do understand that awful feeling when you forget something important. In spite of my best efforts, I've had a few failures of my system above on occasion (usually when I think "Oh later I'll enter that in my phone... surely I won't forget! ) and it always makes me feel like crap.

And my house is a huge mess too... I've stopped apologizing for it though... I've got to the stage where I just don't care. Dirt is just dirt and a mess is not that bit of a deal... try to be kind to yourself... you're already having a hard time, you don't need to be angry with yourself too!

Starr

If I show up, it may well be at the wrong time.

To help me out, my PT and MT try to book my appointments for the same days and times every week. If they have to break that pattern, they send me a reminder email the night before.

I also carry a memory book, where I right down each day's schedule. When the day is done, I rip it out. That way, I don't mix up one day with another.

Don't we all sound over 100?

Just last night I set my alarm so I could get up and sit in the car to watch some of my daughters practice. Checked the planner on the iPhone and set the alarm for 11:00 am. Practice started at 10:00!

I have a binder for a memory book. In the beginning it was great. Now it's fulllll and it's to overwhelming to organize.

I put all appointments in my iPhone immediately with alerts. My husband will check when he thinks of it to make sure I've entered it correctly. I now show the receptionists at my appointments and they check. Good people trying to help me be successful.

I make notes and tape stuff in well used areas. I make piles for my husband. I can't do bills and banking anymore (that was my task prior) because of my frequency of errors.

Like Hokey, my drs keep my appts same day and time each week. Reallllly helps. I missed many that were on different days/times. I've shown up and they give me that look...wrong day. My OT office calls if it's an odd appt day/time.

We also have two magnetic white boards on the side do the fridge with different color markers. On Sunday we write down all activities for the week and each person is a different color. I think I got the boards at Walmart 10" x 12"

My mom takes me to many appts now that she is retired. We always forget where the car is. Now I take a picture.

I like the ideas in here! In teaching we steal, beg, and borrow items and ideas in free fashion helping each other to help our kids succeed. Just like here!

Jenna