boy I wish I knew the answer to that. I wish my girlfriend would push me harder and sometimes I wonder if it would matteranyway. There were a lot of days where I would wake up and say it really didn't happen and I wouldn't want to talk to anybody and stay on the couch and not even watch t_v so I can relate to what he feels. I think it's always better to do be doing something thaan be alone or just watching t_v alone. Once i am out I feel better and I think your husband would feel better being downstairs too. You have so much on your plate homeschooling and taking care of your husbandn. You must be very strong. make sure you take time out for yourself, therapy is really important this point and I hope he decides to do it. things need to be addressed buy a professional who will know what to say and what to do. My heart goes out to you

You know MarkNeil, I don't really feel strong. I am sure that sounds odd. I barely hit 5'0... I am terribly shy and timid. If I close my eyes, I can picture everything. The feelings, the smells, everything about the hospital. I can remember being there... how I felt. Picture myself there... but in a lot of ways, it's surreal. Because if you told me beforehand everything, I would have told you I am not strong enough to survive all of that. It proves, I guess, that love is the strongest emotion.

I haven't really had any bouts of caretaker fatigue in a long time. Very little of my time is spent on myself. And I'm ok with that. People have told me from day one to focus on myself, too... that way I don't breakdown, because if I breakdown then I am not good to anyone- my kids, my husband or myself.

My husband is the same way. If I get him out of the house, he's happier... but I can't get him to break the cycle. I can get him to leave the house for a day (like Monday was our son's birthday and we took the kids bowling- and when we got back, he had to nap- but he enjoyed being out while we were out there) but the next day, he goes back to being a hermit. My little hermit crab.